I Can Feel Your Heart Beat
by myIllusion
Summary: Jane and Maura are forced to work more closely together after a rift in their friendship. Final Chapter is Up
1. Chapter 1

**I Can Feel Your Heart Beat.**

**Rizzoli & Isles**

**Pairing: Jane Rizzoli/Maura Isles**

**Author: myIllusion**

**Rating: M for later chapters**

**Disclaimer: I do not own the characters-no copyright infringement intended.  
**

_A/N This story is in no way related to my other story Before and After on the Run. You may have to adjust to how Jane and Maura relate to one another. At least for now. Things will warm up in the near future._

**INTERROGATION**

"Listen kid, you need to tell me your name, you need to tell me where you live and you need to start telling me what really happened in that alley behind "The Nasty Vermin." Or, you're going to be held in a cell until someone a lot less nicer than me shows up and throws the book at you."

Jane had just about had it with this kid. Her heart went out for the girl, but they had questioned her for six hours and she hadn't uttered a single word. She looked like a bad-ass teenager. Not really a goth girl. She was wearing all black and had a pretty severe hair cut but no make-up.

Black eyes, black hair, black tee shirt, black jeans, black boots and a black leather jacket. But not a smudge of make-up. No jewelry with the exception of two leather wrist bands. Her skin was pale alabaster. Flawlessly smooth. Vampire? Jane snorted, at the thought, but was also kind of hoping the kid would smile so she could get a good look at her teeth.

A young man had been found bludgeoned to death by a three foot length of two by four. This girl was holding the murder weapon, sitting on the ground against the building ten feet away from the body. Whoever called it in remained anonymous and so far Frost had been unable to trace the call. He suspected a throw away cell phone had been used as no name was registered to the number it had come from. The location the call had been made from had been the alley where the body, and the girl had been found.

"I want to talk to the other one." The girl spoke the words softly, yet clearly. She was looking Jane straight in the eye with a very determined unflinching gaze.

"Other one what?" Jane asked, baffled but relieved that the girl had finally said something.

She nodded at the mirrored window behind Jane; staring at the glassed wall as though she could see right through.

"Her, the one watching behind the mirror. I can feel her there. She will listen to me. "

Jane sprung out of her chair and made for the door. "Don't you move." She commanded over her shoulder and nodded at the uniformed officer in the room to make sure he understood to watch the girl carefully.

She charged into the observation room to find Dr. Maura Isles looking completely flummoxed.

"How did she know I was here?"

"What are you doing here?"

The questions were asked simultaneously and the women regarded one another with flustered, frustrated expressions.

"Maura, what are you doing in here watching this interview? Don't you have a body to cut up or some shoes to buy or something?"

The Detective's tone was curt and rude but Maura had become used to that of late. Out of the blue, a friendship that had meant the world to Maura had been severed with no explanation.

Jane had simply stopped being Maura's friend. The rift had started slowly. Jane was too busy for lunch. No, she didn't have time for drinks after work. No, Jane was too tired to go to the movies. Finally Maura asked her directly.

"Jane, have I done something to make you angry with me?"

Jane had come into the morgue to pick up a file that Maura had just completed the paperwork on. She breezed through the door with her usual swagger but the bright and friendly smile Maura had been accustomed to seeing was glaringly absent.

"Huh... what? No... Why?"

"Well...I was wondering why you no longer want to spend time with me? Every time I ask you to lunch or...-" And then Maura started to cry. She couldn't help it. Suddenly, her hurt feelings seemed to coalesce, they bundled themselves together into a knot of pain that squeezed her heart. Tears pooled in her eyes, she started to hyperventilate and Jane had fled.

They hadn't spoken since. Of course they had spoken professionally but not of that incident in the morgue. Jane had taken obvious steps to avoid Maura after that embarrassing scene. Frost was always sent to the morgue to pick up documents. Autopsies were observed by both Detectives - Jane no longer indulged Frost and his weak stomach. The poor man was getting his immersion therapy thrust upon him at a startling rate.

Crime scenes were always crowded and Jane was reserved and matter of fact while gathering the pertinent facts she needed from Maura. They no longer shared a banter, they no longer had a synchronization in the way they worked together.

Maura sighed. Why had she come into the observation room? Because she wanted to watch Jane. That was the simple truth. She missed the Detective. Jane was good at her job, she was the best at what she did. That confidence was what made Jane so appealing and attractive. People who loved what they did and were good at their work were attractive. They emanated a light and brilliance that made people want to be around them.

Maura had never really thought about this before until Jane had taken it away. She would never understand people. This rejection from Jane had been the final blow. Friends were rare and dear to Maura and her friendship with Jane had been so easy, so...fun. Now all she could feel was confusion, hurt, and disappointment. She didn't think she could allow herself to be so open to Jane again, or anyone for that matter. People were just too unpredictable, unless they were dead. She understood dead people. She shook her head and realized that Jane was staring at her. Waiting for an answer. The truth was all that Maura knew and so she told it.

"I wanted to watch you."

"What?"

"I said, I wanted to watch you Detective. I like watching you interview suspects. I like to watch you work."

Jane looked as though she wanted to flee again, instead she ran her fingers through that wild mane and blurted.

"Christ Maura... well, somehow that kid in there felt you "watching" and wants to talk to you. She hasn't said a single word in six hours. I want you to come in and talk to her. And then Jane headed for the door expecting Maura to follow right behind her.

Maura hadn't moved. Something within her had nudged and stirred. A little flash of something hard and tight and hot. Anger. Jane had treated her badly. She was still treating her badly and Maura had done nothing that she knew of to warrant such disrespect. So she stood, immobile rooted to floor.

"Is that an order Detective?, or a request?"

"Huh? Jane's charcoal eyes sparked with some odd emotion that Maura could not identify. Fear? Shame? But the unguarded look was buried quickly behind an impatient anger.

" Come on Maura I don't want that kid to change her mind while you dither over my choice of words. Are you going to come and talk to her or not?"

That was blunt enough, Maura thought. The little flash she felt earlier, the anger she identified was turning into a tiny ball of flame. Maura didn't indulge in heated feelings, they always left her vulnerable and frightened and usually led to some unanticipated conflict. She didn't like conflict. She forced herself to be calm and consider her choices, which led her to a compromise she could live with.

" I'll talk to the girl Detective. But just so you understand... I'm doing it for her. Not for you Detective. "

**To Be Continued**


	2. Jealous

**I Can Feel Your Heart Beat.**

**Rizzoli & Isles**

**Pairing: Jane Rizzoli/Maura Isles**

**Author: myIllusion**

**Rating: M for later chapters**

**_Disclaimer: I do not own the characters-no copyright infringement intended._  
**

_Okay... so the next chapters will be longer I promise. These first two were just the set-up for the dynamic between Jane and Maura and also the impending mystery that is to unfold_.

**Maura, Jane and Phoebe**

Maura sat at the table across from the strange girl, while Jane positioned herself against the wall with her her arms crossed wearing a masked, blank expression - her Detective face. Maura could see a glimmer of hope behind the facade. Hoping to get some answers from this slip of a girl, whom Maura could only guess was in her late teens. It was difficult for Maura to determine the age of young adults, if they were still alive. If the girl was on her table the task would be much easier to figure out with bone density scans and also bone and tissue samples.

This girl was alive, however, and Maura silently reprimanded herself; she needed to stop looking at living people as though they would be on her table some day. This was one of the reasons she had trouble relating to humans and making friends with them. Even that thought was odd to the Medical Examiner. She classified people as human beings and yet herself as something "other."

Jane was tapping her foot impatiently and Maura forced herself to focus on the present situation. The girl was waiting expectantly for Maura to say something to her.

"Hi... My name is Dr. Isles...or..., ah... Maura, if you prefer."

She smiled across the table at the teenager, tilted her head curiously and sat back in her chair to relax. This young woman was interesting. Her eyes were very dark brown, like Jane's - they appeared to be almost black, but Maura could just barely see the distinction of pigment between the pupils and the irises. The depth and maturity within the girls gaze was extraordinary. If you studied only her eyes, she had the ancient gaze of someone who had lived many many years; which was a bit unsettling, yet not threatening in any way.

Her hair was jet black and thick. She wore it longer in the back, almost to her shoulders, but the sides and front were short and severe. Her forehead sported short bangs that formed a straight line and the sides had been tapered sharply at an angle, shaved almost to the skin.

Maura didn't understand why she thought the haircut fit the girl perfectly but it did. Usually, such intentional non-conformity prompted an irresistible need for Maura to ask inappropriate questions, which inevitably caused social discord and awkwardness for Maura and the unfortunate person she had focused her inquiries upon. Sigh. Not now Maura, again she told herself to be calm, steady, stop thinking... just be. (silent thoughts)

The girl twitched an eyebrow at the Medical Examiner and smiled with a somewhat lopsided grin before declaring.

"You sure think a lot... Maura."

And Maura laughed out loud, delighted by the teenagers candid statement. Yes she most certainly did. And, this girl was not a mind reader nor did she have ESP or any other such nonsense. There was a perfectly logical, scientific explanation behind her behavior, which Maura was determined to find out.

"I do think a lot... how did you know I was behind the glass? And how did you know I was female?"

Jane rather loudly cleared her throat at this point. A very transparent attempt at letting Maura know she didn't want her wasting time on questions that didn't serve the needs of finding out who the kid was and why she was in the alley? And also why did she club a guy to death with a two by four? All of these items were the the things that Jane urgently whispered into Maura's ear before guiding her, rather roughly, by the elbow into the interview room.

The girl jerked her head in Jane's direction without actually glancing over at the Detective.

"She... Detective Rizzoli, doesn't want you to ask me that. She's really mad at you but not about what you asked me. Something else made her mad at you. That guy over there is bored." And she pointed at the officer in the corner of the room. "Although he just got more interested in this conversation. And you are hurt, and a little mad too but the hurt comes through stronger... you don't like to let the mad in."

She paused for a moment to take in how her little assessment affected the occupants in the room before continuing. Jane was visibly shaken by the girls statement. Her brow was knit in confusion and denial before she forced her expression back into a stony mask. The uniformed officer was openly curious and staring wide eyed at the teenager. Maura was stunned into silence. Her hazel eyes flashed greener for a moment, the green parts over-rode the golden in a curious display of intense emotion - giving the girl an even clearer insight into the Medical Examiner.

" I didn't kill the man in the alley... Maura already knows that and so do you Detective Rizzoli... but you want me to tell you what I do know - that's why you continue to hold me and treat me as a suspect. I knew you were behind the glass Maura because I could feel you there. No one was in that room until you walked into it a half an hour ago. I could tell you were female because... I... maybe I just guessed. There's a fifty fifty chance of me being right. Right? "

"No," Maura was certain the girl was being deceitful. "You knew I was female without seeing me. I know when a person is telling the truth... um... what is your name? " And Maura cocked her head at the girl, her curiosity had grown into a giant balloon of intrigue. This girl was an enigma. Maura had never met anyone so strange nor so mysteriously captivating.

"Phoebe." And she smiled at Maura. A warm trusting smile. A smile that said, I have given you my name and therefore my trust. To know my name is to have a hold, a link, something invisible that binds us together.

"Phoebe," Maura whispered the name and returned the girls smile with a reassuring nod. 'Bright and Pure' in the Greek translation. And yet you cover yourself in dark, black clothing? Are you undercover Phoebe?"

"Okay...that's just about enough weird for me to deal with in one day." Jane sauntered over to the table and plopped herself down in the chair next to Maura. Not being able to help herself she smirked at the both of them like they had just beamed down from the "Mother Ship." Shaking her head, a baffled wry amusement flitted across her features before they settled back into a stern frustration.

"Phoebe... you said a moment ago that you did not kill the man in the alley, and that you knew we didn't think you had... what makes you say so? And before you answer that... If you didn't kill him who did? And why were you sitting there waiting for the police to show up, holding the murder weapon in your hands? All of that is kind of dumb wouldn't you say? You don't seem to be a dumb girl. "

Jane had rambled like she never had before in an interrogation. She felt a need to rattle the questions all at once because this girl, this Phoebe, was so weird... and Muara was making things even weirder. Christ! Maura had been helpful in getting the girl to talk but then she went off on her own bizarre tangent. What the fuck? She also didn't like that stuff the girl said about her being mad at Maura. She was hoping to deflect the conversation far away from that uncomfortable and painful topic.

"You should just tell her how you feel instead of hurting her so bad. What you're doing is mean Detective Rizzoli...but you know that already." Phoebe was looking at Jane directly, her gaze was piercing in it's intensity. The combination of the odd girls stare and her words made Jane flush with embarrassment and shame... and anger. But somehow the anger felt empty...useless... and then it seemed to melt away.

"I was already in the alley when the man came in and beat that guy. I was in the shadows by the dumpster behind that bar. He didn't see me. By the time I thought to do something to make him stop it was already too late. He tossed the board on the ground and made a call with a cell phone and then he left. I walked over to see if I could help but I knew he was dead after the first blow. I could feel his life stop. I picked up the board and sat down to wait for the police. I knew you would want to know what happened."

Jane sighed deeply and risked a glance at Maura , who was watching her speculatively. She ran her fingers through her dark hair and nodded at Maura to take over the questioning.

"Phoebe, did you get a good look at the man?"

"Yes, he was tall. He was waiting for the guy to come out of "The Nasty Vermin." It's a men's bar you know? A gay bar. I heard him walk into the alley and he was talking on his phone. Then he just stood outside back and waited, he had the board in his hand already. They knew each other. They argued for a minute and then he just started beating on the guy. He hit him six or seven times, a couple times after he was already on the ground...then he tossed the board on the ground and spit on him."

Maura was excited by the idea of the "spit." If traces were still on the body or clothes they would have a DNA sample to submit to CODIS and a very good chance of catching this guy. Phoebe had been right. The preliminary reports of the death indicated that it was highly unlikely a girl of her size could have hit and killed the man with the type of force that was used - she knew we knew it wasn't her, which was why she seemed so patient and undaunted by the process.

Phoebe was waiting for the BPD to get it together. But, why hadn't she just told Jane all of this in the first place? Why did she sit there for all that time and not respond? Why was she so matter of fact in describing a brutal violent act that she had witnessed? She was obviously upset about what she had seen, but not hysterical or emotional, she acted as though it was something that hadn't really surprised her. Each question the girl answered only seemed to spawn a dozen new confusing mysteries.

"Phoebe... do you think you could describe the assailant to a sketch artist?"

"Yes."

Maura turned to address Jane. "She needs a break Jane. We need to get her something to eat and let her rest a bit. We can call Cooper in to make a drawing after she's eaten."

Jane was somewhat relieved that Maura was using her name again instead of the formal "Detective", which made her wince every time she heard her say the word. It felt like a tiny knife being stuck inside her heart. Jane knew she deserved much worse from Maura.

God that kid was strange. What she had said earlier. 'You should just tell how you feel instead of hurting her so bad.' God, how could that kid know the things she knew? Phoebe had been in the room with she and Maura for less then five minutes and had read the underlying tension between them...and quite possibly the reasons.

She shuddered with the thought of spending any more time with this girl. She didn't want to be exposed. And Jane knew, somehow...this Phoebe saw inside her soul. She didn't want to know how?, or even why?, she just wanted to take the rest of her statement and get Social Services over here to deal with her. Phoebe was right after all. Jane did not believe she had committed the murder. Jane, in fact, believed every single word that Phoebe uttered. Every freaking thing... and that was very frightening.

"Okay Maur-, I'll go call Cooper. Do you mind setting Phoebe up in the lounge in the back? And getting her something to eat?" Jane's tone was soft and gentle without the underlyng hostility and tension. She felt relieved and very sad. Sad that she had let this situation get so out of hand. And ashamed. She had hurt Maura. Just as Phoebe said. God, she hoped that Maura could forgive her.

Instead of answering Jane directly, Maura stood up and reached across the table for Phoebe's hand. And to Jane's astonishment Phoebe clasped her hand with Maura's, intertwining their fingers. They headed for the door like two best friends on the playground at recess - hand in hand. Maura looked over her shoulder at Jane and said:

" We'll be in the cafeteria Jane, and later in the lounge. You need to call a lawyer for her. We shouldn't have been questioning her without a representative."

"I know." Was all that Jane could muster. She watched the easy closeness that Maura shared with the girl and felt a pang of what? Jealousy? Maura was so warm and kind and beautiful. And... Jane had ruined that for herself. Yes... it was jealousy.

Just as they were exiting the door, Phoebe looked over her shoulder to glance at Jane as they were leaving. She turned to Maura and whispered softly.

"She doesn't like you holding my hand. She's jealous."

**To Be Continued**

_Thanks a bunch to those of you who reviewed. The chapters will come out faster if I know there is an interest in the story._


	3. The Heart Reader

**I Can Feel Your Heart Beat. III**

**Rizzoli & Isles**

**Pairing: Jane Rizzoli/Maura Isles**

**Author: myIllusion**

**Rating: R for later chapters**

**Disclaimer: I do not own the characters-no copyright infringement intended.  
**

**Chapter III "The Heart Reader"**

_Okay... so... lots of talking and processing in this chapter. This helps explain Jane a little and also Phoebe._

**Maura and Phoebe**

"Have you ever seen the stump of a big tree after it's been cut down Maura?"

"Yes."

"So...you see all those little rings that go out from the center. Each ring represents a year in the life of that tree. The people who study the rings can tell which years were harder on the trees and which years were good. If there was a drought the scientists who...-"

"Dendrochronologists"

Maura inserted helpfully, but then she silently scolded herself for interrupting the interesting girl.

Phoebe laughed. "Yes Maura, that is what the people who study tree rings are called...it's okay that you blurted it out... I know you can't help yourself. I could feel how excited you were getting trying to hold it in."

Maura smiled at the girl. For the first time in her life Maura had met someone who was more disconcerting than herself. She felt extremely comfortable with the teenager. She didn't feel a need to filter her thoughts nor edit her words when speaking to Phoebe.

They had gotten their lunch to go from the cafeteria and were eating it together in the "lounge," which was really just a more comfortable holding room for suspects who really weren't suspects. People the Boston Police Department really didn't want to let out of their custody until they were forced to do so by a lawyer.

Phoebe opted for a salad and a slice of Cheese Pizza. Maura went for the salad and a cup of coffee. She wasn't really that hungry but wanted Phoebe to have some company while she ate. The girl didn't make an issue out her lunch choice but Maura suspected that she was a vegetarian. She had been very happy to see the Cheese Pizza along side all the other meat topped choices.

Maura asked Phoebe if she could explain her ability to "feel" things? Like how she knew that Maura was bursting with the need to say "Dendrochronologists,"- like how could she feel that a man's life had stopped?, or how she knew when someone was looking at her through the barrier of a wall? How did she know that someone happened to be female?

When the girl started to talk about tree rings Maura was concerned that Phoebe had misunderstood her question. Before she could repeat herself Phoebe held up her hand like an officer in a cross walk. Stop.

"Let me explain this my way Maura...this isn't something that is easy to understand and I'm the only one who understands what I do...so... do you trust me Maura?"

"Of course." And Maura nodded emphatically to reassure the girl.

They finished eating their lunch and relaxed on the sofa in the lounge together. Both of them removed their shoes, each taking an end of the couch facing one another with their feet and legs intertwined. The ease at which the two were comfortable with one another made Maura feel incredibly happy. She had never felt so comfortable with a person she had just met before... except for Jane.

"Anyway," Phoebe proceeded, " You can tell the age of the tree by those rings, the health of the tree and how much it grew, you can tell if there was a bad drought, or if it had lots of rain - lots of different stuff about a tree that was well over a hundred years old - just by studying the little rings inside the trunk."

Maura silently nodded her agreement, Dendrochronology had been an recognized field of study for quite some time.

" I read the rings in peoples hearts Maura. "

"But that can't be possible Phoebe, first of all the heart musc...-"

And Phoebe stopped her with her hand again. She blew a puff of hair at her bangs in frustration but didn't really show any true irritation... more of a wry amusement at Maura's inability to remain calm in the midst of an intellectual puzzle.

"You said you trusted me Maura... you have to let me finish... when I'm all done talking then you can challenge what I have to say."

"I'm sorry Phoebe you're right... I will hold my thoughts until you finish. Please continue."

And Maura sat back against the arm of the sofa and willed herself to contain the myriad of buzzing thoughts and questions that this girl evoked.

"Have you ever spent a day inside a house where the electricity is turned off... say...because of a power failure or work was being done and the power had to be cut off.?"

"Yes."

"Do you remember how you felt when the power was turned back on? Did you feel anything?"

Maura thought about the question curiously, she closed her eyes to focus on the memory of when the men had re-wired her kitchen. The power had been off all day long to her frustration... it had been early evening before the workmen had turned it back on and... yes, she remembered. A hum. A vibration in the walls. She could feel it the instant the electricity had come back on. She had never really thought about electricity this way. Every building and home you went into had electricity... that hum, that vibration was something one got used to. You took it for granted. Except, of course, when you were outside. No wonder why being out doors always made Maura feel so much more relaxed, and cleaner, fresher somehow.

Phoebe was watching her process these thoughts with a smile on her face before she continued.

"You actually feel the electricity and the electromagnetic field it generates. You generate an electromagnetic field and therefore are sensitive to other electromagnetic fields around you. Your heart beats because electrical impulses contract and pump the blood to the rest of the body. I know you know all of this already Maura... you are a Doctor after all."

"Now...imagine being able to feel, not only your own heart beating inside your chest but also the heartbeat of every other person in a crowded room with you? Not only can you feel these separate heart beats, you can sense each individual rhythm, the rate, and even the health of each individual heart. You can tell if someone is excited, or frightened, or angry. You can tell if someone is sad, or confused or just very calm and relaxed."

Maura was getting overwhelmed by what the girl was saying, she was having a hard time keeping her questions and protests from spewing out of her mouth. The girl was actually saying she could sense how other people felt by listening...no feeling how their heart beat?

"Did you know that dogs and horses have this abiltiy Maura?" "Did you ever wonder why some dogs will bark at certain strangers and run up to others wagging their tails. Dogs can tell if a person is a danger to them by sensing their level of excitement in the level of their heart beat. They can tell the same if a person is kind and gentle. Horses are the same. Training dogs and horses is an art form and it takes people with very special abilities to really be good at it. They call these people "Whisperers" because the animals can sense that same ability and feel safe, and therefore have trust in their trainers."

"All of this... I'm... um... not doing a very good job of explaining Maura... but I know what I do isn't normal. I was born this way. Ever since I was a baby I could always sense what people felt, what they intended and whether they were safe for me to be around or not. The thing I feel most is the beating of their heart, but over the years I've been able to distinguish the types of distress related to the types of emotions or situations people find themselves in. In other words Muara. I can feel your heartbeat. I can read your feelings by the rhythms that it makes. I can do that with everyone I meet."

"I could tell you were standing behind that wall the moment you walked into the room. The electromagnetic field of each human is varied. The electrical impulse of each heart is varied. If people are having more emotions or intense emotions I can feel that more than if someone is calm."

"Detective Rizzoli felt the same thing the moment you walked into that room Maura. I felt her feel your presence... she was unaware that she was feeling you... I think...until I said I wanted to speak to the person behind that wall."

Phoebe stopped speaking for a moment to let Maura digest some of what she was saying.

"I don't think I know what you mean... that Jane felt me.?"

"Do you recall how fast she bolted out of that chair?... She knew it was you Maura and she raced out of that room to catch you. She wanted to catch you."

Maura was shaking her head in confusion, still not getting what Phobe was trying to tell her. Jane had been angry...and insulting...

"Maura look at me." Phoebe commanded.

And Maura did.

"Detective Rizzoli is madly in love with you. I know there is some conflict, some barrier that has gone up between you... but I have read a lot of hearts in my time, Maura and I don't think I've ever felt anything as intense as what... Detective Rizzoli feels for you. "

Maura's coloring had gone a little pale at first and then she flushed pink. Her hazel eyes turned - they became more green and Phoebe could feel her emotions, feel her heartbeat, the rhythm and the pace a heart made when it was excited. Happy excited. Relieved excited. Aroused excited.

Years and years of trial and error, years and years of watching, studying people in all their phases of feelings had taught Phoebe how to know what others felt. And she knew...that as much as Detective Jane Rizzoli was in love with Dr. Maura Isles. Maura was just as much in love with Jane.

Phoebe moved from her end of the sofa, she pushed Maura's legs aside so she could sit down next to her. She took Maura's hand and held it gently, before she finished what she had to tell her.

"Maura, something happened to...Jane." She used the Detective's first name because that was how Maura called her. "Something a long time ago...I ...don't know what it is, of course, but it left its mark on Jane's heart. Kind of like the tree rings, she had a very bad drought one year. Whatever it was that hurt her... I think it's why she's been so mean to you."

"What she feels for you is somehow wrapped up in that pain she had a long time ago."

Maura's eyes had filled, the tears hadn't started to spill yet, but Phoebe knew they would, which is why she had moved to hold her hand.

" I know Jane hurt you Maura but she loves you. She also knows how wrong she's been and is going to try and apologize to you. I could feel it when we left before. Sometimes having a person tell you what a jerk you're being is the only way to get through to them. She didn't like what I said to her but it got through to her Maura. "

"So, I'm supposed to just forget how cruel she's been to me because you tell me you can "feel" how much she loves me? I don't even know what that means Phoebe? Are you saying Jane is in love with me like...like as in a lover?"

"Yes Maura, and you know this yourself... you may not have identified it for yourself with a label but you feel it too. I know you do. You can think of me as a living breathing lie detector because that is pretty much what I am. And Maura, you are in love with Jane as much as she is in love with you. Why do you think it hurt you so much?"

The tears were streaming now and Phoebe could feel the utter relief, the release of pent up grief pouring out of Maura. She put her arm around Maura's shoulder, pulling her into a hug. And Maura wept.

God people were dumb with their pain. She was mad at Detective Rizzoli for hurting Maura so bad. Maura was such a beautiful person inside and out and deserved to be loved by someone who would appreciate that beauty. She would help the stupid Detective because she could feel it was what Maura wanted.

And just as Phoebe completed that last thought Jane burst into the lounge to interrupt their gentle moment.

"We've got another body Maur-" And she stopped dead in her tracks, taking the scene in. Phoebe with her arm around Maura and Maura crying into her shoulder. Her nostrils flared, she ran her fingers through her raven wavy tresses and she didn't know what to do. She felt all crazy inside, and jealous again...of this teenage kid who was holding Maura.

Phoebe saved the moment for her.

"It's okay Detective Rizolli, Maura and I were just sharing some feelings and she will be alright."

At the same time Maura sniffled, lifted her head to look at Jane and nodded. She even smiled a little. Jane had not seen that kind of open look from Maura in a very long time. It was totally her own fault, she knew, but still, it felt good to have Maura look at her with something other than sadness and frustration.

"I'm sorry Maura... but we have a body... I want you to take this one. I think we have...um, sorry Phoebe but I don't think I should be talking about this in front of you."

"You have another dead gay man don't you?" Phoebe stated bluntly and she nodded to herself before Jane could even sputter a denial. " I could sense that man was just getting started. He liked what he had done too much the first time."

Jane could only stare at the girl with her mouth hanging open for a minute. Whatever this kid had, mind reading or whatever...was really irritating and... unique. A gift really. She found herself wishing she could take the kid with her to get her insights on the case but quickly dismissed the idea as crazy. And, as though she had read her mind - Phoebe softly asked:

"Could I come with you Detective Rizzoli? Maybe I could see something or feel something to help you."

"No." But it was Maura who spoke. "Phoebe, I don't want you exposed to this. You have already been exposed to this ugliness once, and then that long interview with Jane, and then having to watch me cry...God you are just a child still... "

"No Maura, I'm not... I'm old enough to make my own decisions. Honest."

Jane was looking at the girl speculatively, wondering how much truth the girl was capable of telling. She was certainly good at spotting the secrets that others held but Jane wondered what secrets Phoebe was keeping.

"How about if we let her ride along Maura? We won't let her out of the car, but this way she can come with us and we can keep our eye on her. I don't want Social Services to have her just yet."

And Maura surprised them both with her next statement.

"She's not going with Social Services Jane, she is coming home with me... and you are going to set that up for me - after we finish at this next crime scene."

And with that said, Muara slipped into her heels and clattered out of the room in front of the stunned Detective and the smiling teenager.

**To Be Continued.**

_Thank you all for the many reviews. I'll keep churning out the chapters as long as I know there is still an interest. Thanks again!_


	4. Confrontations

**I Can Feel Your Heart Beat.**

**Rizzoli & Isles**

**Pairing: Jane Rizzoli/Maura Isles**

**Author: myIllusion**

**Rating: R for later chapters**

_Disclaimer: I do not own the characters-no copyright infringement intended._

**Chapter IV "Confrontations"**

**Ride Along**

The young man had fallen forward - landing front side down, his head was turned at an awkward angle facing up; as though to get one last look at whoever it was that had surprised him so unexpectedly. His hair was dusty blonde, his skin was smooth and tinted bronze and his eyes were crystal blue. They stared up at Jane with an empty hollow vacancy - a gaze that, even in its emptiness, its absence of a spark; begged the need to ask a question. Why?

Jane sighed, she would never become immune to that hollow eyed plea. No matter how many homicide cases she had worked - that last moment, that frozen stare; compelled her more than any other aspect of a case to seek the answer to that question. Why? To find justice and hopefully some sense of closure, if not peace for every victims family.

The scene was cordoned off but there were still people back behind the barrier, curious onlookers. There was always a handful of ghoulishly nosey people who wanted to see the grisly details. And, of course, the reporters. Every homicide scene seemed to attract a mob of the oddest sorts of people. Jane had Frankie taking pictures of the crowd, hoping that the creep who did this had come back to admire his work in the presence of an audience. There were four other uniformed officers dispersed about the scene, keeping the crowd back.

Frost was with Maura taking the pertinent notes he and Jane would need from the Medical Examiner. Jane was standing fifteen feet away from them, taking in the scene as a whole - she shook her head in frustration at herself. If this had been two months ago, she and Maura would be sharing a good natured banter about "Reddish Brown Stains," and arguing about whether the guy was bludgeoned to death by that length of three foot two by four - even though it was blatantly apparent. Maura would never speculate about cause of death. Jane chuckled to herself, thinking of all the times she had intentionally tweaked the Medical Examiner just to get her to exclaim.

"I will not speculate on cause of death Jane."

But Jane had caused this impasse between she and Maura and she would have to fix it. So, for now, she allowed Barry to work with the Medical Examiner because she hadn't had the courage to insert herself today. Whatever the girl had done to Maura seemed to work a miracle for Jane. She didn't want to spoil it by pushing too hard too fast.

On the ride over Maura and Phoebe chatted pleasantly to one another in the back seat while she drove. Frost sat in the front passenger seat looking confused but somewhat relieved. Barry had been distressed by the unspoken, un-talked about tensions that surrounded Jane and Maura. The fact that Dr. Isles had agreed to ride with them was a sign that something changed and Jane could see the relief in her partners eyes.

Phoebe was a mystery to Jane. A unique and troubling, but very interesting teenager. Perhaps the most enigmatic person that Jane had ever met. Tug. Tug, tug, tug.

As if on cue, the dark haired enigma was tugging on her sleeve. Phoebe was supposed to be waiting in the car. Jane felt a surge of anger bubble up that the girl had ignored her very specific instructions - especially because Maura didn't want the girl exposed to any more trauma. Jane didn't either but she didn't want Maura blaming her for th..-

"He's here." Phoebe whispered.

Jane glared at the teenager with open frustration before processing what she had said.

"Who's here Phoebe? And I told you to stay in the car."

"Him...I can feel him over there. He's hiding behind that guy in the trench coat with the newspaper."

Her dark eyes were pleading with Jane to get a clue and she jerked her head in the direction of the barrier just six feet away from where Jane was standing.

Jane looked over to see a tall man wearing a dark brown trench coat, holding a folded newspaper in the crook of his arm. Just behind this man another tall man stood using the other as a shield to spy behind. Finally, it dawned on her. Phoebe nodded and arched her eyebrows, as if to say "duh!"

"Okay Phoebe." Jane spoke very quietly, calmly. "I want you to go back to the car, slowly - don't rush and don't look over your shoulder... lock the doors when you get inside okay?"

Phoebe sighed but softly echoed Jane's request. "Okay." She turned around and casually strode back towards the car. She made one mistake. She glanced toward the crowd again, to look toward the killer and he saw her. And Jane saw him. In that moment, that split second of awareness the killer knew that Phoebe marked him and he fled.

Jane yelled over her shoulder before she took off running. "Get to the car Phoebe." She charged into the crowd, shoving the onlookers out of her way, screaming at some of them to - "stop that guy." The shadowy figure was very fast and cleared the crowd before anyone had a clue as to what was happening. He was half way down the street and making for the corner before Jane could really get her speed up.

Barry and Frankie were right behind her, all three of them shouting: "Stop, Police." To no avail. The guy was gone. He'd had an escape route planned, which became apparent when Jane made it to the corner of a very busy Franklin Street. The guy had melted into the crowded sidewalk, or slipped into a shop, or hopped into a cab but Jane knew he was gone. She hadn't even gotten a good look at him, except from behind.

But Phoebe had seen him twice already. This guy hadn't known that Phoebe had seen him at the first scene. Oh Christ. Maura was going to be so mad at her. That asshole saw Phoebe just now... oh fuck.

Barry and Frankie were huffing and puffing when they caught up to Jane, who had stopped to kick a rolling soda can, and swear.

"Fuck. Goddamn fuck. He was right there. We had him and I was too dumb to pay attention to that kid. She knew he was there and she told me but I was too slow. Damn."

Barry was wiping his brow with the sleeve of his expensive suit and Frankie was checking out his camera. He had slung it over his back with the strap before taking off after Jane and it took a bouncing beating on the run. They were all panting heavily and gasping for breath. Jane looked at the worry on her brothers face while he was playing with the camera.

"I sure hope you got some pictures of him Frankie."

"Jane, what do you mean about the kid? Phoebe? How did she know he was there?" Barry asked as the three of them headed back to the scene.

"I'll tell you when we get back there Barry," and she started running again - back toward the scene. She wanted to make sure that Phoebe was safe in that car before she took the time to explain the complications.

**Maura, Jane, and Phoebe and Jo Friday.**

The three of them were seated in Maura's living room. Awkwardly. Maura and Phoebe were side by side on the sofa, while Jane was sitting stiffly in one of the comfortable arm chairs. Jo Friday was happily settled in Phoebes lap, her little tail wiggling back and forth. Phoebe was dressed in blue silk pajamas that Maura provided. She looked even younger wearing that soft color in contrast to all the black she'd had on.

Jane had done what Maura asked, but it had been accomplished in a manner that Maura had not anticipated. She now had two officers in an unmarked car outside her home as part of the team that was assigned to protect Phoebe. Jane had designated herself as the inside officer at the newly formed "Safe House." Maura's home was being used as Phoebe's witness protection shelter.

The whole thing was completely unorthodox but Maura insisted that Jane make it happen. And Jane had followed through, but had also done some insisting of her own. Jane would stay with Maura and Phoebe during the duration of this case. That was a prerequisite of the conditions Jane had offered Maura, else they would have taken Phoebe away to some anonymous dwelling.

Phoebe was enjoying herself. She was so happy to be at Maura's home. She knew she was supposed to be here, in this house with Maura and Jane. She knew things could be worked out between these interesting women. And she knew that she could help them. This tension that she felt right now. This anxiety that pulsed throughout the room, would soon be gone away.

She scratched Jo Friday behind the ear, bent over to whisper something to her and then stood up to make an announcement. Still holding the little terrier in her arms she glanced at both women to make sure they were paying attention.

"Me and Jo are going to go to bed now. You two should start your talk. It's probably going to take a while. You won't finish it tonight I'm sure." She turned to Jane and directed her specifically.

"The first thing you need to say to Maura...Detec..-" And then she stopped to correct herself.

"The first thing you need to say Jane: is that you are sorry. The second thing... is that you won't do it again. And the third thing... is that you love her."

And then she turned to Maura.

"You need to let her say these things Maura, you can still be hurt... that won't go away for awhile, but the only way your heart can heal is... if you let it."

She walked over and placed a kiss on Maura's cheek, she winked at Jane and then she wandered down the hallway and into her bedroom. Maura told her. "This is your bedroom now Phoebe for as long as you want it to be." Phoebe's heart filled up with the memory. She put Jo down on the bed and whispered to her.

"What side of the bed do you want Jo? you pick."

Jo Friday wiggled her tail and ran up to flop herself down on a pillow, which was on the right side of the bed. Phoebe laughed and climbed in beside the dog.

**Jane and Maura**

Jane didn't know why she was shocked from her toes to her eyebrows by Phoebe's blunt statement, but she was. The girl had, after all, been making these candid statements from that moment she decided to open her mouth in the interrogation room.

Blast her. She had left Jane absolutely no wiggle room at all. Jane was hoping to be able to ease into this conversation with Maura. Start out with the apology for sure, and hope Maura would listen to her and they could work on things slowly. But christ, that freaking girl had it in for her. Just rip the whole fucking scab off all at once.(silent thoughts)

She was staring at her lap and squirming in the chair, realizing she hadn't looked at Maura since the girl had left the room. What the fuck. Phoebe was right after all, be a grown-up Jane. She forced herself to look at Maura who was watching her intently.

Two large round, incredibly beautiful eyes - mostly green this evening, were watching her with hope and shimmering with fear. Oh God. I did that. She's still afraid I'll hurt her more than I already have.

She lunged out of the chair and knelt down on the floor in front of Maura. Grasping Maura's hands in hers and squeezing them, trying to put reassurance and warmth into the touch. She gazed into her friends eyes, her gorgeous beautiful friend that she had hurt so much and she felt her heart shudder and wrench within her chest.

For the first time in many, many years she could feel her heartbeat. She could feel a powerful force, like a river rush in, surging and urging - you're alive now... really alive...can you feel it? Tears were trickling down her cheeks in silent streams, her body flushed with warmth and sweat before she finally spoke the words that mattered most. Her voice was husky low and cracking with emotion.

" I love you Maura... I love you so much... I'm so sorry,... I won't ever do it again, I will never push you away... never again... I'm so sorry, oh God... I'm so sorry that I hurt you... I love you Maur...-" " Please...please say that you... God Maura, I know I'm asking so much... but please... will you try... please try... please forgive me?...I love you so much..."

Somehow her head and face were buried in Maura's lap and she was sobbing. Maura's hands were gently stroking her hair, her warm soft tender hands were stroking her head and she could hear the muffled gasps of Maura's grief as well.

Maura, gently tilted Jane's head out of her lap, forcing her to look her in the eyes by placing her hands on either side of her face. Two pools of chocolate, deep and rich and pure returned her gaze. Leaking tears. So vulnerable, and filled with fear and shame and... a tenderness that Maura had never seen before.

Maura couldn't say no. As much as a small part of her, the part that still reeled with hurt and betrayal and confusion. That part was shrieking with indignation. You can't let her cry in your lap and beg like a puppy. She did more than pee on the floor Maura. She trampled your heart wearing big heavy boots to do it... and she waltzes in here and says 'I'm sorry' and it's just supposed to fix everything? No...no...nononono..no...n...

...it's a start... she told that part, that angry part of herself...it's a start... so...yes. I will forgive her tonight. We'll see what tomorrow brings. Phoebe had said it wouldn't heal overnight... but she already knew that. She couldn't heal unless she let herself. And letting Jane, like Phoebe said,... letting Jane try...and letting Jane become a part of her life again was what she really wanted.

Jane was watching, waiting for Maura to say something, holding onto that whirling green gaze as though it were a life line. Maura was drowning in tender orbs of chocolate brown, sinking slowly... melting.

Maura leaned forward, ever so slowly; salty streaming tears had wet her lips - she licked them once before she pressed them onto Jane's forehead. Soft and gentle - once, twice, thrice. Once for sorrow, once for forgiveness, and once for love. She shifted to Jane's cheek and left another tender trail, little butterfly impressions - like fluttering wings caressing as they grazed across the line of Jane's jaw.

And then she sought Jane's mouth.

**To Be Continued. **

_Thanks again for the many reviews. I'll do my best to keep you interested._


	5. Together

**I Can Feel Your Heart Beat.**

**Rizzoli & Isles**

**Pairing: Jane Rizzoli/Maura Isles**

**Author: myIllusion**

**Rating: R for later chapters**

_Disclaimer: I do not own the characters-no copyright infringement intended._

_Some of you expressed the desire to know exactly what it was that caused Jane to hurt Maura. Or, to know what it was that hurt Jane in the past. Those details will be told eventually in the story... I'm going to give them out in bits and pieces while I move the mystery of the plot along. The same thing goes for Phoebe, more about her life will be revealed as the three of them move forward through this case and live within Maura's "Safe House."_

_I'll thank you now for your patience. Those of you who do not like to read sex scenes between women may want to give this chapter a pass... and wait for the next update... you won't miss any of the plot. All of this chapter is about Jane and Maura getting close and becoming lovers. Fair warning - this is where the M begins. The plot will move forward in the next chapter._

**Chapter V " Together "**

**Jane and Maura**

Her lips were so soft and the pressure so delicate and lingering that Maura lost track of her identity. She felt the subtle texture of Jane's lips and tasted the tears that had mingled with her own. Hot, wet, salty... and soft soft lips createad a sensation she was not prepared for. The kiss was meant to be sweet...a gentle yes. Yes I will try to forgive you and yes we will work this out together.

And Jane was being good. She hadn't tried to own the kiss. She let Maura set the tone - the pressure, and she responded with a tender reassurance. But Maura felt this spark as their lips merged, a jolt of heat and energy that ran the length of her body and lingered in her center near her abdomen but was suddenly focusing a bit lower. Her mind was swimming with the sensations, she felt this visceral urge from deep within. Every cell and nerve was shaking with a need to expel the strange exciting energy which erupted all at once. She moaned against Jane's mouth and gasped at the intensity of her response.

All thought of restraint was lost. Jane's lips parted as Maura's tongue urged them open and began an exploration that had them both swooning. The kiss intensified, both feeling the surge of their emotions mingle with the exquisite sensations that their hot mouths and soft lips and silky stroking caresses of each others tongues created. The intensity of exchanged breath, intermingled their beings and each was lost within the other.

They parted gasping for breath. Pressing their foreheads together, breathing heavily searching one another's eyes for confirmation of what they each experienced. They stared intensely. Specks of swirling green pulsing with excitement and passion - met the chocolate charcoal gaze of unmasked desire.

"I was going to say we should wait... " Maura whispered.

Jane nodded and said. " Yes... of course Maur-, whatever you want..."

" No... Jane... I... ah.. Phoebe said that you loved me, and that you wanted me... but Jane I've never been with a woman... it never occurred to me before... but, Jane... I don't want to wait. I know we should talk before we..."

"Maura, sweetie... it's okay. I'm fine, you can wait as long as you want to... I'm so happy that you are willing to give me a chance to be in your life again... we don't have to rush into-"

"Shsssh, Jane." Maura placed her fingers over Jane's lips.

" I don't want to wait Jane. I want you... I want you now. Please Jane... I want you to make love with me."

Maura's eyes were so intense the pupils were huge and the green had completely taken over the amber gold that usually dominated her eye color.

Jane could only stare at the gorgeous woman who just spoke words she could never imagine Maura ever saying to her. In her deepest fantasies she hadn't allowed herself to think that Maura would actually want her. All she could do was nod her head yes, and offer an anxious smile - hoping Maura would take that as a yes. It was most certainly a yes. To make sure Maura understood she leaned in for another kiss. The sparks went flying all anew and their passion erupted with this new awareness of each other. Their bodies surged forward smashing together, arms embracing pulling each other closer, fusing themselves together until...

...Maura broke the kiss. She stood, pulling Jane up with her and taking her hand. They walked together hand in hand, two anxious lovers on a journey to someplace new and somewhat frightening but scary in the way that is exciting. Climbing the stairs to Maura's second floor, Jane was relieved that Maura's guest bedroom was downstairs. She may have told Maura no if she thought that Phoebe was just a room away.

Maura stood at the end of her bed and waited for Jane to undress her. Her body was so aroused that the effect had left her somewhat docile. Almost unable to function she wanted Jane to take over, to take her clothes off and touch her everywhere and to just take her.

Jane sensed that Maura was somewhat helpless in the wake of all the emotion, she put her arms around her waist and gently held her for a moment. She leaned in to kiss her cheek first and then her eyes, kissing the eyelids closed, and then her mouth softly at first but that electricity, that passion bloomed as soon as their lips touched and they both moaned.

"Please Jane... take my clothes off." Maura whispered into Jane's neck...

... which sent chills throughout Jane's body and lightning through her blood. She sensed the urgency in Maura's request and quickly did as she was asked. She un-tucked Maura's blouse from within the slacks she wore and starting from the top she struggled with the buttons. Her hands were shaking with anticipation and nerves.

Maura smiled. She was aware enough to help Jane unclasp each button. She leaned in to kiss Jane's neck and nip her softly with her teeth as the final button opened and Jane pulled the shirt away and off her shoulders. She was covered in goose flesh while Jane openly stared at her topless torso. The bra came off quickly, leaving Maura bare breasted and Jane in a motionless trance.

Moonlight shone through the window casting silvery shadows upon Maura's goddess like heavenly body. Her amber hair was strewn upon her shoulders, her round and fulsome breasts were perfect - the nipples tight and hard- she stood very still allowing Jane to soak up every detail, devouring her with her eyes until she could wait no longer.

"Touch me Jane."

And Jane's hands were suddenly upon her, gently cupping each breast, holding them gently in her palms to simply feel their weight. She stroked their fullness with her fingers, grazing over the nipples with her thumbs, causing the already swollen peaks to shudder and Maura threw her head back moaning out her pleasure. Jane's lips found her mouth again and kissed her deeply, before leaving a trail of nips and bites along her jaw and neck, descending ever so slowly until she tasted Maura's nipple with her tongue.

Jane circled the taut peak again and again, teasing slowly until she felt a hand gently pressing her head forward begging to please, please do something more. She pulled the hard nub into her mouth and nipped it gently with her teeth and Maura gasped. Sucking harder, nipping and circling with her tongue Jane worked both of Maura's breasts back and forth licking and squeezing and kissing and biting. Maura was panting and pressing Jane's face against her body, her hips thrust out involuntarily crashing into Jane's causing them both to shudder and moan. Jane could wait not longer...

...she unbuttoned Maura's slacks and quickly slid them down her legs, kneeling as she guided them to the floor. Jane clasped Maura's hips, pulling her forward, burying her face in Maura's panties - inhaling that first hint of spicy sexy musk. Maura moaned from up above and staggered with the pent up need from Jane's caresses. Jane tugged the last piece of lacy clothing down from Maura's body and lowered her to the bed. She quickly undressed herself, tossing her clothes aside. She turned around to see...

... Maura reclined on the bed, with one arm up, wrist and hand at rest across her brow, the other arm was lowered with her open hand upon her waist - she was watching, waiting for Jane to come to her. The full moon cast silver beams across the bed gently lighting Maura's glorious body. Jane was stunned into watching for just a moment. As though studying a painting by a master - she would never forget the beauty of this moment or the details of this image of her Maura painted silver by the moon.

"Jane."

She climbed onto the bed and onto Maura. There bodies sought each others empty spaces, pressing tightly- merging together - seeking to breach each others core. Jane gently slipped her knee between Maura's thighs, spreading her legs and pressing her hip into that hot wet center. She kissed across the swollen aching nipples that were begging to be teased. Maura pulled her upwards for a scorching kiss, a kiss that said I need you now...her tongue thrust in and out of Jane's mouth and her hips thrust against Jane's thigh, grinding begging for release. Jane could feel her own need pulsing between her legs and felt her wetness pooling. She slid her hand along the length of Maura's waist, slowly searching, slowly descending; all the while deepening their kiss...

...Jane's hand was like a flame that singed wherever it touched - surely steam was rising from her body. She was writhing beneath those hot touches and begging Jane to hurry. Those long strong fingers took their time. Her palm was pushing down against her swollen nub, while those fingers slid back and forth through intricate folds of swollen, silky, wet flesh. Back and forth she teased and teased until Maura's hips were pulsing up, thrusting against Jane's hand...

"... oh God... Jane...please Jane... take me ... please..."

...she pushed inside of Maura with two fingers, slowly at first...she was so wet and so ready and Jane knew that Maura would come fast this first time. She inserted a third finger and pushed in deeper, she clasped Maura's hips with her free hand pulling her close, guiding her into the thrusts and Jane increased her pace. She used her hips to push in deeper yet, curling her fingers inside and pushing hard and fast...

...oh God... yes... Jane... yes... Jane...YESssssssssssss.

Jane collapsed on top of Maura sweating and panting and kissing the trickling tears as they rolled in crooked paths down Maura's cheeks and all the while whispering.

" I love you, I love you... I love you Maura."

" Are you okay Maur- ?"

Maura wrapped her arms around Jane pulling her closer, squeezing her tight and breathing in heavy gasps.

"Yes... yes... Jane, I am so okay... "

And then she rolled Jane over and straddled her waist, sitting up to look down upon her lover.

"Thank you Jane... that was so beautiful... I had no idea how beautiful making love could be...I, ah... it was always just fucking to me before... I... I love you too... I always have."

Tears were spilling forth and she leaned back down to kiss Jane's mouth, deep and soft and tender - lingering. She placed her hand on Jane's sternum and felt her heart speed up. Her heart was pounding strong and fast and urgent. She smiled at Jane, a glorious smile and whispered...

..." I can feel your Heart Beat...

... and now its your turn."

**To Be Continued**

_Thanks again for the many reviews. I hope this tides you over until the next update, which won't be for a few more days. My J.O.B. is suddenly very busy and I will have to take a tiny break in writing. _


	6. Insights

**I Can Feel Your Heart Beat.**

**Rizzoli & Isles**

**Pairing: Jane Rizzoli/Maura Isles**

**Author: myIllusion**

**Rating: R for later chapters**

_Disclaimer: I do not own the characters-no copyright infringement intended._

_The case doesn't really move forward in this chapter but you get to find out more about Jane and what happened in her past._

**Chapter VI " Insights "**

**Phoebe**

Phoebe was awake. She found it hard to sleep with the virtual concert of rhythms and staccato heartbeats that were being played out in the upstairs bedroom. She smiled and whispered to Jo Friday, who's bushy brow was twitching with excitement as she stared at Phoebe from the pillow. The dog was curious too, and could sense that something different was happening upstairs with her person and her other favorite person - and now she had a new other favorite person.

"I think it's best that they get this part out of the way first Jo. Now they'll be able to think more clear when they have the real talk. All those wild feelings being pent up for so long were getting in the way. Maura couldn't even think like she's supposed to and Jane was just desperate. You'll see Jo, tomorrow they'll be a lot more calm... and nicer to each other too."

Hmm... this pattern is really interesting. The beats were wild and separate at first, but as they came close to reaching the finale they started to synchronize... Phoebe rarely heard two people match their rhythms and their rates as they came to the crest, the climax ... yes they were completely synchronized now and ... and... wowwww... they did it together. Pretty good for a first time. Well, it was their third time really. Maura went first and then Jane went second, but the third time they went at the same time and finished together. Good, I think they are falling asleep now - both of their heart rates are slowing down.

"Now maybe we can get some sleep too." She reached over and scratched Jo Friday behind the ears then leaned in to kiss her on the forehead. Jo wriggled her tail and closed her eyes.

"g'night Jo." Phoebe sighed happily and finally wandered in to sleep herself.

**Jane and Maura**

Maura was partially draped over Jane's body, her head nestled between Jane's breasts, her left arm was snug around her waist and her leg completely spanned the width of both toned thighs. The early morning sun burst through the window in blots and bright spurts of glaring golden warmth. Maura neglected to close the blinds and was therefore astonished by the overly bright excitement of the eager morning star.

She glanced up at Jane, who was still deeply under and snuggled back onto her chest smiling, yet uncertain. In the harsh brightness of the new day, a similar harsh reality swept in to cloud her thoughts. What now? She and Jane still needed to talk. As lovely as the evenings passion had been, and it was amazing, Maura felt uncertain. She loved Jane, she had loved Jane for quite some time but had not defined that love with a label or sequestered her feelings into a shape, or a box of any sort. She had been open and happy and fearless in her friendship with Jane. She needed to know why Jane had shut her out, and been so cruel in her manner. And she needed to know that she wouldn't do so again. And...

...Jane stirred before Maura could finish the rest of her silent reverie. Inhaling deeply and mumbling incoherently; Jane twitched and shuddered before her dark, thickly fringed eyelashes fluttered open, revealing the chocolate brown that had mesmerized Maura just hours ago. That gaze still held the same hypnotic appeal and evoked the same sensations. Maura's heart trembled and her skin dimpled with chills under Jane's sleepy eyed appraisal.

Jane smiled at her, then pulled her up and closer into a tight embrace before whispering,

"Good morning." She kissed her on the forehead first, and then softly on the lips before peering into cloudy hazel green; discovering a slightly worried, hesitant expression.

"Hey... are you okay? What's wrong Maur-?"

"I'm sorry." Maura shook her head back and forth, unable to come up with words for how she was feeling. Morning after regrets? No. Just very frightened still. Her body was calm in the aftermath of releasing the months of angst filled sadness and worry - and also the sexual tension, which she had only recently come to identify. However, she still had feelings of confusion, discord and hurt.

She leaned in to kiss Jane, wanting to reassure her before trying to articulate her thoughts. That electric spark attacked her lips - it was looming in the air and all around them still. She did not want to be pulled back under. Not yet. Sliding off of Jane, she grabbed some of the pillows and propped herself against the headboard, she tugged the tangled sheet to cover her naked waist and sat beside Jane. Her hair was completely tousled and she shoved it off her face, smoothing it back but not really caring how it looked. Reaching over she took Jane's hand, clasping it between her two, stroking the fingers and gently massaging the knotty scar inside its palm.

Jane winced. The scars on her hands were still very sensitive sometimes but it was the methodical way in which Maura had just prepared herself that made Jane nervous. God, is she going to tell me no? After last night? Is she going to say this was a mistake? I don't think I can handle this again, her stomach was starting to flip and a very familiar ancient pain was taking hold inside her chest. A tightness that squeezed and choked. Panic. Suddenly she wanted to run, she wanted to bolt like she had in the morgue on that day when Maura had cried. Maura's hand was squeezing tightly and tugging.

"Jane... Jane look at me."

Her eyes were almost charcoal black and filled with fright and panic. She looked like a wild creature trapped in a cage and ready to burst with aggression if only to protect itself. And Maura understood so very clearly in that moment, remembering what Phoebe said about Jane's past.

"I won't hurt you Jane...not ever... I won't run away, I won't reject you Jane... because I love you."

She pulled Jane's hand up to her mouth and tenderly kissed the scar inside her palm.

"I love you Jane." Maura repeated softly, and nodded her head for emphasis before she continued.

"Who hurt you Jane?... Please tell me now. Who hurt you so much?"

The buried memories oozed out like an oily goo bubbling from the fissured cracks in a dark and deserted barren landscape, a place she never visited.

_Kelsie. _

_Tall and fair haired with blue eyes and beautiful. Ma had called them Yin and Yang because she and Jane were so alike and and yet so different. Like the symbol, identically shaped but contrasting in color and moods. Jane was all fiery and hot and cocky while Kelsie had been calm and cool and reserved. And yet they made the best of friends. _

_At sixteen years old she and Kelsie had been the only girls in their district to be chosen. They had been best friends since junior high. The field hockey camp was a month long endeavor and the girls had never been away from home for such an extended period. The program was for elite young athletes in all of New England - most everyone who attended later received a scholarship._

_The schedule was brutal. Three hours of drill and skill in the morning, three hours of scrimmage in the afternoon and two hours of class in the evening. Jane and Kelsie had been assigned to different rooms but managed to talk another girl into switching places so they could be together. Each evening the halls were packed with shrieking teenagers playing pranks and silly games enjoying their free time before the ten o'clock curfew. _

_Sore and bruised each night Jane and Kelsie rubbed each others aches away. This was nothing new or strange to them. They had shared many sleep-overs back at home and were comfortable and affectionate with one another. Kelsie straddled Jane's hips as she rubbed and squeezed the tired aching muscles. Not being able to resist she began to tickle Jane in that spot just at the base of her ribs. A fight ensued which escalated into a wrestling match where Jane eventually ended up on top - pinning Kelsie flat to the bed with their faces inches apart. Breathing heavily, still giggling Jane was telling Kelsie to "give." And Kelsie did. She didn't give in - instead she raised her head and kissed Jane on the mouth, shocking them both._

_The kiss was sweet and innocent and short. They stared at one another, eyes widening with surprise but also curiosity and something else. A kind of excitement surged through Jane's body when their lips met. Not wanting the moment to get away from her or Kelsie to feel awkward or weird Jane bent down for another kiss. And then another, and another..._

_...the night was spent in fumbling explorations but filled with the passion of teenage love. After that, each evening when their class was finished they hid themselves in their room, choosing to spend their time exploring this new facet of their relationship rather than join the other girls who mingled in the corridors and played the silly games. _

_Their efforts in the camp declined with the lack of sleep and the obvious distraction of their feelings for each other. Jane was more overt in her affections and possessiveness. During their drills and scrimmages she couldn't keep her eyes off Kelsie. One particular day a huge girl, Becky (from the opposing team) intentionally crashed into Kelsie, knocking her to the ground. It was a cheap shot and the whistle blew to stop the play. One of the coaches was just about to chastise Becky when Jane charged in and tackled her to the ground. The scene was ugly. It ended with Jane being sent to the showers. As she was leaving the practice field she could hear Becky shouting at her back._

_"Rizzoli you big dyke, you should let your girlfriend fight her own battles." The girls around who heard the taunt laughed and the jeering followed Jane into the locker room._

_That night Kelsie came into their room and started packing her things. _

_"What are you doing Kel?" _

_"I'm moving down the hall, Janet's wrist is broken and she's going home...Stacy said I could room with her."_

_"What?... Why?" _

_"Oh come on Jane, after what you pulled today? You might not care if everyone thinks you're a dyke but I do...and... I... um...I'm not like that anyway..." _

_Kelsie wouldn't look at her she just kept shoving her stuff in her duffle bag, trying to get out of there as fast as she could. _

_Jane couldn't believe what she was hearing. All those nights together. Kelsie moaning under her caresses, begging Jane not to stop, whispering "I love you Jane." Kelsie's lips upon her body, Kelsie's tongue between her legs. She's not like that? _

_"Kelsie wait." And Jane's voice cracked with heartache. Kelsie was making for the door but Jane took two long strides and blocked her way, reaching out with her hands, her arms trying to get Kelsie to hold her, or at least to look at her._

_"No...get out of my way Jane." _

_"Kel... I love you...You said you loved me too."_

_Kelsie stared at the floor, her face was red with anger or shame, or embarrassment. She shook her head back and forth, almost violently before viciously, quietly stating:_

_"I don't Jane... I hate you... and I told them all you tried feel me up and if you don't get out of my way I'll tell the coach too... she'll kick you out of the program Jane. " _

_Kelsie was crying when she said this and so was Jane. Jane stepped out of her way allowing her to leave, slamming the door behind her._

_Jane knew Kelsie didn't mean it but she acted like she did. And Jane knew that Kelsie hadn't lied about what she told the other girls about them. It was her only way out of becoming a "dyke" like Jane. _

_The harassment continued the next day on the field, some of the girls were whispering "dyke" anytime Jane got near them and Kelsie played along - laughing at Jane and jeering with the rest of them. Christ Jane thought, they're all a bunch of dykes and just don't know it yet. Fuck them. That night Jane called her Ma and begged her to come and pick her up._

_Jane never spoke to Kelsie again and Kelsie hadn't tried. They avoided one another at school and moved on to new friends and new lives. Jane vowed, she would never allow herself to have that kind of friendship again. That closeness led to pain and heartache. Over the years she came to accept that she was gay but hid it very well. She dated men publicly but women privately. She would go out to clubs and pick up someone for a night or go away on a weekend but never allowed herself to get too close or become friends with any of these women. Until she met Maura._

Sitting side by side against the headboard holding hands, she told the tale to Maura in a calm unemotional voice, but when she was finished her eyes were filled with tears and her husky voice was filled with shaky quivers.

"I know it seems silly now Maur-, but until I met you that was really the only time I've ever been in love. It almost killed me. I never told a single person. Kelsie didn't either as far as I know because the rumors never made it back to school with us. I was suicidal for a year and my Ma took me to a shrink. I wouldn't tell her what was wrong but she knew it had to do with Kelsie. We had been attached at the hip until I begged my Ma to come and get me from that camp. "

Maura held and stroked Jane's hand while listening to her story, understanding much of how Jane must have felt. Her own teenage years had not been kind and she carried emotional scars of her own. She could see Jane in her minds eye. Young and beautiful and brave and in love. She wished she'd known her then and felt an irrational sense of jealousy over this vicious Kelsie person who no longer existed in real life for Jane.

"No Jane, it doesn't sound silly at all and I'm so sorry that happened to you. I wish I could hug your teenage self and tell her how much I love her and ease her pain... but will you settle for a hug for grown-up Jane?"

Jane opened her arms and Maura snuggled in, placing a soft kisses on Janes neck and collar bone before settling against her chest. Although Maura was relieved that Jane had finally explained some of her behavior she hadn't told it all. Phoebe said that Jane was mad at Maura; when they were in the interrogation room - mad about something specific.

"Jane...why were you angry with me? Why did you really push me away? I understand that you were having feelings for me and that you didn't want to form emotional attachments with women, but we've been close friends for a couple of years now. Why all of the sudden? What did I do to set you off?"

Jane sighed, she didn't really want to have this part of the discussion now. She felt incredibly relieved to have finally shared this past with someone. Especially Maura, but she didn't have the strength emotionally to tackle this next question now. She hoped that Maura would be willing to wait for the answer. Besides, they needed to get to work before this case got away from them. And they needed to finish questioning Phoebe. Everything had happened so fast and now her personal life was blowing into pieces.

"Maur-, I promise I will tell you about that too... but we don't have time right now. I think that conversation will take a little while... I promise I'll tell you everything, but can we do it later? This evening?"

Looking up to meet Jane's vulnerable dark eyed gaze, Maura saw the depth of her sincerity, and love... and trust. Her mind was racing with the complexity of what she felt for Jane and her body had no resistance to her charm. She could feel the flush run through her system, leaving her trembling with an uncontrollable arousal.

Very softly, "Okay... we'll finish this later Jane."

Was all that she could manage before Jane met her lips in a crushing kiss and their passion re-kindled anew. But Jane pulled away a moment later, panting; she gently rolled Maura off her body, leaving her hot and wet with need. Getting off the bed she headed to the shower explaining to Maura over her shoulder.

"We can't Maur-, we have got to get to work on this case. I should have been in an hour ago...and I have to take Phoebe with me. Are you going to be there for the rest of her interview?" Before she reached the bathroom door she noticed the look on Maura's frustrated face and turned back round.

Striding back to the bed, smiling, she leaned back down to press a tender kiss upon her brow, she whispered,

"I want you all the time Maur- , I have for quite awhile now... and I love you. Tonight... I promise to tell you the rest... and I promise to finish what I just started...okay?"

Sigh. "Okay."

**Phoebe, Jane and Maura**

Phoebe smiled as Maura and Jane descended the stairway together. They were much better, she knew they would be. She had found some granola cereal in the fridge and had helped herself to a bowl. Sitting at the counter island, spinning on a stool she greeted them.

"Good morning." And flashed them a smile that said I know what you've been doing, before continuing to deliver the news.

"I already took Jo Friday out for a walk but I couldn't find her food. And Maura, I gave Bass some strawberries and some lettuce. Jo didn't think that was very fair Jane, so you better feed her coz she's kind of confused at me and I don't want her to not like me. And I made some coffee but I don't know if it's any good. I know you like a lot of coffee Jane."

Jane smiled at the girl, she couldn't help but be charmed by her concerns. She was back in black today and Jane realized they knew absolutely nothing about her. She didn't have any other clothes than what she had been wearing. The only real piece of personal information they managed to extract had been her name. And Jane wondered if that was even real. She went over to the coffee pot and poured herself a cup.

"Phoebe, you shouldn't have gone out without telling us. Even with the guys outside we don't want to take any chances with your safety...next time come and get me and I'll go outside with you."

"You were kinda busy and I didn't want to interrupt." Phoebe sulked a bit at Jane's bossy authority.

Jane flushed at Phoebe's statement about them being "busy" and saw a little smirk emerging from the girls mouth. Christ, had that kid heard them from all the way downstairs? Maura was kind of a screamer but she had toned it down after the first time.

But Maura was having none of the games that Jane and Phoebe were playing with one another.

"Phoebe could you hear us last night? or could you feel us?"

Jane choked on the sip of coffee she had tried to swallow, but before she could form a protest Phoebe answered without a hitch, nor did she seem uncomfortable with the question.

"Oh, I could feel it. I couldn't hear all the way downstairs. Jo could feel it too. I'm glad you got that part out of the way so you could talk normal with each other and not have to deal with all those pent up chemicals swimming around. Your heart is a lot better now Jane. That old hurt seems lots smaller now. Yours too Maura... but she didn't tell you everything yet did she?"

She slurped a big spoonful of granola into her mouth before flashing that grin at Jane again. The little twerp was enjoying herself, while Maura shook her head and said "no" to that last part.

Jane could only sputter at first. Was nothing private with this child around? What the fuck was going on ? And Maura just acted as though they were talking about whether it would rain today or tomorrow. Before she could get herself together to confront the girl, Maura was softly addressing the issue in a much calmer manner than Jane would have handled it.

"Phoebe, did it make you uncomfortable... what you felt? I'm very sorry if it did...Jane and I ...ah-"

"No." Phoebe was spinning back and forth on the bar stool this whole while, but stopped herself to answer Maura's question.

"I can't help it Maura. It's better if I'm outside for some reason, but if I'm inside a house or a very big room, I can feel what everyone is feeling. But it's not like I get pictures in my mind or anything... don't worry about that. It's more like how a deaf person can feel vibrations, but much more intense."

I've felt those types of rhythms hundreds of times Maura...Jane. Please don't feel embarrassed, or that I was trying to invade... I really don't know how to turn it off. And, it's so much more pleasant to feel when people love each other than when they don't...um... so, no... Maura it did not make me uncomfortable and I'm sorry ... I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable Jane."

The girl was getting upset and Jane could tell what worried her. She was looking at Jane and sensed how disturbing this revelation had been for her. Phoebe thought that Jane would make her leave. She shook her head at the girl and walked over to her.

"Phoebe" Her voice was calm and gentle. "You don't have to worry about a thing. Maura said this is your house now, and it is. I am just a guest here for now. And you know what? I owe you my thanks. If you hadn't said those things you said to me yesterday... I would have lost Maura. I don't understand your gift at all... but I am really grateful that you have it."

And with that said, Jane reached out to gently wipe a tear off of the girls cheek, before pulling her into a heartfelt hug. Maura had inched closer while Jane was talking and merged herself into their tight embrace.

**To Be Continued**

_My work is really busy but I'll try to keep the updates flowing. _

_Remember: Interest + Reviews = Faster Chapters. _

_Thanks again to those of you who have left me a note of encouragement. Good or bad I'd like to know what you think... your comments will help me do a better job of writing._


	7. Phoebe

**I Can Feel Your Heart Beat.**

**Rizzoli & Isles**

**Pairing: Jane Rizzoli/Maura Isles**

**Author: myIllusion**

**Rating: R for later chapters**

_Disclaimer: I do not own the characters-no copyright infringement intended._

_This is a short chapter do to the holiday and other interruptions... I will get to Jane and Maura and more of the case in the next chapter... and more Phoebe._

**Chapter VII " Phoebe "**

**Phoebe, Jane, Maura, Barry Frost, Mimi (Phoebe's lawyer)**

"I think he's like a fanatic... or what's the other word people use for religious people who are kind of crazy?"

"Zealot." Maura provided helpfully.

Phoebe nodded emphatically, before she continued.

She was wearing a new pair of "lucky you" blue jeans and a black tee shirt with cap sleeves, her black wrist bands and her Doc Martin boots. To Jane's dismay and frustration, Maura had taken her shopping before proceeding to the station to continue the interview regarding the recent murders of gay men.

" I could tell when he was done hitting the man, just before he spit on him that he felt this excitement. The kind of excitement that people get when they have done something right... or really good. Then he decided to spit... I think to say...like that is what I leave with you...almost like a blessing - but a mean one. "

Phoebe paused for a minute and Maura was about to say something to her but Jane placed her hand on her forearm to stop her from interrupting. Jane had done this too many times to know that when someone was giving details in an interview, they needed to process in stages. She didn't want Maura to interfere with Phoebe's process.

" I wasn't very far away from him so I could see really good and also feel what he was feeling because he was so proud. When I say he was mean...I... um... like that act of spitting for him was like you aren't a real person so that's the only type of acknowledgement you deserve."

And Phoebe nodded to herself, she blew a puff of hair at her bangs and shifted in her seat before looking around the table to see what the adults looked like. She knew what they were feeling but she liked the confirmation she could get by looking in their eyes and seeing their body language.

Jane was thoughtful and believed everything she was saying without a doubt and Phoebe felt a little warm something run through her body. She liked having the Detective's approval now that Jane didn't seem to be so wary of her. Jane was still irritable and crabby, but not at Phoebe any more. She could tell that Jane just wanted to have the time she needed to fix stuff with Maura and this murder case was getting in her way. Phoebe decided, in that moment, that she really wanted to do whatever she could to help Jane catch this guy if it could smooth things out for Maura. She and Jane had one good thing in common. They both wanted to make Maura happy.

Barry was skeptical and Phoebe enjoyed this part. They always started out skeptical until she started telling them how they felt. Then they denied everything she said, but their eyes got real big and they couldn't stop staring at her but would never look her in the eye when she returned their gaze. Barry was in this stage. The staring wide eyed stage. She smiled at him and he looked away from her.

He didn't like it when she told him to stop trying so hard to impress Jane. Jane didn't get impressed. She never would.

"Just do your job good Detective Frost, Jane already knows you're good at it so keep being good and you won't have to worry about what she thinks...and besides, she likes you already so don't try so hard... that just bugs her."

Right now Barry was staring wide eyed at her again and she could feel he wanted to ask her something but was holding it in.

"What do you want to know Detective Frost?" She asked him directly. That was the best way to get things moving. Just say what you want to say and then you'll know. She didn't understand why people were always maneuvering around the truth instead of just telling it.

Barry cleared his throat and fussed with his tie. His suit was charcoal grey, he had a blue shirt and a silky smooth tie with a fishy kind of pattern on it. Phoebe liked his tie, she could tell he was really someone who would rather wear more fun things than that suit he had on. The tie was his fun thing.

"Phoebe... why were you in that alley in the first place? Why were you sitting in the shadows by the dumpster?"

"I was waiting for someone."

"Who?"

"The man that got killed."

Everyone in the room got a faster heartbeat at the same time. Sigh. She knew that would happen. She blew another puff of air at her bangs and waited for the onslaught of new questions.

Jane tried to take over at that point and Maura slid her chair closer to protect her. The lawyer person, Mimi, decided she needed to say something.

"Alright detective Rizzoli, Detective Frost I think now is the time where I would like to speak to my client alone before she discloses any more information to either of you. Why wasn't I told she knew the victim? "

"Because she didn't tell us she knew the victim did she?" And Jane was staring very hard at Phoebe and her heart was doing an angry frustrated beat.

"I didn't know him."

And then the room erupted into static for Phoebe. That's what it felt like for her anyway. Everyone confused and getting angry because they were confused. Sigh.

Maura became the voice of reason. She looked really pretty today Phoebe thought. She was wearing dark slacks and an emerald blouse that make the green specks in her eyes dance. She put her hand on Phoebe's arm before she spoke.

"Phoebe... would you start from the beginning please? Tell us why you were waiting for the man who got killed. No one in this room will interrupt you. "And Mimi," she addressed the lawyer, "this will be off the record so you don't have to get all twisted about what she might say. I don't want Phoebe treated like she's done something wrong...just let her talk."

Maura turned and glared at everyone in the room until they all nodded like they agreed with her but Jane didn't agree, even though she nodded. She was mad again. When would Jane just start to trust people again? Then Maura patted her arm and smiled at her and said real soft:

"Okay Phoebe, just go ahead and start from why you were waiting for the man that got killed."

She sat back in the chair and decided to relax because this was going to take awhile after all. Barry had given her an orange soda earlier so she took a sip of that first and decided she may as well tell them everything because they wouldn't let her live with Maura unless she did anyway.

"I followed him to that bar. It's called "The Nasty Vermin.' It's supposed to be some kind of joke I guess, the name of the bar I mean. The men like it because so many people are "nasty" to gay guys just because they're gay and they thought it would be a funny name for the bar. I heard some of them talking outside earlier and that's what they said anyway."

"So... um... I do this thing where I walk around until I meet the right person. Or I see the right person and then I figure out a way to meet them. I saw Stephen at a coffee shop before he went to the bar. I was sitting at a table in the corner but he was with some friends and I heard someone call him Stephen so that's how I knew his name. He didn't notice me but I could tell he was going to be a good connection for me. I could feel him really clear - his heart was really happy."

"So I followed him to the bar and hung out at the front for awhile and watched people and listened to the guys smoking outside. I got a little tired so I decided to go out back and sit for awhile. I don't like to be out in the open at night because I don't want people who are dangerous coming up to me. I like to be able to feel people before they see me so I can know if they will be safe to be around. So I hid behind the dumpster and waited."

The room was eerily quiet while everyone tried to digest what she had just said. She knew none of it would sound reasonable to them, especially the parts about her trying to meet the "right person," and feeling how his heart was "happy." She knew this would jamb them all up so she decided to explain a little more.

"I've been on my own since I was ten. I ...ah... ran away from the foster care house I was in and just take care of myself now. The people in that house were mean to us kids. There was five of us and they just wanted the money... they didn't care about the kids at all."

"Anyway, I don't know who my real family is. I don't have a memory of them, just little bits of flashes of feelings and a picture of my mother in my mind but I'm not even sure if it's really my mother. I'd like it to be but I can't know for sure. She was pretty, she had hair like Maura's and she was soft and warm... and laughed with a deep laugh. But that's all I remember. I was in foster care since I was really little. None of the families I lived with were happy or safe places for me to be. "

"So I just wandered away one day with my little purple back pack and the few pieces of clothes that I had and never went back. I walked around until I met this older woman who had a nice car and a kind heart, but she was sad too. She asked me why I wasn't in school and I could tell she was really worried about me and, at the same time - really safe for me to talk to. I told her I ran away because I wasn't safe in the foster home."

" She took me home with her. I knew she would. Her name was Celia and she had a big house and lived alone because her husband died. She was lonely and I could feel how sad she was and that I met her at the right time. So I stayed there with her for three weeks, but then she started to think she should call someone from the social service agency and get me back in school. She didn't want me to leave but she thought she should do the right thing by me. So I left her a note and thanked her for taking care of me but that I had to go."

"And that's pretty much what I do. I walk around and meet people I know won't hurt me. There always seems to be something that I can do for them as well as what they do for me. Celia was really lonely and we talked a lot about her husband. I helped her with her grief and she took care of me. "

"I learned a lot about my gift. Sometimes the people I picked were really great to start with but then it would get weird. I stayed with this one couple for six months once. They didn't have children and were really happy to have me live with them. I even let them put me in a school for a little while. But after some time went by, the husband; his name was Dean, thought that they could make money off of what I do. He tried to explain how neat it would be for me "work a room, reading all the hearts." He said it would be a great show...something no one else had ever done. His wife, her name was Pam, didn't like it at all and told him no. But I could tell he wasn't going to let it go - once the idea got a hold of him he latched right on to it. So, I left them too."

"I've been all over the country and lived lots of places. I always meet the right people because I can tell what's in their heart. I always give something back to them... not like money, but I know they get better when I'm there. And that's how I live. I don't know what my last name is for real, but my first name is Phoebe and I think I'm fifteen."

" I was going to talk to Stephen when he came out of the bar, and then that man came in the alley, and everything happened so fast. I didn't get the chance to help him."

When Phoebe stopped talking and looked around the room she knew what she would see. She could feel it very clearly. Three sets of eyes were filled with un-shed tears and the fourth set was Maura's. Hers were streaming in streaks. Sigh. She didn't mean to make them sad. She wasn't sad so they should not be sad.

**To Be Continued**

**Happy Thanksgiving.**

_Remember: Interest + Reviews = faster chapters._

_Thanks again to those of you who have left me a note of encouragement. _


	8. Seductions, Solutions and Satisfaction

**I Can Feel Your Heart Beat.**

**Rizzoli & Isles**

**Pairing: Jane Rizzoli/Maura Isles**

**Author: myIllusion**

**Rating: R for later chapters**

_Disclaimer: I do not own the characters-no copyright infringement intended._

_Okay... so Jane finally comes clean with Maura. _

**Chapter VIII " Seductions, Solutions and Satisfaction "**

**Harold**

The Medical Examiner and the girl entered a building called Moon Fabrication. The sign described the company as a maker of sound proof and vibration proof products. Why would they be visiting such a place? He kept a good distance from them. They were accompanied by an unmarked police car and one of the undercover cops got out to follow them into the building while the other stayed to guard the ME's car.

Harold parked his Subaru across the street at the Tire Warehouse the moment he determined their destination. How could he get to the girl if she was constantly attended? He had to be careful of coming too close because he was certain she would recognize him. He shuddered with the memory of her penetrating glare. Somehow that child had singled him out in the crowd at the crime scene? How? He knew the moment her eyes locked onto his that she had known what he had done. He had been very careful and yet the moment he made eye contact with that wretched girl he felt as though his skin had been flayed. In one fleeting second, one glance, she had stripped him bare of his pretension, his disguise... and he had fled.

He had to get to that girl. She was the only one that had seen him. That cop with the camera did not get a clear picture. Harold had made sure to shield himself, or look away every time the lens was aimed at him - but the girl saw him. This would not do. She was interfering with his work. He was a respected member of this community and he could not allow this girl to expose him. He could not allow this strange girl to hinder his plan.

Harold lit up a cigarette, inhaled deeply and began to pace in front of his car while keeping his attention on the Moon Fabrication building. He would wait until Dr. Isles and this unknown girl left the facility and then go in and ask some innocent questions. Maybe he could get some information from an unsuspecting employee. How odd, he thought, sound proof? Vibration proof? What was that about?

Two hours later the pair had finally left, and Harold prepared himself - he straightened his tie, combed his thick brown hair back while smiling at himself in the reflection of his car window. He was a handsome man, which made him very confident. He had also worked hard at the gym to sculpt his body to perfection. People noticed him for his appealing appearance and he made sure to use that to his advantage at every opportunity. Assuming a hesitant, yet open and friendly expression he strolled down the walk that led to the entrance of Moon Fabrication.

Once inside, he scanned the depth of the huge interior; the arrangement was somewhat like a Home Depot, but the only products seemed to be huge rolls that looked like thick carpets - but they weren't carpets. There were real size model rooms scattered throughout the warehouse. The walls of these rooms were lined with the varied materials displayed throughout the complex.

"Excuse me sir," A young man, who appeared to be in his early twenties, had come up behind Harold unawares and startled him into yelping in an undignified manner.

"Gosh you really scared me." Shrugging his shoulders to straighten his coat and gather his calm he offered a nervous smile which caused the young man to grin ruefully in return. Perfect. Harold thought. This young man would be perfect.

"Sorry sir, how can I help you? I noticed you were looking around and wanted to answer any questions you might have."

The boy was very pretty. Later he would become ruggedly handsome with a little age, but for now he still carried that smooth flawless skin that only the young maintained. His hair was gorgeous; thick, black, wavy and neatly cut. His eyes were dark and sultry. Harold indulged himself with noticing. He loved to notice them; that didn't mean he loved to love them. No. He did not love them.

"I think I may have come to the wrong establishment. What exactly do you do here?...um...ah, Paul." He smiled at the young man and pointed at his name tag.

"We mainly provide materials for soundproofing rooms, and the vibrations that come with loud sounds. Our products are designed to block airborne noise, like street traffic, voices, and music. Many of our customers are in the music industry, we... um... help them set up their sound studios."

"Really?" Trying his best to sound intrigued and impressed Harold asked,

"Was that young woman I just saw leaving with her mother an up and coming singer? She sure had the look of a pop star with that interesting haircut. "

"Ah... no sir... um she has some kind of weird sensitivity to people... that's what I was able to guess anyway. They were testing the rooms to see if any of our materials would block out whatever it was she was feeling sensitive to."

"Did they find one that worked?" Harold asked curiously but trying not appear attached. He acted as though he was more interested in talking to young Paul than the conversation at hand. He made a point to maintain his eye contact and a subtle smile; he also allowed his gaze to travel over the young mans body.

Paul was receiving the signals Harold was sending and apparently flattered, he puffed up his chest a bit, shoved his hands in his pockets and thrust his hips forward before answering.

"Yeah they did. A combination of cork, polyether foam, and Vibra Block seemed to do the trick. It's a combination we use for heavy noise and vibration like you would find if you lived near an airport...they seemed really happy about their success and placed a good order with us as well as agreeing to have us do the installation."

Harold grinned at the handsome youngster who seemed very pleased with himself.

"Happy endings all around eh Paul? I hope you get a good commission from that sale...say...ah, how about I take you out to dinner to celebrate? I'm Harold by the way," he reached out to shake the young mans hand with a firm grip and an extra squeeze, "... and it does appear I've wandered into the wrong warehouse but am happy to have done so."

Harold was really good at picking up young gay men. He'd been at it for quite some time so he was not surprised when Paul smiled and nodded in agreement with his suggestion.

"Sure... Harold, I'd like that... ah, I'll go let my manager know I'm leaving... I'm... ah, finished for the day anyway," he smiled warmly at Harold,... "and I'll meet you out front."

So... Harold thought, as he wandered casually to the front entrance: Moon Fabrication would be making an installation at Dr. Maura Isles home. He would take advantage of this young Paul, get the information he required and then dispose of him...and the girl.

**Jane, Maura and Phoebe, Jo Friday and Bass**

Phoebe was sitting on the floor in Maura's living room giggling. Bass had crawled out from his favorite hiding place beneath the coffee table. His tortoise head was bobbing slowly up and down, while Jo Friday was grrrrring and woofing.

Maura and Jane were seated on the sofa side by side. Close together and holding hands - talking about their day; the ongoing case, and this afternoons discovery while watching Phoebe and her antics with the creatures.

Her pale skin was flushed with the excitement of her day. Phoebe loved to be alive right now in this moment. She loved animals because they were so honest and clear. Humans were complex and difficult sometimes, but also very interesting. The heartbeats of most animals were easy for her to read and she found that purity refreshing. Jo's was all excited and beating very fast with frustration. Bass's heart rate was really slow. Tortoises had slow heart rates anyway but Phoebe was surprised at how calm Bass seemed to stay, even with Jo Friday barking at him.

Her black hair was pulled back into a ponytail, she'd changed her jeans to gray sweat pants and replaced the black tee shirt she was wearing earlier with another black tee shirt. Some things she liked more than others. Maura had let her pick out whatever she wanted on their shopping trip. At first she only wanted to get another pair of jeans and another tee shirt but Maura wouldn't have it. They bought Phoebe more clothes than she had ever had in her entire life. And Maura said it was just a quick stop to get her some things to tide her over until they could do a real "shopping adventure."

Phoebe had a difficult time visualizing what "a real shopping adventure" would entail but the way that Maura's heart got all excited when she talked of it - made Phoebe realize it would probably take up a whole day.

She glanced up at Jane and couldn't help but smirk. She really did like Jane. Jane was a very good person, filled up with passion and love and a desire to do the right thing - especially for the people she loved. Even if she had gone astray for awhile with Maura. Phoebe understood why that happened and didn't really blame the Detective. But, still, there was something about the way Jane reacted to life that brought about the mischief in Phoebe. She couldn't help but tweak the Detective just to see her varied dramatic responses. With that in mind she laughed out loud and shared her thoughts with Jane.

"Jo is just like you Jane. She gets all jealous and excited when she isn't getting the attention she wants. And Bass is just like Maura. All calm and reasonable but he won't back down. He isn't going to crawl back under the table just coz Jo doesn't want me paying attention to him."

Jane snorted with indignation and Maura chuckled low and throaty with amusement.

"You better watch it kid," and Jane stretched out her long leg, poking Phoebe's bottom with her toe, "you aren't too big to spank ya know." But she shook her head and smiled with mock fierceness.

And they all laughed. But then Jane got a little serious and asked Phoebe how she felt about the renovation of her bedroom. The guys from that Moon place were coming over tomorrow to do the installation. They were going to cover the walls the ceiling and the floor with that stuff that blocked her ability to feel the heartbeats. Phoebe had mixed feelings about the idea. Mostly she was happy because she knew it would make Jane feel better about privacy and Phoebe understood that need.

" I think it'll be really cool. I've never had a place where I could have total quiet from the feelings of other people. Except outside of course, I mean outside I still feel it but it's muffled more...and when I'm in the forest or an open field I feel very peaceful. So, I hope it will be like that."

Then Jane looked at her with her Detective glare. The one that said you're keeping something back, before pushing Phoebe for more of an answer.

"But, you will be a little frightened won't you Phoebe?" And she nodded her head at Phoebe to elaborate, urging her to share her real thoughts.

"...Um..." Phoebe arched her eyebrows in surprise at Jane's perception. "Yeah. It will kind of be like taking away my eyesight or my hearing. I've always had this. I don't know what it's like not to be able to sense the feelings of other people when I know they are near me physically... um... I think I'll feel a little vulnerable at first...but because it's here... in Maura's house, I think I'll feel okay. I trust you and Maura."

"Phoebe." Maura leaned over suddenly, worry written all over her face and beating in her heart. "We can call and cancel if you want. I'm so sorry, I can't believe I didn't think about that aspect of your gift. I was only trying to find a way to give you what I thought would be "peace and quiet" in your life for once. I didn't think it through completely."

And Maura glanced at Jane with appreciation for her understanding of what Phoebe might be going through.

"No Maura, it's really okay... I want to do this. I also feel bad because it's going to be so expensive. I saw how much it cost on that paper that Paul guy filled out. I don't want you to spend all that money on me. "

"Why ever not? I have a lot of money Phoebe and I enjoy spending it on things that give me pleasure. This will bring me much pleasure if it will bring you just a little peace."

Jane snorted again, and mumbled something about, "You should see how much she spends on shoes," which caused Maura to elbow her in the stomach.

Phoebe grinned at both of them, her lopsided grin - the one she saved for things she thought were really funny. She got up off the floor scooping up Jo Friday and proceeded to yawn dramatically.

"I'm tired, me and Jo are going to bed. It's really going to be okay Maura and thank you." She exclaimed sincerely before bending over to kiss the Medical Examiner on the cheek. She winked at Jane and headed toward her room. Before she got to the door she turned around and left them with one final thought.

"Oh yeah, you guys should probably finish your talk. You still have to tell her about the "mad" Jane... then everything will be okay... you'll see... g'night then."

She slipped inside her bedroom and closed the door behind her, smiling contentedly. She never had a real home before. In two long but short days, somehow Maura's house had come to feel like home...and Maura and Jane and Jo Friday and Bass. They felt like family.

**Jane and Maura **

They took a long hot soothing shower together before going to bed. Jane tried numerous times while scrubbing and shampooing to seduce her beautiful Doctor, but Maura was having none of it.

"No Jane... not until you tell me about the 'mad.' She insisted and pulled away from Jane's embrace and wandering hands.

Jane sulked. She was incredibly sexy with her body all slick and shiny with the streams of water sluicing down those incredible long legs and her hair was a gorgeous mane of streaming black silk. Maura found it very hard to resist her advances. Jane's bottom lip protruded, wet and full, begging to be kissed... and sucked. No. Maura shivered, in spite of the scalding water, and quickly rinsed her hair. She stepped out of the shower first and grabbed the towels placing one on a hook for Jane.

"I'm going to go set up the bed so we can talk Jane, while you finish rinsing... you might want to run a little cold water to cool yourself off."

"grunt." Was all Maura could decipher of Jane's response but she smiled anyway. She dried herself off and slipped on a silk robe, tying in loosely in front, which revealed a great deal of her ample cleavage. Smiling to herself she knew the view would motivate Jane to follow Phoebe's advice. The sooner they finished this talk the sooner they could move forward.

These thoughts were suddenly very serious to Maura. A part of her was frightened at what Jane would reveal. What had she done to make Jane so angry? Was it something they could move beyond? Maura was completely in the dark. She had, time and again, replayed every interaction they had ever had and could still not pinpoint a single thing that she had said or done?

Wanting to distract herself from the sudden case of nervous feelings she set about the bed to prop the pillows for them to lean against and talk. Jane slipped up behind her, hugging her from behind, wearing nothing but a skimpy black tank top. Kissing her neck and nipping at her pulse point she thrust her naked hips into Maura's backside while whispering into her ear.

"Are you sure you wanna talk Maur-" That husky voice all sultry, her breath was hot and sent its warmth along a tingling path throughout the length of Maura''s body.

"JANE."

Jane giggled and backed away holding her hands up in surrender.

"Okay... okay Maura, I'm sorry." Still wearing a self satisfied smirk she said, "lets talk." And climbed onto the bed to lean against the pillows, she pulled a sheet up to cover her naked hips and legs. An attempt at mollifying her flustered, frustrated girlfriend. And that is how she thought of Maura now - as her girlfriend.

Maura climbed in bed and settled herself beside Jane wearing a somewhat wary expression, her eyes were big with curiosity but held a hint of doubt... and fear. Jane squashed her playful antics on the spot. She did not want to ever see that look of fear on Maura's face again. Never, especially when she looked at Jane.

"I'm sorry Maura, really." Reaching out, she clasped Maura's hand, squeezed it tight and began to share her feelings.

"Do you remember when we had dinner at the Fairfields?"

"Yes, of course."

"After dinner, I went in search of more Champagne - that hundred dollar a glass stuff. I needed it to recover from stabbing that fish at the dinner table. "

Maura snickered and Jane chuckled, both of them amused by the whole fiasco. But then Jane sobered a bit when her memory led her to that place of all the upset.

"I couldn't find you when I came back to the main reception room so I wandered around a bit and heard your voice. You were in that little library they had in the back. The door was slightly ajar and I peeked in. "

"Garrett was standing with his arms around your waist... I ...um almost barged in to tell him to get his hands off of you but I saw the look on your face and decided not to. You seemed to like him holding you like that. And then he leaned in and kissed you. I was kind of going crazy inside at that time. Really Jealous but I knew it was my own fault that I hadn't let you know my feelings yet."

"So.. I ... ah... just watched like a creepy voyeur."

"I couldn't help myself. I hated that guy. I knew you loved him once but I thought your were over your feelings for him, at least that was what you told me. Anyway, he kissed you but then you pulled away from him. You pushed his chest away and told him no. That made me feel better right away but only for a second."

And Maura nodded sadly in remembrance of what had happened next, her hazel eyes flashed green with emotion as she recalled what Garrett said and how she had responded.

Jane continued knowing that Maura now remembered as well.

"He said to you, 'Has that dyke cop gotten to you Maura? Has she fucked you yet or doesn't she have the courage to try? God she's so transparent but I thought that you would have a little more class then to slum it with the likes of her, and a dyke to top it off. I never pegged you for a lesbian Maura.' "

"Those were his exact words. Mean and vicious. I wanted to rush in and punch him for talking to you like that and almost did... but then you laughed. You laughed at him and said:

'Don't be ridiculous Garrett. Just because I don't want to fuck you doesn't mean I'm sleeping with Jane. That is a ridiculous notion,' and then you laughed again...like the very idea of being with me that way was really funny to you. And he laughed too... and said something like, 'well that's a relief, although I still don't understand why you won't let me... for old times sake Maura?' "

"And then you continued to chat with him like nothing had happened... it made me kind of sick to my stomach how you could be so bitchy with him, so casual at his poor treatment of you... I thought you high society types were supposed to be classy... but that little scene I witnessed was just crude and mean...and well, just low Maura. I slipped away unnoticed by either of you."

"And after the way you laughed at the idea of what he said. Us, you and me being together was laughable to you. God, Maur-, it felt like Kelsie all over again. That same kind of choking pain. I was so grateful that I hadn't told you how I felt. The only thing that spared me this time was that we hadn't become lovers. I made a decision that evening that I would slowly distance myself from you. No need to tell you what I overheard - would it make a difference? I thought to myself and came to the conclusion that it wouldn't."

"The only problem was that I knew I was in love with you... and that I wanted you. I decided I needed to pull away because it was already hurting too much. And the way you had acted felt like a stake in my heart. But you wouldn't let it go at that. You had to know why? I thought it wouldn't matter that much to you if I just slowly eased out of your personal life, but I should have known better... you... um.. you are so direct and honest that you were not going to let me get away without an explanation. "

"God, Maura that hurt so much, when you started crying in the morgue that day. I wanted so bad to hug you and tell you everything... but I just didn't know how... so I ran. And I shut myself off completely so as not to get hurt any more. I picked my own sanity over your hurt feelings. I'm sorry Maura, I'm really sorry."

Jane was rubbing Maura's hand during the duration of this long explanation. Maura was staring at her lap and listening to Jane ramble. Tears had formed and were sliding off her cheeks onto the sheet.

Jane had one last thing to say.

"Now that I've explained myself Maura... could you explain to me... why you acted like that with Garrett? I kind of get it... he put you in an uncomfortable position by kissing you and when you rejected him he got nasty, but... I still don't get why you let him disparage me like that... and you as well? You could have just said:

"No, Jane and I are not lovers but she is my best friend so shut your mouth, That was what I was expecting you to say... the Maura I had come to love and admire would have said that anyway... so, what I'm asking Maura... is why? Why did you let him talk to you like that?"

Maura turned to look at Jane, her hazel gaze was full of glossy tears and sadness. She shook her head from side to side in utter frustration and shame.

"I don't know Jane. I was raised in that cut throat, stuffy, aristocracy and that is how those people behave. I had to learn to survive in that world and so I did. When Garrett cornered me like that my old skills emerged to take control and protect me. It isn't who I am Jane. I've never belonged there,...in that world. I've never belonged to the parents who adopted me. They have never noticed me enough to figure that out."

Maura turned on her side and inched her way to snuggle closer to Jane, she leaned in and kissed Jane's shoulder lightly, she snugged her arm across Jane's waist before continuing her explanation.

"But Jane, when I laughed at Garrett and said that was a ridiculous notion. I wasn't really thinking what he said. I was just thinking he was ridiculous... not the idea of us being lovers. I told you before it hadn't ever occurred to me... not really... not until Phoebe spelled it out for me. I've always been slow about these things Jane. A part of me always thought I was asexual because I never really enjoyed having sex with men. It never occurred to me to think of taking a woman as a lover... I... um...I don't know why... I've always been so busy with my studies and my work and I just didn't think that part of my life would ever be fulfilled so I ignored it."

Maura kissed Jane's shoulder again and looked up to meet her eyes. Big dark pools of black and brown were focused on her tightly, intensely listening but also just intense. Maura shuddered and flushed under the heated gaze.

"Jane, my friendship with you was the most important thing in my life. I was so in love with you and really didn't know it because I had never had a real friend before... you were everything to me... you still are..." Her voice had started to quiver with that last part and she needed to finish before Jane devoured her with that penetrating stare.

"Jane, I'm so sorry... God what a rotten mess this has been. I'm so sorry... you are right, of course, I should have told him what you said. The Maura you know would have told him to go screw himself. I'm so sorry that I didn't... but Jane, promise me from now on that you will tell me how you feel? Tell me if you hurt or if I hurt you. We could have avoided these last two months if we had only talked."

A low growl type sound emerged from Jane's voice before she pulled Maura onto her lap. Her mouth was hot and demanding, yet soft and gentle. Maura melted into the kiss with great relief. They lost themselves in one another...speaking with their lips and with their breath and with their tongues...loving and forgiving without words.

Finally, they pulled away to seek each others gaze. The need of understanding could be seen...needed to be seen. Glistening tears sparkled without pain or sorrow, but held the healing weight of happiness and joy.

"I love you Jane."

"I love you Maura."

The declarations were whispered simultaneously.

**To Be Continued**

_Thanks again to those of you who have left me a note of encouragement._

_ Interest + Reviews = Faster Updates. _


	9. Intentions

**I Can Feel Your Heart Beat.**

**Rizzoli & Isles**

**Pairing: Jane Rizzoli/Maura Isles**

**Author: myIllusion**

**Rating: R for later chapters**

_Disclaimer: I do not own the characters-no copyright infringement intended._

_Things might get a little scary for awhile..._

**Chapter IX "Intentions "**

**Maura**

She was nearly finished stitching up the Y incision. The young man on her table had been healthy and fit, his musculature very developed and well balanced. His features and bone structure, especially in his face, presented as Scandanavian but Maura was fairly certain there was a heavy Asian influence. This was purely conjecture on her part and was, at present, not important to this case. The young man had been bludgeoned to death by that "three foot length of two by four," as Jane had stated at the scene of the crime.

Stephen Fitzgerald had been murdered in identical fashion at the first crime scene. The Boston Police Department was facing the work of a Serial Killer. The two murder weapons had come from the same length of board and were left at the separate scenes by the assailant. Traces of a white powdery substance had been found on both murder weapons in the location by which the killer had gripped the board with both hands and swung with considerable force from an overhead direction. Clearly, overkill. Both victims skulls were completely crushed. Maura thought it curious, however, that their faces were left untouched. Not a single abrasion, laceration nor contusion could be found upon the face of either victim - as though the killer did not want to despoil their inherent good looks.

Again, conjecture, on her part but no one needed to know that, privately, on occasion; Maura indulged in the "art" of speculation and conjecture. Jane had teased her relentlessly about her inability to be flexible in the field. On one occasion she had said:

_"Speculation is an art form Maura - you should try it once in awhile; prove to everyone, once and for all, that you really aren't cyborg."_ _She snorted at her own joke, flashed that mischievous smirk and elbowed Maura in the ribs to let her know that she was being teased._

Maura smiled at that memory. That had been when she and Jane were just becoming friends.

_The Detective had started to poke fun at Maura's methodical, orderly structure. At first Maura had been offended and her feelings were hurt that the Detective did not seem to take her seriously as an accomplished professional in her field. But then Jane stayed late one afternoon, after the completion of an autopsy. Maura looked at her curiously, trying to discern a reason as to why the Detective would loiter in her morgue when the work at hand was finished._

_"Dr. Isles... ah, Marua ..." _

_Jane was fidgeting; she was playing with her her key ring, looking down at the floor and absently kicking the leg of the autopsy table - causing the whole thing to shudder and vibrate. _

_"I just want you to know that when I make comments like the "Cyborg" stuff and the "Speculation" and the "Wikipedia mouth"... that I am only teasing you...because I like you. I sort of feel that I have hurt your feelings somehow... um... I realized you never smile or laugh when I say those things... and I wanted you to understand that when I joke like that with you... ah... damn. I'm sorry Dr. Isles, what I'm trying to say is... I'd really like us to be friends." _

_Jane had continued to kick the autopsy table until the covered body on top had started to wobble precariously back and forth. Maura advanced on Jane who was completely unaware of what she was doing._

_In an effort to prevent a mishap, Maura stepped into the space between the table and Jane's foot, which had gained a significant amount of momentum and force. The swinging kick connected with a thunk on Maura's shin._

_"Owwwww!"_

_"Oh Fuck...I'm so sorry...oh my God... fuck Maura...why did you do that?" _

_Jane was turning nine shades of red, she leaned over to look at Maura, who was crouching over her leg, her shoulders were shaking and Jane was certain that the Medical Examiner was crying. She continued to mumble and swear and apologize, until she realized that Maura was not crying... she was laughing... almost hysterically. And soon... Jane was laughing too. _

_Jane had had her with, "I like you." _

_No single person in Maura's life had ever said to her those words: "I like you," _

_Nor, "I'd like us to be friends." _

_At that time, Jane had no idea what those words would mean to her, but Maura would never forget that unbelievable feeling of acceptance; a feeling she'd been wholly unfamiliar with...until that moment. With that simple declaration and that endearing display of child like shyness and honesty... Jane had claimed a space in Maura's heart. _

_She smiled warmly at the Detective, holding out her hand to shake and say hello._

_"I'd love to be your friend... Jane."_

_Jane gripped her hand and squeezed it tight, smiled that beautiful smile and said..._

_"...I'm sorry I kicked you Dr. Isl.. um... Maura. That's not the best way to start a friendship but I promise not to do it again." Which set off another round of fitful laughter._

_As they were leaving the morgue, on the way to have their first drink at the Dirty Robber, Maura glanced up at the gorgeous taller woman and said:_

_"Now, about that language Jane."_

_Jane groaned and exclaimed, "Christ Maura... not you too?, damn...my Ma is gonna love you."_

Remembering this moment now, Maura looked at it with a new perspective. Jane had really reached out to her considering the past she had recently shared. The last two days had revealed much to the Medical Examiner - about herself and her love for Jane.

Initially shocked by her own wanton behavior the night they had made love, Maura no longer questioned her decision. Once she had identified her attraction to Jane - she simply wanted her. Regardless of the risk of future hurt; she hadn't cared in that moment, and she was glad for it now.

Maura heard a familiar patter of footfalls coming up behind her, and then she smelled the familiar intricate scent. Lost in thought, she hadn't even heard the swinging doors; but now her waist was circled from behind, her neck was being nuzzled and explored by soft lips.

"Jane."

She leaned back into the embrace to allow herself a moment of simple sensual pleasure, before focusing her mind unto the present moment.

"What have you got for me Dr. Isles?" Jane murmured into Maura's neck before she pulled an earlobe into her mouth and started sucking.

Maura let out a low moan before turning around and waving her blood covered, latex gloved hands in the air. Jane stepped back immediately.

"Christ Maura...eww..."

"Language Jane, and you should know better than to try and seduce a working Coroner Detective."

Smiling, she leaned in, securing her hands behind her back before tenderly kissing Jane upon her pouting mouth.

"I'm sorry Jane, I can't help myself...you tease me so much it's starting to wear off on me."

"Hrumpph."

Maura covered the body, pulled off her gloves and her lab coat, rinsed and washed her hands thoroughly in the sink, before leading Jane over to her desk so they could sit and discuss the case.

"You have a Serial Killer who is targeting young gay men... but you already knew that."

"We recovered saliva samples from each victim and the DNA matches; confirming the fact that this is, indeed, the same killer. No match has been made within the Codis Data Base at this time. He has a definite pattern and precise mode of operation. The weapon is consistent in both cases and both boards came from the same piece of timber. Two by fours are cut in varying lengths. Twelve foot lengths are most common, so he probably has at least two more unused sections of that same piece of timber. I'll let you speculate about how he may use them."

Jane grinned and shook her head at Maura.

"There is a white powdery substance near the end of each board where the grip would be. We were unable to find a single usable fingerprint and I suspect the powder is the reason. The lab is running tests but it is probably CaCO3 - a soft compact calcite with varying amounts of silica, quartz and feldspar."

Jane twitched her eyebrows at Maura, which meant: "in English please."

"Gymnasts chalk... it would allow for a good grip but should also leave substantial prints. He may be coating his fingertips with something like clear nail polish to hide his prints. The chalk would offset any slickness, enabling him to hold the board firmly without slipping."

"Why not just use gloves?"

"Phoebe said he didn't have gloves on when she saw him at the first crime scene. Gloves would be conspicuous at this time of year...he also may have some strange reason of his own. Serial Killers are very attached to their rituals Jane; it may be a good idea to bring in a profiler with this one."

Jane nodded in agreement while Maura continued with her findings.

"Complete overkill. At least six blows to the head. None of them touched the victims face as was the case with the first victim. Both men have aesthetically pleasing features and well developed musculature associated with spending time at a weightlifting facility."

"You mean a Gym Maura?" Jane asked her girlfriend with a smirk.

"Yes a Gym, Jane. As I understand it people who lift weights also use chalk on their hands to grip the dumbbells with."

"Barbells."

"JANE."

Laughing with great pleasure Jane leaned over to place a kiss on Maura's cheek.

"I have to go meet with Korsak, Frost, Morgan and the lieutenant. We're setting up to do surveillance at the gay clubs and, now, probably the Gyms and Art galleries too. This Willows Gallery that Jacob Peterson was found behind is known for having trendy shows that featured Gay and Lesbian Artists in the community."

Maura nodded absently and got up to walk with Jane to the door, she clasped her hand enjoying this new closeness she shared with Jane and wanted to touch her at every opportunity.

Before departing the morgue Jane scanned the room wearing a worried frown upon her face.

"Where is Phoebe Maura?"

"Oh, she's upstairs in the lounge with Officer Silva interviewing tutors. I didn't want her down here while I was doing this autopsy Jane. We called a temp agency and asked them to send over anyone who had tutoring skills... and before you get all excited Jane...-"

Jane was making a disapproving face at the idea of using a temp agency.

"...do you really think Phoebe is actually interviewing these people for real? She may be asking them questions, but you know as well as I do that she will select the right person based on what she senses by the rhythm of their heartbeat..so don't worry. "

Maura was moved by Jane's genuine concern for Phoebe. The two hadn't gotten off to a good start but Jane had warmed up to Phoebe considerably, which made Maura very happy. She had intentions for Phoebe and the future, and she wanted Jane to care about the girl as she had come to. Maura stood up on her tip toes to kiss her tall Detective softly on the lips.

"I'll see you later Detective." She whispered into Jane's mouth. Jane smiled, enjoying the way Maura used her title now... it didn't feel like a piercing knife anymore but swept across her body like a gentle wind, leaving a trail of goose flesh in its wake.

"Okay Maur-, I'll meet you back here after my meeting and then we can go home and see what Phoebe's new room looks like... I hope those guys were able to finish in one day like they promised."

**Harold and Paul**

Harold was excited to show Paul his secret place within the secluded park. The trail they were running was frequented by hikers, but there was a fork around the next turn that led into the woods a bit. The detour was difficult to see but Harold had used it often. He had come early this morning to prepare the place especially for this tryst with Paul.

_Their day had been successful. The Medical Examiner had shown the work crew in and left shortly thereafter with that Detective and the girl in tow behind her. One of the undercover officers was assigned to stay at the home but Harold was not concerned by him. The coverall that Paul provided made him appear as part of the work crew. As the work of the installation progressed the cop got bored and started watching a ball game on the television. _

_Harold took this opportunity to slip away unseen. He glued a tiny microphone on the bottom of the keypad for the house security system. The microphone was minuscule - state of the art and well worth the money he had spent. One would have to know it was there in order to notice the tiny black circle, which blended in perfectly with the black plastic that surrounded the keypad. When Dr. Isles pressed her number code into the panel; the microphone would record the tones each number made. Later, Harold would decipher the sequence to the alarm, which would allow him access to her home whenever he chose._

_Harold had shown up late intentionally, not wanting to be seen or "felt" by the girl. After further questioning of Paul he gathered that the girl could identify people by how they "felt" somehow. This child was a freak for sure and the very idea that she had "felt" his presence at that crime scene had given him the night terrors. _

_Turning on his charm the previous evening, Harold convinced Paul to let him watch the installation at Dr. Isles home. He pretended he might make a similar investment with Moon Fabrication as his home was near a playground. He detested the screaming and shrieking sounds of children while they played._

_Their evening had progressed as he knew it would. He let the boy blow him and reveled in the power he felt while pressing the young mans face onto himself. The boy was on his knees and Harold loved the feel of towering above while being pleasured. He was entitled to this one indulgence after all - before he brought them home to God._

The time was almost near. Paul was very fit and liked to run, so Harold had suggested this little jaunt throughout the park when their day was finished.

_"How about we go for a run Paul and then I'll take you out to dinner again? My thanks for letting me tag along today. I'm more than sure I'll be insulating the South side of my house now. That crew of yours was so efficient and neat. You can almost think they hadn't even come by how clean they left the place ... what do you say Paul? A quick run and then some steaks and beer?"_

_Paul smiled at Harold. He was kind of over the guy already but didn't want to turn him down now. Especially if there might be another commission in the offing. Paul couldn't put his finger on why but Harold gave him the creeps. He shook himself and thought, what the fuck? If I can make a sale to this guy I'll call it worth my while. But, he silently told himself, no sex this time. The guy was just too weird to do that with him again. _

_"Alright Harold, lets go back to the warehouse first, I have to sign off on the work order. We can change into our sweats and leave from there. "_

_Harold stored his homemade resin in a tiny jar within the pocket of his gym bag, along with the chalk. He placed the chalk inside his sweatshirt pocket before he dipped each of his fingertips within the fast drying glue. He took a small brush and swept the shiny glue across each palm gently blowing on his hands to speed the dry time. This was accomplished in the stall of the mens locker room while Paul was filling out his paperwork._

Almost time now Harold thought. He was getting excited; his heart was beating fast with anticipation.

"Just up here Paul, I can't wait for you to see this. " And Harold slowed his pace so Paul could catch him up.

"Right there." He pointed into a little break in the trees, just to the left of the main trail. " You go first, I really want to see the look on your face when you see what's in there."

Paul rolled his eyes at Harold but played along for the sake of the future account he was going to get. Panting from their run but not really tired yet he smiled at Harold and charged into the little crooked path. He ran along for another twenty yards until the trail opened into a tiny oval clearing. Stopping in the center, confused by the lack of anything but trees and a patch of withered grass he turned to -...!...!...!...!...!...

Harold dropped the "three foot length of two by four" on the forest floor next to the body of young Paul. He had brought him home to God. He spat upon the boy and walked away. The feeling of excitement and fulfillment was just the same. Glorious.

He would wait until he finished with the girl before calling the police about young Paul. He didn't want them becoming suspicious if they should discover the body before he talked to... Phoebe. That was the strange girls name. Phoebe.

**Phobe**

Phoebe was feeling a little weird and sad and confused. The weird was because of how the room felt, but also something else was weird in the house and she couldn't seem to shake the feeling. She had searched every room and closet with Jo Friday. She even grabbed a ladder and looked into the crawl space in the attic upstairs. Something felt askew, wrong and twisted... but she couldn't find the evidence she was looking for. Maybe she would talk about this with Jane in the morning.

Phoebe felt sad because she lied. Now she wished she hadn't lied. The room worked. Sort of. But she could feel Jane and Maura in the house. Her gift was greatly muffled but she could still feel their heartbeats and sense their feelings very strongly. They were really getting happier. Both of them. Their talk had gone well last night - they still had things to heal with one another, but the big stuff was out of the way.

Phoebe was confused because she didn't know what to do. If she had told the truth Jane would still be uncomfortable. She didn't want Jane to resent her... because she knew that Maura wanted her to stay. Maura hadn't been upset when Phoebe felt them...but Maura was different than most people. She hated to lie, especially to Maura ... and Jane. She would have to think about this more.

She rolled over on her side and stroked Jo Friday who was staring at her from the pillow.

"Everything will be okay Jo... you'll see. I just have to think this through. g'night Jo."

And Phoebe wandered into restless sleep feeling weird and sad and confused. Jo Friday sighed and twitched her ears, but kept the watch. She felt something weird too.

**To Be Continued**

_Thanks again to those of you who have left me a note of encouragement. _


	10. Flight

**I Can Feel Your Heart Beat.**

**Rizzoli & Isles**

**Pairing: Jane Rizzoli/Maura Isles**

**Author: myIllusion**

**Rating: R for later chapters**

_Disclaimer: I do not own the characters-no copyright infringement intended._

_Fair warning... a little bit of the M factor in this chapter. A little bit of suspense as well... I hope you stick around to find out what happens._

**Chapter X " Flight "**

**Jane & Maura**

**11:00 p.m.**

"So.. What do you think?"

Jane was leaning back on the pillows against the headboard wearing red boxer shorts and a black tank top; one long leg was bent at the knee with her hand dangling lazily off the top.

Maura thought she looked delicious. So much so that she hadn't really paid attention to the question. They had showered separately. Between the excitement of getting Phoebe set up in her room, fixing dinner, and taking Jo Friday for a long walk through the neighborhood; they were just now sitting down to talk about their day.

Maura was seated in the arm chair next to the bed enrobed in silk of deep Viridian green. She restrained herself from joining Jane on the bed. She wanted to talk before climbing in beside that delectable female specimen; fearing she would not be able to think or process if Jane started to touch her. They had not made love last evening after their enlightening but exhausting conversation. Both of them were raw and needed the comfort of being held and coddled, which they had done for one another.

Feast or Famine. The entirety of Maura's emotional life had been a famine until she met Jane. All of her relationships had been arrangements of convenience that reflected upon the social status of her adoptive parents. Especially her relationship with Garrett. That man had never known her. He coveted her body and appreciated her ability to be presentable, which allowed him to look good with an attractive ornament attached to his arm. Upon reflection; especially now, considering the depth of her feelings for Jane - Maura felt completely liberated.

Free, because she hadn't known what she hadn't had. Free, because she had this love, this warmth, this admiration, this adoration, this inexplicably complex and beautiful woman in her life. Remnants of the hurt still lingered but only as a memory, which seemed to soften and fade with every moment. The conflict between she and Jane had been explained, accepted and forgiven... they were free to start anew.

And Phoebe. Maura hadn't expected Phoebe nor the strong, familial and protective feelings she harbored for the girl. The intensity of her desire to care for and protect Phoebe was much the same as what, Maura mused, a mother might feel. These two incredible people: Jane and Phoebe - were her feast. All at once they barged into her dreary life and cast away the shadows, brightening her path with hope and love...

"...Earth to Maura... yooo hooo... Earth calling the Mother Ship...tell Maura to phone home."

Finally, Jane tossed a pillow lightly and watched it bounce off Maura's head, bringing her back to the present moment with a startled "Oof." She grinned at Jane who was wearing her naughty smirk. The smirk that said, "oops, my bad "... but showed no real remorse.

"I wanted to know what you thought about Phoebe's reaction to her room?"

Sigh.

"I think she lied."

"Me too."

Sigh.

"I think it probably deadens her ability somewhat, but not completely... and I think she was afraid to tell the truth because she wants us to feel like we'll have privacy when we are together."

Maura, ever direct and to the point Jane thought wryly, but knowing it was best to confront this issue head on.

"What do you want to do about it Maura? Do you want to confront her and make her tell you the truth or do you want to pretend that we believe her?"

Maura pulled the sash of her robe a little tighter while thinking about Jane's question. She didn't want Phoebe to have to lie about her ability, or hide it, or feel bad about something she had no control over. But she needed to know what Jane wanted, what Jane felt because that was really the issue at hand. Jane was the one who was uncomfortable. She braced herself for Jane's reaction but knew, somehow, that she need not worry.

"Jane, what do you want? I know you were very uncomfortable the other day when Phoebe blurted out that she was aware of our lovemaking. That was part of the reason I suggested this renovation of her room... to give us privacy as well as to give her some peace and quiet. It seems to have been a wasted effort now and we still have the same issue. How do you feel about it?"

Maura watched as Jane stretched out sideways on the bed, she smiled lazily at Maura and patted the empty space on the bed next to her.

Maura's eyebrows arched in surprise at Jane's gestured invitation and her face flushed pink but she did not go to her. She wanted Jane to answer her question. She shook her head no in answer, but before she could repeat her question Jane responded.

"Did you forget about our shower last night Maura?" Her husky voice was low and those deeply chocolate eyes were twinkling with mischief. " Do you remember how many times I tried to seduce you only to be turned down?" But then she shook her head and her voice became a bit more serious.

" Phoebe's room had not been altered yet... and I'd be lying if I said it didn't make me a little uncomfortable still... but Phoebe has been like this her whole life. Can you imagine all those foster homes and places she has stayed? "

"She said it herself... she has felt those types of rhythms hundreds of times... I don't think it's any different to her than any of the other rhythms she feels. She just processes them into types of feelings so she can relate to the world in a way that makes her feel safe. She's connected to the natural world in a way that I envy Maura and she processes all of the rhythms she feels as being part of the natural world...normal. Do you remember what she said? She said 'it's much more pleasant to feel when two people really love one another than when they don't.' "

"God Maura, a part of me envies her ability and another part just feels sorry that she's had to experience the uglier side of human nature in such a visceral way. Whatever the cause, it isn't her fault and I could never blame her for that."

"So... in the morning I think we should tell her not to worry or pretend that she doesn't still feel us. I also think we should take that junk back out of her room... I think it makes her frightened to have her gift so muffled and I don't want her to feel vulnerable and scared so I can feel more comfortable."

Tears welled up in Maura's eyes at Jane's words.

And several moments later...

...she climbed onto the bed in slow motion while unfastening the sash of her silk robe. The specks of green within her hazel eyes were dancing whirling patterns. Hypnotized by Maura's slow intentional advance; Jane could only watch as the slippery silk slowly slid its way off smooth and creamy shoulders.

Suddenly her tank top was coming up and over her head; she followed the arc of its path as it sailed across the room to hit the wall with a soft whoosh. Magically, her boxer shorts were sliding off her ankles and soft lips were trailing up the length of her long legs.

Jane moaned.

Maura's hot mouth was a searing brand, her tongue a flaming brush which gently painted strokes of heat that blazed into a bonfire between her legs. Slowly she circled Jane's swollen nub, around and around; avoiding the very sensitive center with incredible skill, while exploring every delicate fold within that intricate place between Jane's legs.

She could feel her wetness pool and gasped as Maura tasted her. That talented tongue was tormenting every nerve within Jane's core. Her hips writhed and arched but Maura clasped them firmly in her grip pulling Jane even closer, holding her firmer and still she circled and teased. Every so often she flicked her burning tongue across the top of Jane's clit only to slide away again...slowly she stroked, building the fire...

...Mau..ra... please...

... Maura pulled Jane into her mouth consuming her wholly. Her fingers found there way through silky wet and pushed inside of Jane. Together her mouth and hand became as one; stroking back and forth, pushing in and out. Soft and hard, slow and fast...making a pattern, building a rhythm, of exquisite sensations.

Jane was panting, writhing, crying... the essence of her very being was pulsing with the pressure and a pleasure that was excruciating... she could feel it happening; her body taught with tension, wracked with sweat and trembling with anticipation.

Maura deep inside her. Maura all around her. Two bodies... one within the warmth of Maura's mouth and one within the clasp of Maura's hands. Two bodies, two Jane's, three Jane's... four... five,... six,... and like a kaleidoscope of blurry visions she shattered into a thousand melting pieces...

... ever so slowly, piece by piece... Jane slowly coalesced back into one...

"...Christ... Marua..."

Some little time later Jane's head was nestled between Maura's soft full breasts. She was breathing slower now but her heart was still racing. Maura gently stroked her hair; she felt soft tender lips upon her brow and she heard the whispered words that squeezed her racing heart and made it soar.

" I love you so much..."

Snugging her arms tightly around that incredible waist, nuzzling deeper into that soft fulsome bosom... salty tears were streaming down her cheeks...

"I love you so much, too..."

**Phoebe and Jo Friday**

**5:00 a.m.**

Jo Friday was growling low and intense. "Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr. Grrrrrrrrrrrrr."

Phoebe felt HIM the moment Jo did. HE was outside the house at the front door.

She quietly, but quickly, moved from her bed to the chair in the corner where she had placed her clothes and boots. She stripped off her pajamas and stepped into her jeans. She donned a hooded sweatshirt and laced up her boots while softly calling Jo to come to her. The dog leaped off the bed whimpering with upset and confusion. She patted the dog and gently placed her hand along her side to calm her down.

Phoebe had a way with animals; she sent them feelings like they sent her feelings. She could read their hearts too, but she also had something extra in the way she could make them understand her. A sending. She could send them calm, or happy, or approval, or caution... or loud, or quiet. And that was what she sent to Jo. Quiet. Calm. For now.

"Shssh Jo, don't bark...I'm gonna open my bedroom door and you're gonna go upstairs and get Jane. Shsssh Jo. She verbalized the command quietly more to make herself assured than to help Jo understand. She knew that Jo understood her because she quit growling. Jo's tail was low and between her legs but she understood what Phoebe wanted her to do.

"You can bark when you get to Jane Jo, but not before." She sent the little terrier a sequence of feelings that went like this: Quiet Calm... then Fast(run)...then Jane (sending the heartbeat that Jo recognized as Jane's heartbeat)...then Loud, Excited (bark).

Earlier that evening she had prepared herself. After her fruitless search throughout the house the sense of danger only seemed to increase in its intensity. She placed her clothes upon the chair and took a golf club from the closet where Maura kept her sports equipment. Grabbing the club from beside her night table she slowly opened her bedroom door.

"Go now Jo." And Jo Friday tore like a flash through the living room and up the stairs.

Phoebe positioned herself against the living room wall to the left of the front door. She heard him fudging with lock and wondered briefly why the security alarm did not go off? But then she felt the smugness of his success. He had disarmed it by some clever method and was very proud and sure of himself. The lock clicked open and he slipped into the house moving assuredly through the living room just as Jo Friday started to howl and bark.

He stopped immediately. Shocked. He didn't know about Jo Friday. And Phoebe hit him from behind with the golf club. She was aiming for his head but he heard the motion of her swing and turned in time to lift his arm. He was holding a piece of wood and easily deflected the force of her blow. He was all surprised at first until he saw Phoebe. His heart started to charge... that same excited feeling, the rush he felt just before he murdered Stephen...

Phoebe flung the golf club at him and ran. She bolted for the door just as she felt Jane come charging down the stairway. He was right behind her giving chase. She slammed the door behind her which cut him off for just a second. She could feel him fumbling, struggling to get out. Away from Jane... before he started chasing after her.

Phoebe knew and anticipated this scenario along with several others so she could be prepared. Earlier they walked Jo through the neighborhood and Phoebe mapped the route that she might take in case of flight. She knew that, eventually, he would come, so she prepared herself for what would happen when he did. Phoebe hoped that she could knock him out with the golf club. She hoped that Jane would catch him. But, wishes weren't reality - her hopes had plainly failed and so she ran.

She sprinted as fast as she could through neighbors yards, the twisty turns and back around and finally found the shed that she had marked out earlier. It was in the shadows of a huge tree and surrounded by bushes. She knew the little shack would be impossible to see at night time.

A garden shed; old and worn but most importantly - it had no lock. She glanced back over her shoulder and was relieved she could not see him. She couldn't feel him either but did not rely to keenly on that sense when out of doors. If he got close to her she would feel him. Phoebe pushed between the bushes, feeling for the weathered door and inched her way inside. She sat down on the dirt floor to calm her thoughts, to catch her breath; understanding sadly, knowing in her heart what she must do. She couldn't go back to Maura's house. Not now, not yet. HE would be a danger to Maura... and Jane, if Phoebe continued to stay with them.

Sighing, she leaned her back against the door and settled into waiting for the sunrise. She would do what she had always done before; wander around until she met the right person. Later, she would go back and be with Maura... and Jane - when it was safe for them.

**To Be Continued**

_Thanks again for the reviews and the kind words._

_Interest + Reviews = faster updates_


	11. The Right Person

**I Can Feel Your Heart Beat.**

**Rizzoli & Isles**

**Pairing: Jane Rizzoli/Maura Isles**

**Author: myIllusion**

**Rating: R for later chapters**

_Disclaimer: I do not own the characters-no copyright infringement intended._

_Sorry this is a shorter chapter but I'll have a nice long one up by the weekend. Some of you were concerned about Phoebe so I didn't want to drag this out and make you wait to find out what happens. _

**Chapter XI "The Right Person "**

**Angela Rizzoli**

I don't give a rats ass if Janie gets her knickers in a twist. I am tired of hearin' everything second handed. Frankie says she's stayin' at Maura's, takin care of some weird little teenager that looks like a Vampire and has some kinda special powers. But not "Blood Drinkin'" says Frankie. He says she can tell what ya feel. No, that's not it - she tells ya how ya feel. Well, I can do that. I can tell ya what to think too for that matter.

What nonsense. If Janie and Maura are watchin' out for some kid, I wanna see her and make sure they know what a teenager needs. Frankie says it's some kinda witness protection because they got another serial killer on the loose and he's after this poor kid. Well... Vampire or not, I'm a mother and neither of those two is - so they're goin' to need a little advice.

Angela was giving herself a pep talk on the drive over to Maura's house. She was almost there and was having second thoughts about showing up so early in the morning. The breakfast pie she made would be a good bribe to settle Janie down. Janie loved her breakfast pie and could only stay angry for a little while before she got sidetracked with a big fat slice. Well, it was six already maybe she would park in Maura's drive and wait a half an hour before knockin' on the door.

Maybe those two finally got over their little spat. She hoped so because Maura was the best thing that ever happened to Janie and she hoped that Janie would finally come to her senses and just admit that she loved Maura already. And tell her. God her daughter could be dense as a sack of rocks sometimes. Janie and Maura were the only ones who didn't know they were in love with each other. So, she decided if they hadn't figured it out yet she was goin' to tell them herself. After she got a look at this kid they were watchin' out for.

After turning off on Seymour St. she noticed a small figure, all in black, climbing out of the bushes from the yard of that house with the beautiful Oak tree. The leaves had turned really early on that tree. All those pretty yellows and golds were a whole month earlier than they ought to be. Angela wondered if it was some kinda warning. She always thought the older trees were wiser. That old Oak was getting ready for winter early this year because somthin' bad was comin' - she was sure. Long winter most likely and probably a colder one too. She shivered with the thought before refocusing her attention on that sneaking fellow.

What is that guy hidin' with the hood on that sweatshirt pulled up over his head like that? No, it was a girl Angela decided because of how she was walkin'. All in black. Black jeans, black boots, black sweatshirt...hmmm... didn't Frankie say that girl that Janie and Maura was watchin' was really fond of wearin' black? The kid was marchin' up the sidewalk like she was on some kinda mission. Angela decided to find out what she was doin' up so early and climbin' outta the bushes lookin' so sneaky? She had a feelin' that this kid was the kid she had drove all this way to meet.

Angela drove the car up ahead of the girl about a hundred feet and then pulled over to park. She got out of her car quickly, eased around to the other side and leaned against the passenger door. She hummed to herself while waiting for the girl to approach.

The girl was goin' to march right by her without even a "hey" or a nod. Angela was just about to say somthin' to her when the girl stopped dead in her tracks on the sidewalk. She pulled her hood off and looked straight at Angela. Vampire is a pretty good description Angela mused. She's got that pale white skin and a weird haircut with choppy angles and she's tiny. Her eyes are like pools of black oil and her hair is darker than Janie's. She's a pretty girl though and her eyes are kind.

"Hi honey are you okay?" Angela asked the child because she stood there staring at her with this funny look on her face. She kinda looked real intense and thoughtful but also a little hopeful too.

"Honestly? Do you really want to know the answer to that question?"

The kid was real straight forward. That was somthin' Angela rarely heard and she had an appreciation for people who were straight forward so she nodded at the girl and answered her question in the same manner.

"Of course I wanna know, I wouldn't ask if I didn't."

The kid nodded at her and then she smiled. A lopsided smile that was filled with humor and just adorable.

"Um... okay... I'm kinda in a bind. I have to get out of this neighborhood real fast because there's this crazy man who tried to kill me last night. I was staying with some real nice friends and he broke into the house and tried to hit me with a two by four... um... I ran out of the house so he would chase me cuz I didn't want him to hurt my friends.

The girl was ramblin' her sentences together and breathin' real fast but Angela was followin' her story so far. She nodded at the child and urged her to continue.

"Uh huh...keep goin', I'm followin' ya so far."

"Well... um... I got away from him and hid in that garden shed behind the bushes... but I don't wanna go back to my friends house because that guy is going to keep coming back until he gets me. I don't want him to hurt my friends... or Jo or Bass either."

That was the clincher for Angela when the girl mentioned Jo and Bass. This was Janie and Maura's teenager who was plannin' on slippin' away to keep them safe. Sigh. She took a big breath before she spoke with the child. She tried to convey as much warmth and sincerity into her voice as was possible. She really wanted this girl to trust her so she could get her home and safe.

"Okay honey. I tell ya what. Why don't you come with me? I'll get you out of this neighborhood in my car. We can go back to my house and talk about what you wanna do. How does that sound sweetie?"

The girl flashed that crooked smile before she softly said...

..."I'd like that...um... but I don't want to call the police. Not right away. Not until we find out if they caught him...maybe they caught him."

And there was a wispy sad sound in her voice that spoke volumes to Angela. The girl didn't really think the guy was caught but she so hoped it was so. It made Angela' heart squeeze tight.

"Okay honey, just hop in and we can talk on the way. What's your name sweetie? My name is Angela."

And she smiled at the child with all her heart. This kid is such a doll and the poor thing. Angela shuddered at the tale the girl just told. But the kids got spunk for sure. She's more worried about Janie and Maura than her own self. Janie and Maura are gonna be freakin' out. She was gonna have to be real careful how she handled this. She didn't wanna spook the kid into runnin' off again but she was gonna have to let Janie know about this somehow.

The girl smiled at her across the top of her car. Those eyes are so expressive Angela thought to herself. And old. The girls eyes look as though she is a hundred years old... and she's got a hundred years of goodness to go with them. Tears welled up in Angela's eyes just thinkin' about this child and what she went through.. and not just last night either... Angela knew with eyes like that you had to go through terrible stuff.

"Phoebe...my name is Phoebe."

"Okay Phoebe honey... lets go home...put your seat belt on."

**Jane **

The only thing that was keeping Maura from completely losing her mind right now was the note they found scrawled on the door of that old shack in the Hendersons yard.

Earlier in that same morning Jane had chased that bastard down the street but had to stop when she skidded on a piece of glass slicing her foot wide open. She had also been completely naked. Naked with a gun running through Maura's neighborhood screaming like a wild woman.

Jo Friday was going out of her mind outside Maura's bedroom door waking them both from a deep and peaceful sleep. When Jane opened the door she could hear noises downstairs, and coupled with Jo's howling, all she could think to do was grab her gun and run.

Phoebe was gone and Maura was devastated and practically paralyzed with fear for the girl. Jane was too but she had to keep her wits together; one of them had to. Officer Silva was found dead on the ground outside the unmarked police car. His skull was crushed but no murder weapon was left behind because the bastard had carried it into Maura's house with him. Silva had been alone on duty because the department needed his partner Jimmy Harris for a stakeout that evening.

"Fuck" Jane swore out loud when she looked at the old weathered door the note was scrawled on. This was a fucking God damn mess that kept growing in size and Jane felt a certain amount of panic setting in. Maura's neighborhood was swimming with cops going door to door to see if they might find Phoebe. Also to see if anyone had witnessed anything in the early morning.

The Hendersons had waved an officer over into their yard. They hadn't seen anything untoward, but noticed the door to their garden shed had been left open and that someone had scratched a message on the door. They were certain it hadn't been there before.

"I'll come back when it's safe for both of you." And below that a giant,

"P"

Phoebe had used a rusty nail to scratch the message onto the door. She rubbed dirt over the scratches to make it look like it was old and had been there for a while. The girl was smart. Anyone who looked at that would think it had been there for years and wouldn't really pay it any mind if they were looking for her in that shed. Jane could only hope that Phoebe did, in fact, escape cleanly and that bastard hadn't followed her to this hiding place.

Fully clothed with her foot bandaged and limping, she thanked the Hendersons and told Frankie to take a picture of the door. She wanted to show the image to Maura but it was also evidence. Not really part of the crime scene but Jane wanted everything documented from the events of this early morning of hell. There was definitely a crime scene at Maura's home and she hated every fucking part of her job in this very moment.

All she wanted to do was be with Maura... and Phoebe. The thought almost assaulted her. She couldn't believe how fast that incorrigible child had wormed her way into her heart, nor the panic stricken emotions she was trying to control so she could find the girl. Keeping herself icy calm was what made her good at her job. Always before she was able to rein in her anger, her passion and use these emotions as tools to drive her forward into a case. Now she felt fractured and torn and terrified because it felt so very personal. She admitted to herself right then. Phoebe was family. She was reacting to this as though it were Frankie, or her Ma, or Pop...or Maura.

With that realization she limped back down the street to comfort Maura.

**Harold**

Harold was livid. That wretched girl had gotten away and that crazy Detective had chased him through the streets stark naked. He had wanted to search for the child but could not take the chance with that insane naked cop running around with her gun screaming obscenities and waking the whole neighborhood up.

He sprinted back to his Subaru, which he had parked several blocks away and was glad of his precaution. He drove calmly through the streets so as not to draw attention to himself or his vehicle and headed to the safety of his storage facility.

He needed to get back on schedule. He could no longer take the risk of hunting the girl at the Medical Examiners home. He would ignore that problem for now and finish with his original timeline. He only had one more sacrifice to find for this current cycle and then he could lay low for awhile. Later, when things quieted down he would go back and find the girl.

**To Be Continued**

_Thanks to those of you who have left me a note of encouragement. _

Interest + reviews = faster chapters


	12. Phone Calls and Memories

**I Can Feel Your Heart Beat.**

**Rizzoli & Isles**

**Pairing: Jane Rizzoli/Maura Isles**

**Author: myIllusion**

**Rating: R for later chapters**

_Disclaimer: I do not own the characters-no copyright infringement intended._

_This is a bit of everything. Angela and Frank and Phoebe. A bit of Maura and Jane and I felt a need to explain a bit about Harold. I Hope it doesn't creep you all out too much but I wanted to define his behavior a bit so the case can get solved. There will be a bit more action in the next chapter... hope you stick around to see what happens._

**Chapter XII " Phone Calls and Memories "**

**Angela, Phoebe, Frank Sr.**

This kid was goin' to be a challenge for sure. Angela snorted at the thought. Never before had she met someone so intent on cuttin' through the bullshit - except for herself of course.

Angela parked Phoebe at the kitchen table, placed a huge slice of breakfast pie and a glass of milk in front of her and told her to, "eat, I'll be right back... I'm gonna go get my husband Frank so ya can meet him and not have any surprises."

She fled through the house yellin' "Frank, where are ya" All the while she was removing every picture of Janie and Frankie from the walls in the hall, the living room and Janie and Frankie's old bedrooms. She didn't want the girl to see a photo of Janie or Frankie on the wall and high tail it outta here before she even got her feet dry. Angela wanted this kid to feel safe and she knew that Phoebe would bolt as soon as she found out Angela was Janie's Ma. The kid was hell bent on keepin' Janie and Maura safe and Angela sensed that protective nature would extend to Janie's family as well.

She found Frank Sr. in the garage tinkerin' with some old pipes. He turned around to face her with a look of concern and worry.

"Frank, I'm gonna talk fast and I want you to listen." She had her arms full of framed photographs and the two photo albums from the coffee table in the living room.

"You gotta box out here I can put these in?"

Frank shook his head at Angela and laughed derisively.

"That's it Angela? You're gonna talk fast because ya need a box? And that's the big thing that's so important I gotta listen to? The whole neighborhood could hear ya screamin' 'Frank, where are ya?' like someone died, you almost give me a heart attack and all ya need is a box? Ya got me all worried thinkin' somethin' happened to Janie or Frankie Jr. for a box?"

"Of course not Frank, now shut-up and listen."

She wandered over to his work bench and dumped the box of scrap pipes Frank was sorting through onto the surface of the table creating a clang and a bangle of pipe noises.

"This 'ell do." And she carefully placed her trove of memorabilia into the now empty container before turning back around to explain things to her very exasperated husband.

"I got that girl that Janie and Maua's been watchin' in the kitchen eatin' breakfast pie. She was runnin' off this mornin' cuz that nut case who's chasin' her tried to kill her last night. She got away from him but don't wanna go back to Janie and Maura cuz she's afraid he'll hurt them."

Frank could only listen for so long without feeling a need to interrupt.

"What are ya talkin' about Angela? Ya sound like ya lost your mind already."

"No Frank listen."

Her voice took on a tone of desperation that Frank had rarely heard. She always tended to over dramatize everything but this was real fear he could hear in her voice and see in her eyes...so he did what she asked. He shut-up and listened.

"We can't tell her we're Janie's parents or she'll take off again... please Frank just go along with me on this until I kin talk her into feelin' safe here. Janie and Maura are gonna be worried and scared unless they know this kid is safe. Accordin' to Frankie she's been runnin' her whole life Frank. I want her to feel safe here until Janie can catch this bastard they been lookin' for."

And just as she finished that last sentence she heard a soft determined voice from the doorway of the garage.

"You're holding something back Angela, some part of truth that belongs to me somehow...of course I can't tell what it is but I know that you are hiding something... but what? I knew you would be a good connection for me. I felt it on the sidewalk. I was all set to walk right by you... but then I felt your concern and your capacity for love... it's enormous. Fierce too, but really big and strong. But you aren't telling me something. I can feel you won't hurt me but you didn't tell me something. You've got a secret that concerns me but I can't figure out how... or why?"

Phoebe was standing in the doorway with her hands thrust into her jean pockets, her head was tilted to the side a bit, staring intensely at Angela and waiting for an answer. She shifted her gaze to Frank and smiled at him - happy with what she saw. He had a good heart too. Every bit as fierce as Angela's but in a softer way. She still wanted to know what they were hiding though.

Angela turned to face the child. She put her hands on her hips and snorted out loud.

"You're really somethin' kid. Okay... you're right, I am hidin' somethin' cuz I don't want you takin' off again. I don't want you out there on the streets with that nut case huntin' ya down. If I promise to tell ya what I'm hidin' later... say in two days, will ya stay here with us? I promise Phoebe. I would never do nothin' to hurt you, I just want you safe and off the streets."

Phoebe felt a little ashamed at making Angela defend herself. She blew a puff of air at her bangs while she was thinking her way through the assorted feelings she was sensing.

Angela was feeling excited, determined, protective, and desperate. It was the desperate flutter that had Phoebe confused. She desperately wanted Phoebe to stay... not in a lonely way. Lots of people in Phoebe's past had been so lonely that they had desperately wanted her to continue staying with them... but this wasn't that. It was some other kind of desperation. More of a protective, frightened worry about her... and Angela's protective need was really intense. More than Phoebe would think normal for a first meeting, almost like she knew Phoebe already and was really attached to the idea of her staying...like family...almost.

She knew Angela would never hurt her that was why she agreed to go with her. But she could feel the big secret she was hiding and she knew the secret was about her, specifically, and that was confusing. How could Angela have that kind of secret about Phoebe when they had only just met? But she trusted Angela, she really liked her and she felt like she should be here for some reason. The same way she felt she belonged at Maura's house. There was a sense of "rightness" in the presence of Angela... and Frank. Whom she hadn't even said one word to yet. With that last thought running through her mind she walked into the room, pulled her hand out of her pocket and reached out to Frank.

"Hi, my name is Phoebe... and ... um... it's really nice to meet you."

Frank smiled down at the strange looking girl. She was the most self assured child he had ever met. Her eyes were deep and piercing with their honesty. The grin she wore was sheepish but sincere. He clasped her hand and shook it firmly.

"The feelin's mutual... Phoebe. I'm Frank." And he returned her sheepish grin with one filled up with mischief.

Phoebe turned away from Frank to smile back at Angela - her lopsided smile.

"Alright Angela, two days and you will tell me your secret?"

Deal, Frank thought. This kid was a piece a work. Angie picks up a stray and somehow he was feeling lucky the kid agreed to stay with them. How did she do that? What a charmer. He would have to keep his eye on her to see how she worked. This Phoebe already had Angela wrapped around her little finger and that was no easy task. He laughed out loud and then snorted with appreciation for the kids moxie.

Angela shook her finger sternly at the girl but smiled none the less before declaring.

"You drive a hard bargain kid... now, come with me I wanna show ya your bedroom. My daughter moved away and don't need to use it no more so ya can stay here as long as ya like sweetie."

And with that she escorted Phoebe out of the garage to show her Janie's old bedroom.

**Jane and Maura + one phone call.**

**Later that evening.**

Maura sat on Phoebe's bed and scanned the room looking for clues that might alleviate her current state of helplessness. The girl had run out of the house wearing jeans, a sweatshirt and her boots. Maura's photographic memory processed every piece of clothing that was left behind and matched it against what was missing. Phoebe had neatly folded her new clothes and placed them in her dresser with great care. The bed was tousled from the hasty awakening, but other than that, Maura found nothing that would indicate that Phoebe had been hurt during the early morning encounter.

The golf club on the living room floor was an indication that Phoebe had taken some preventative steps of her own. The bloody hunk of two by four the killer dropped while trying to flee from Jane had almost stopped her heart. But after doing a quick survey of the room, she understood the lack of any blood pools or spatter meant the blood on the piece of wood could not be Phoebe's. Shortly thereafter, they had found officer Silva dead on the ground next to his vehicle.

Jane came into the room and sat on the bed next to her. She wrapped her arm around Maura's shoulder and pulled her close. She felt soft lips upon her forehead and then a gentle whisper.

"We'll find her Maur-, I promise we'll find her. "

Sigh.

Maura felt a tiny surge of anger in the pit of her stomach and her body tensed under Jane's comforting arm. She knew it wasn't Jane's fault but a part of her was looking for someone to blame. If they hadn't installed that stupid Vibra Block in Phoebe's room... maybe Phoebe would have found her way upstairs instead of fleeing through the front door. Maybe she would have had more time if her senses hadn't been muffled. And, Maura thought... she wouldn't have altered Phoebe's room if Jane had not been so uncomfortable...

...but then she turned the blame unto herself. If she had not been in such a rush to jump in bed with Jane... they wouldn't have had that worry. She was the one who wanted everything. She had wanted Jane and made that very clear. And she had wanted Phoebe to stay in her home. For herself, because she had been so lonely and the girl had filled a need. Jane had filled a need. She pushed to make things happen as she wanted them... so she could have them both. And now, Phoebe was in danger. Phoebe could be lying dead or injured somewhere and it was all her fault.

Hot tears were streaming down her cheeks again, her shoulders were heaving as she tried to stifle the overwhelming sadness that threatened to consume her. Jane pulled her fully into her arms and begged her to let go.

"Maura sweetie... let it out now...I've got you Maur-... don't hold back... go ahead and cry Maura..."

And finally she did. Sobbing onto Jane's shoulder she allowed herself to grieve in Phoebe's room. Gasping and mumbling that it was all her fault and praying to God. A God she didn't believe in to please, please, please... let that precious child be safely hidden somewhere.

Jane's cell phone started to ring bringing Maura out of the depths into the present moment. She felt lighter for having cried. Not better but she knew the burden wasn't only hers to carry. Jane was hurting just as much as she and together they would make things come out alright. She had to believe that.

Sniffle. "Jane... shouldn't you answer your phone? It could be Frost or Korsak with an update."

Jane hugged Maura more tightly before releasing one of her arms to pull her cell phone out of her pocket and glanced at the number of the caller.

"Oh Christ, it's my mother. I can't deal with her right now."

"No Jane." Maura grabbed her wrist and shook it, " Answer it honey... she'll just keep calling until you do. I don't want the important calls getting blocked because you are ignoring hers. Just tell her you'll call her back."

Jane nodded at her girlfriend, rolled her eyes and flipped the phone open.

"Ma...I can't talk right now I'm on a real important case and can't tie my cell pho-..."

_"I got Phoebe stayin' with me Janie." _

Angela cut her off because she knew Janie was going to dump that standard explanation into the phone and say, 'I'll call ya back' and then hang up on her. And she never would call back so Angela just spilled the beans before Janie could hang up.

And then there was total silence over the miles of cellular telephone space that Angela envisioned. Janie's perplexity was being transmitted through the tiny waves of molecules...just as sure as her voice would be if she was sayin' anything at all.

Phoebe was tucked into Janie's old bedroom already. That poor kid was beat and hadn't gotten a lick of sleep the night before. She'd eaten a good dinner and then asked if she could go to bed. Just like that. So straight forward and honest and really a pleasure to have around. She even went back out to the garage and helped Frank sort through his pipes. That couldn'ta been too exciting for her but at dinner time she and Frank were carryin' on as though they had a treasure trove of golden eggs or somthin'.

Go figure... oh Janie stopped being stunned outta her socks and was yellin' somethin' back at her. She needed to stop gatherin' wool and listen for a second.

_"What honey?"_

"Ma... ma... Christ ma... did you just say you have Phoebe with you?"

"Hrumph...no need to swear at me Janie. I was headed over to Maura's with some breakfast pie this mornin' and saw this kid sneakin' outta the bushes. You know that house that's got the big Oak tr..-"

"MA!..Christ, just tell me that you have Phoebe...please tell me she's okay?"

And Angela heard the tension and fear in Janie's voice and decided she didn't need to give her all the details just now.

_"Shhsssh sweetie, yes the girl is fine. I found her and brought her home. She was runnin' cuz she was terrified that monster was gonna hurt you and Maura."_

"Thank God Ma... thank God. Can I come and get her?"

Maura was pulling on Jane's arm and wanting the phone. Her hazel eyes were filled with joy and hope at the part of the conversation she could decipher but she wanted to talk to Angela herself. Finally, she just ripped the phone away from Jane.

"Angela?"

_"Oh... Maura honey. You don't need to worry but you need to know that Phoebe doesn't know I'm Janie's Ma. She's so scared that guy is gonna hurt you two she thinks it's best to stay away altogether. I thought if she knew I was Janie's Ma she would run from me too. I think it's best if ya let her stay with me for a couple days. Safer for her too, I think...until ya catch that asshole."_

"But we've got her clothes and things here Angela, all she has is that sweatshirt and jeans. How did you find her Ange..-"

_"Don't worry honey, I'm gonna take her shoppin' tomorrow and get her some stuff. She gets along fine with Frank Sr. too... oh and tell Janie to tell Frankie not to come over for a couple days. Phoebe knows him too. Now Maura honey can I talk to Janie for a second? I got somethin' I wanna tell her sweetie. _

"Okay,... and Angela... thank you... thank you so much..."

Maura handed the phone back to Jane and lay back on Phoebe's bed with a huge sigh of relief. Happy tears were flowing now and they felt so much better than the tears of sorrow.

" Thanks Ma... I can't tell you how much this means to me and Mau- "

_" I know Janie now listen... Phoebe told me the friends she was stayin' with was a nice lesbian couple. She said they was fightin' when she met them but they worked their problems out when she was there and they were really gettin' happy. _

_That's what she told me Janie. So... I want you to know that I am so glad that you finally had the guts to tell Maura how you really feel... and that me and your Pop are both so happy for you girls. You have our blessing of course, and we want you and Maura to come over for Sunday dinner - if ya catch this guy before then... Okay honey?" _

And then the line went silent again. Angela pictured more of Janie's perplexity crawlin' along those miles of cellular molecules or whatever they were... Janie's utter confusion creepin' along the invisible wavelengths in super slow motion. She had to stifle a chortle at the thought...

"...sigh...okay Ma..."

_"Good honey... I'll call ya tomorrow to let ya know how we're all doin.'"_

_Click._

Sigh.

**Harold**

Harold was relieved he had the foresight to take a practice weapon with him. Had he spoiled his fourth piece of ash on an unintended sacrifice he would need to start the cycle anew. That unfortunate police officer had to be "brought home" and he felt a little strange for having done so. But, Harold told himself... he had been protecting that girl... that freak of nature so he was just as guilty in his sin.

Harold had no compunction about the need to bring the child Home to God. She was just as much an abomination as his chosen were. He ran his hands over the fourth piece of timber reverently. Caressing the last piece of two by four. It was precisely three feet in length. Just as the other three. And now, he had only one more sacrifice to choose.

The years of holding back had taken their toll on Harold. Now that he had finally found the courage to follow through on this assignment he was almost sad that it would soon be over.

The doctors had been wrong about him. He felt a smug sense of confidence at his success in deceiving them. He had slowly weaned himself off of the medication. His thoughts were clearer now. And his instructions were clear now too. He had energy and power. Power from God above. The doctors had betrayed him and so had his parents. All those years of living in a veiled stupor... but they hadn't been able to completely bury him in witless conformity.

He had practiced his art. He had honed his ability to stalk his prey. He had become a competent member of the community. His job provided him the means he needed to blend in. His trust fund the extra means to further his plan. And now, almost completely free from years of supervising authorities he had grabbed his opportunity.

Tomorrow he would finish this cycle. After, he would go back on the medication so he could pass his final drug test... and then he would be free. Free to pursue his mission without constraint.

His storage facility was well ordered. Each of his tools were numbered and belonged in a specific location within the shop. He had Four Task Sections. The number Four was Holy and Divine. Task Section One was for his drafting and planning. Task Section Two was for his application of tools and weapon making. Task Section Three was for practice with his weapon. And Task Section Four was for the preparation and presentation of his trophies.

Harold looked upon his first trophy and found himself remembering the cause of all his trouble. This time it was different, however, the memory did not disturb him...it excited him.

_They had just finished baseball practice and coach asked him to put the equipment away. "Don't forget the bases Harold." Coach had hollered and then climbed into his jeep and drove off. Sighing heavily Harold ran back onto the diamond to collect the bases. Donny Benson was waiting for him when he got back to the equipment shed._

_"I'll help you Harold," he'd said with a grin that was sweet and scary at the same time._

_Harold didn't really understand why but Donny made him nervous. A funny kind of nervous with squigglies in his stomach. He dreamt about Donny sometimes - late at night and got himself off just thinking about the handsome pitcher. He was the best player on the team. An all star pitcher with the best batting average in the league, which was unheard of. Everybody knew that pitcher's were crummy batters. But not Donny. _

_"That's okay Donny I'm done already... I just have to put the bases away."_

_But Donny followed him into the shed anyway and stood there watching Harold while he placed the bases on the back shelf. He closed the door to the shed and said,_

_"Maybe you can help me Harold. I need some help to get ready for tomorrow's game and Jessica is outta town right now... she always blows me before a game Harold. That's my good luck ya know. I can't pitch worth a damn unless I get a blow job Harold." _

_The whole time that Donny was talking he was unbuttoning his practice pants and pulling out his "member." _

_"Whaddaya say Harold?... I think ya can help me." And Harold did. He wanted to. He realized in that very moment how much he really wanted to help Donny Benson._

_When it was all over Donny buttoned up his pants and snickered. _

_"I knew you were a faggot Harold. Just so ya know, I ain't. Everyone knows that faggots love to blow a guy. I don't mind you replacing Jessica once in awhile but you tell anyone and I'll beat you bloody. No one would believe ya anyway." And then Donny laughed at him and pulled the door to the shed open. _

_Harold was still on his knees where Donny had forced him down onto the dirt floor. And suddenly a rage of fury swamped him like a giant wave. He grabbed a wooden bat from one of the open bags and chased after Donny. _

_When it was over his hands were full of blood and Donny was dead on the ground. Unrecognizable. Harold had hit him so many times the bat had cracked in two and some of the splinters were ground into the palms of his hands. _

_He dropped the broken bat and ran home. He showered and tossed his bloody practice uniform into the waste basket in his bedroom. He sat down on his bed and methodically pulled the splinters out of his hands. One by one, with tiny tweezers he placed them in an envelope for safe keeping. After some careful thought he walked over to his bookshelf and found his bible. He placed the envelope between the pages of the scripture he most often read._

_The police came to his house that evening; he was just fourteen years old. His parents hired a lawyer and got a Doctor who declared him Schizophrenic and his records had been sealed. Years later, he was released from juvenile detention when he turned eighteen. And... so long as he took his medication he was free to start anew. _

Harold gazed upon the little ornate display case. Seven bloody splinters from that bat were pressed between two pieces of glass and framed with polished Mahogany - etched with a pattern of his own design. He'd laid the splinters out in quarter inch spaces. The pattern was arched like a fan. Attached to the back of the little frame was a tiny light.

Harold switched the light on. He placed this first, this most revered of his trophies back into the center of his display table. He flipped the lights on all the little cases. He needed just one more for his collection to be complete. He strode over to the light switch of his shop and turned it off. Smiling, he sat back upon the stool to admire his presentation in the dark. One in the center, one to the right, one up above, and one to the left; each lit up, glowing in the dark and brightening his sanctuary. One more to go and he would be finished. For now. For this month. He could start all over again next month.

But not before he got that girl. Phoebe. He would "Bring her home to God" like these others. Abominations.

**Maura**

Back at the morgue from the latest scene and the third victim; Maura studied the pieces of wood more carefully. Three pieces were identical. The fourth was different. The fourth piece had come from the crime scene at her home and had come from a pine timber. The other three had come from a timber of white ash. Initially she had missed the importance of the chafing near the base - she'd noticed it of course but had not focused on its significance. Those rough abraided edges had been intentionally inflicted.

The killer would have multiple splinters from this grip and the force applied while striking something. He had intentionally altered the wood in each section where he placed his grip. He wanted to have splinters? She silently asked herself. Why? The palms of his hands would have scarring from such use - on both sides where his clasp would hold on tight. She picked up her phone to call Jane.

Now that she and Jane knew that Phoebe was safe with Angela they were very focused and determined to catch this bastard. Maura didn't even bother to filter her language when she thought about the creep who had turned their lives upside down.

They had come into work early only to be called to another scene. The park was lovely in the early morning. The sunrise was a glowing red orb declaring sailors warning but beautiful all the same. The birds were tweeting and squirrels scurried along the branches chittering their annoyance at being disturbed. The trees and scrub were thick along the path until they reached a tiny oval clearing.

And there it was; a crumpled mound, twisted from a sudden awkward fall. Bathed in the eerie red glow of a day forewarned with storm. Looking like a prop from a second rate horror film - the body of a third victim had been found. The body of Paul. The sweet young man from Moon Fabrication.

**To Be Continued**

_Thanks to those of you who have left me a note of encouragement. _

Interest + reviews = faster chapters.


	13. Captive

**I Can Feel Your Heart Beat.**

**Rizzoli & Isles**

**Pairing: Jane Rizzoli/Maura Isles**

**Author: myIllusion**

**Rating: R for later chapters**

_Disclaimer: I do not own the characters-no copyright infringement intended._

_Sorry for the long wait on this update... my JOB took over my life this week and I had no time to write. This is a short chapter but I promise to have a longer one complete by mid-week. _

**Chapter XIII "Captive "**

**Maura**

"I should have called to let her know." Maura was talking to herself while driving through the upscale neighborhood, carefully scanning the house numbers as she neared her destination. She was in the fifteen hundred block and the house should be up there on the left, just past this little playground. She pulled into the parking lot of the playground and watched the children for several moments before deciding what she should do.

Two little girls were on the swings and a third was behind giving them each a shove. All three were screaming with delight as the arc the swings were making increased and the centripetal force pulled upon their tiny bodies. She smiled fondly at the children playing with such abandon and freedom.

"Higher... higher... highhhhher." One of the girls was shrieking at the top of her lungs as the girl who was doing the pushing increased the force of her shove, which propelled the screaming child into a dangerously high trajectory.

No one had ever pushed her on a swing that she could remember. She'd had a swing in her backyard as a child but her parents hadn't thought to help her enjoy it. She'd swung herself of course, and that had been pleasant. But watching these three made her realize why she never really spent much time on her own swing. With no one to laugh and scream and urge you to go "higher," it had been a lonely experience that was filled with melancholy.

She most often sat alone on her swing set digging her toe into the ground, swaying gently back and forth and thinking about something other than swinging. Sadly, it became her place to be alone and pretend to play to make her parents believe she actually enjoyed the activity. As an afterthought she realized her parents probably hadn't noticed at all. As long as she maintained a perfect school report and was not underfoot they didn't bother noticing what she did with her spare time.

Shaking her head to clear the dreary thoughts she pondered her current actions. Jane will be very angry with her. But, if she had disclosed her intentions Jane would have told her no. The investigation had taken on a life of its own. Undercover officers were staking out every gay establishment within the city. Each armed with the sketch of the man that Phoebe had described. A man by the name of Harold.

This fact had been gleaned from the interviews of the work crew from Moon Fabrication. This Harold had been invited to watch the installation at Maura's home; he apparently befriended Paul directly after Maura and Phoebe departed Moon Fabrication on that afternoon. That enlightening fact had shocked Jane to the core.

But not Maura. Not really. She should have paid more attention to what Phoebe had been doing and not saying on the evening following the installation. Phoebe had roamed around the house looking into every room with a very worried expression on her face. She had scanned the closets and had even taken the ladder from the garage upstairs to check out the crawl space in the attic. Maura had wanted to question the girl but didn't want her to feel as though she couldn't explore her new environment. Maura always behaved similarly herself. Change had always made her uncomfortable so she inspected every nook and cranny of any new environment she would be spending time within.

In hindsight she understood that Phoebe had felt unsafe. Unsafe and could sense something perhaps. The little microphone they discovered on the keypad of Maura's home security system had shed new light on how Harold had so easily bypassed her alarm to break into the house. They had the man's DNA but not his fingerprints, which led Maura to believe that he knew exactly what he was doing. His fingerprints were in the system but his DNA was not. The act of spitting was an indulgence he could afford. His methods were strange but also very deliberate and goal oriented. He used a different piece of timber to kill officer Silva, which supported her belief that he would use that fourth piece of white ash on a victim he had already stalked. Someone he would have already met and was waiting for the proper time to strike. A time frame only he would know or understand.

Which was why Maura found herself a block away from Harold's house. She intended to knock on the door and confirm her suspicions. After completing the autopsy of Paul and speaking to Jane about the different types of wood that had been used in the murders she did some online research. Fraxinus Americana, or more commonly - White Ash; was known as the "all american leisure wood" because of it's predominance as the desired source for baseball bats, pool cues and canoe paddles.

This led Maura on an afternoon tour of lumberyards. Armed with her own sketch of Harold; Maura interviewed every lumberyard attendant in the district until she found the man who had sold Harold the timber. Twelve pieces of of twelve foot lengths of two by four. Four of them were White Ash and eight of them were Pine. After some harmless flirting she had wrangled the address by which the timber had been delivered. The name was illegible but the address was not. The order had been paid in cash. The unreadable nature of the scrawled signature was blatantly suspect.

Maura's only intent was to knock on Harold's door. If the man that answered looked like the man in the sketch she would leave immediately and call Jane. She would not allow herself to go into his home and it was still daylight. The neighborhood was busy with people outside in their yards and children at play. She would not come to any harm. Also, she had her Smith and Wesson in her purse. Vince had shown her how to use it and practiced with her at the firing range.

She had tried to get Jane to listen to her earlier and they had a very upsetting quarrel. Jane had been impatient with her and curt. Maura did not like the tone Jane used as it brought to the forefront of her memory the months of misunderstanding they had recently overcome.

_"Maura you are not the lead investigator on this case. I am. Have you forgotten that part? Your job is to do the autopsy and get me the evidence. My job is to find the guy."_

_Jane had paced around the morgue gesturing wildly. She ran her fingers through her wild hair, a gesture she used often just before she really lost her temper, and then she swore._

_"Fuck! God Damn Maura, I know this is frustrating but I can't spare anyone right now to run around the lumberyards on a hunch. We can do that tomorrow if we don't have any luck tonight. This guy is on the hunt. We agree on that part Maur-... and I want to catch him tonight if I can. All my guys are setting up at the gay clubs, the gyms and the galleries... we're stretched out too thin as it is." _

_"But Jane if we can confirm that he bought this lumber locally they may have a delivery address or a last name on a receipt. That could lead us to him... instead of flailing around in every bar in town waiting for him to come to us...or scaring him off."_

_"No Maura. I already told you. You do your job and let me do mine. Christ. I can't deal with this right now."_

_At that point in their conversation Maura turned her back on Jane. She didn't want Jane to see her crying. Unfortunately, she was unable to hide her shaking shoulders or the involuntary gasp released from the effort of trying to hold back her emotions. _

_"Are you crying?"_

_Maura shook her head no._

_And suddenly, two slender but very strong arms encircled her from behind. Jane turned her around enfolding her in an embrace. She kissed the top of her head and whispered into her ear. _

_"I'm sorry Maura. I know how badly you want to catch this guy. I want that too. I want Phoebe back and safe with you... with us. I want that more than anything. _ _Please trust me Maura. We will catch him. I promise."_

_She nodded in agreement and buried herself in Jane's chest._

_"Maura... Maura...look at me."_

_Maura lifted her head, still reeling from Jane's impatience and frustration but understanding that it had more to deal with the stress of the case than anything that she had done. _

_"I love you Maura... I'm sorry if I spoke harshly... I don't want to do that with you ever again... please forgive me Maura... "_

_Meeting a gaze as potent with emotion as her own, Maura surrendered her feelings of doubt. She melted under the sincerity that shone in the liquid like depths of chocolate brown; it bathed her heart with love and warmth. Everything was okay again. Jane had promised to always talk things through with her. She was doing that now so Maura could let it go... even if she didn't agree with Jane she knew that Jane was trying._

_"... I love you too...it's okay Jane... I know how frustrated you are. You go now. I'll just get back to the evidence and call you if I discover anything new."_

Jane had kissed her tenderly and left with the reassurance that all would be well between them. And, Maura felt that it would be but she would not be deterred from the course she had already plotted. She could not blame Jane for refusing to follow her logic but, at the same time; she would not ignore her own instincts. More than anything else she wanted to be done with this fear. She wanted Phoebe back and safe within her home. So, she pretended to go along with Jane and privately made her own plans to track the killer.

She stepped out of her car, locked the doors and proceeded the rest of the way on foot. Maura tried to distract herself from a case of sudden nerves by identifying the trees that lined the streets of this seemingly innocuous neighborhood.

"Acer rubrum, Acer saccharum, Quercus pallustris, Ulmus Americana."

"Maple, Oak and Elm." Someone had spoken from behind her and she hadn't heard their footsteps on the sidewalk.

She attempted to turn around quickly to address the stranger but it was too late. He had quickly stepped up beside her and taken her arm by the elbow; as if to escort her along the path. He was tall with light brown hair and chilly brown eyes. He had the barrel of a gun pushed into her ribs as he guided her to his home; he was wearing a pleasant smile and talking to her as though they were old friends.

His smile was naturally warm but Maura could see the absence of such in his eyes, which were rich in color but as deadly void of feelings as those of a shark.

"You should not have come here Dr. Isles."

He shook his head sadly as he guided her through a little gate, which opened to a narrow sidewalk leading to the entrance of his home.

"Georgian Colonial." Maura murmured and nodded her head as though that made perfect sense.

She had one last fleeting thought before Harold shoved her roughly through the front door.

_Jane is going to be really angry with me._

**To Be Continued**

_Don't throw stuff. I promise to have a longer update soon._

_Thanks to those of you who have left me a note of encouragement._

_Please read and review... it helps to know there is still interest in the story._


	14. Rescue

**I Can Feel Your Heart Beat.**

**Rizzoli & Isles**

**Pairing: Jane Rizzoli/Maura Isles**

**Author: myIllusion**

**Rating: M for later chapters**

_Disclaimer: I do not own the characters-no copyright infringement intended._

_Again, sorry it took so long for the update, real life always gets in the way... but this chapter is a bit longer and I'm hoping you will all see it as a holiday gift. _

**Chapter XIV "Rescue "**

**Korsak**

Vince Korsak could not believe what he just witnessed. Their perp just ambushed Maura from behind. The bastard had a gun to her ribs; he was using her elbow to shield the weapon and forcing her through a garden gate which led to an old Colonial home. Jesus.

Earlier that day, before the task force meeting, Jane had pulled him aside with a request.

_"Vince you got a minute?" She was pacing nervously in the hall outside the bullpen and running her fingers through her wild hair. He could feel the tension emanating from her body; like rings of heat wavering off a steaming sidewalk._

_He would never deny his former partner a moment of his time. He gave her shit and pushed her buttons at every opportunity but that was all for show. When things got serious he had Jane's back. After Hoyt's attack on Jane she requested a new partner and Vince had been profoundly hurt. He'd felt betrayed and unappreciated, but then she had explained herself to him. _

_Her eyes were filled with terror still, as she remembered what Hoyt had done. Vince understood; it wasn't his fault, but every time that Jane was in his presence was a painful reminder of that awful day and how he found her. She'd been pinned to the floor like a butterfly specimen. He shook his head sadly and couldn't blame Jane for her need to change the formula. And, they still got to work together on cases so he settled for being her friend first._

_"VINCE!"_

_"Sorry Jane... just gathering a bit of wool... what's on your mind?.. You seem really wound up tight."_

_She snorted. "I'm always wound up, you know that...but seriously... um... Maura is up to something and I want you to keep an eye on her today."_

_"What? Are you kidding me Jane? With this operation we got going you want me to babysit the Medical Examiner? Why? Maura is very capable of watching out for herself and besides how much trouble can she get into down in the morgue? "_

_"I know this is gonna sound nuts Vince but trust me... she's up to something and I can't risk leaving her on her own today." Jane sighed heavily, momentarily halting the frenzied pace to stare at the floor. _

_"You're going to have to do better than that Jane... what's going on? Really? I know you're in charge of this gig but I want to know what's going on with you and Maura?"_

_"Yeah... okay... um. She really had a very good idea earlier today. We should have checked it out after the second body was found but this case has been moving so fast, all we've been doing is catching up. Um... anyway, she wanted me to send a team to check out the lumberyards today and I shot her idea down." _

_Korsak shook his head disapprovingly. He could see where this was leading now but didn't want to interrupt Jane's explanation. Jesus... Jane was such a goner where Maura was concerned. He had been incredibly happy when they stopped their little "cat fight" or whatever the hell was going on between them. And, he was pretty sure they had finally just fucked each others brains out, but he could never say that to Jane. Still, he was fairly certain that Jane was going to mess it up again, if he didn't agree to help her out._

_"That seems like a reasonable request Jane we should be checking out the lumberyards."_

_"Christ Vince I know that. But Maura wanted it done like now... today... and I've already got everyone placed. I told her we would do it tomorrow if we didn't catch this asshole tonight. Then she started to cry. Jesus Vince you know how I deal with that."_

_"You mean you made her cry Jane... didn't you? You were mean to her again weren't you? You can't talk to Maura the way you talk to the guys Jane, she's very sensitive and doesn't understand that kind of rou.."_

_"I KNOW THAT, Chirst Vince... just shut up and let me finish."_

_She started her wild pacing again and shot him a look that meant 'I'll tear your balls off if you don't shut your face and let me finish'. _

_He decided to be smart and keep his balls._

_"Anyway... you know how Maura can't lie without passing out or hyperventilating right?"_

_He nodded._

_"Well, she can't lie verbally but somehow she manages to be deceitful by omitting information... and she isn't very good at it. When I told her we would check out the lumberyards tomorrow... um ... after I got her to stop crying...she agreed with me. Just like that - way too soon for typical Maura. And, then she mumbled something about going over the evidence again."_

_"But Vince, I know by the look on her face; as soon as we leave today, she will be out the door and on her way to the nearest lumberyard. She's gonna follow this lead on her own because I wouldn't cave in and give her what she wanted. I want you to follow her and make sure she doesn't get into any trouble."_

_"Why can't I just go tell her that I'm going to follow up...that you changed your mind?"_

_"I don't know that will be enough Vince. This case is very personal to her because of Phoebe and officer Silva. That bastard violated her home, threatened someone she loves and murdered someone who was protecting her. She needs to feel like she's doing something. I don't want her to think I'm sending you to babysit her or that I don't trust her... and she will Vince. You and I both know that Maura can be a little "off " socially, but she is a hundred times smarter than the two of us together. She'll know what I'm up to if I send you to her directly."_

_"Please Vince...I know this isn't what you want to be doing. You can say I'm calling in a personal favor because that's really what this is... I love her Vince. I just want to know that she is safe."_

_Her eyes welled up with tears at those last words and Korsak was never so happy for Jane. She had finally admitted her love for Maura and she was sharing this with him. He couldn't quite believe what she had just revealed but felt honored that she trusted him. Suddenly, his heart felt very light. That pain, that betrayal he was hanging on to, seemed to melt away with what Jane offered him. _

_He shrugged his shoulders, smoothed out the wrinkles on his suit coat and smiled at his friend._

_"I'm on it Jane. I'll make sure she doesn't get into any trouble. I promise."_

_"Thanks Vince." And then something unprecedented happened, she grabbed him by the shoulders and hugged him fiercely. "Thanks so much, I couldn't trust anyone else with this."_

And now, he had just watched Maura get taken by a monster. Holy Crap. What the fuck was he going to do? There wasn't any time to call everyone out here. That asshole might kill her the moment he gets inside his house.

Korsak started running.

**Maura and Harold**

After his rough treatment of her Harold seemed to gain some self control. He had shoved her onto the sofa of his living room and told her to "shut up". She knew her bicep would have a contusion in the shape of a hand print because he had squeezed it so tightly.

He was pacing back and forth in front of the coffee table and muttering to himself about his timeline. Maura simply watched and listened to him, hoping to glean some useful information from his strange discourse.

"Don't think I don't want to put a bullet through your head right now because I do. And believe me Dr. Isles I will. You are dead already consider that a fact. I don't want my home contaminated by your un-pure blood so I will have to wait. You have interfered with my timeline. I am very angry with you... and that wretched child. And that Detective. When I am finished tonight... make no mistake Dr. Isles, I will come back for you. I will find that girl...I will find your Detective...and I will bring you all home."

"Home?" Maura couldn't quite believe what she was hearing. He would bring them home?

"Home to God. Dr. Isles. I will bring you Home to God."

"Oh."

Maura was definitely afraid but she would not allow her fear to incapacitate her. He had just admitted that he would kill her. But not now. Not this instant because of his odd declaration about her un-pure blood. She would have some time and hopefully an opportunity to escape. He was very upset about this interruption of his timeline. She decided to be patient and calm. She did not want to antagonize him into changing his mind. Still, she wondered if would answer a question or two. Knowing she was taking a risk, but not being able to deny her innate curiosity, she took a deep breath before addressing the killer.

"Might I ask you a question... Harold?"

He stopped his pacing in mid-stride to look at her with apparent contempt. He was a very attractive man she had to concede. His body was fit and well formed, his hair was trimmed neatly and his face was well sculpted. He did not look like a killer. Except for his eyes. His eyes were hollow and empty of all emotion; like those of a doll. He seemed to be considering her request. Finally, he shrugged his shoulders as if to say; whatever.

"Alright Dr. Isles, what is your question?"

Maura smoothed the fabric of her skirt and sat up a bit straighter on the sofa. She did not want to cower before this man.

"Why did you take such care with their faces? When you beat them... none of them were marked upon the face. I would think that would be difficult to do...considering your choice of weapon and the force by which you struck them.

Harold smiled at her, he seemed pleased by her perception.

"Because they were beautiful Dr. Isles. God made them beautiful and I would not return them home by marring that beauty... and yes, it was difficult to avoid the face under the circumstances. I have been practicing with my weapon for many years. I know what I am doing Dr. Isles. "

"I see, ah... thank you Harold."

Maura was at a loss. This man was most likely insane but was highly functional on a cognitive level. She found it an interesting puzzle. And, Phoebe had been right about his fanaticism. This seemed to be some type of religious campaign... but, she wondered, if it was also very personal to Harold? He seemed to be using "God" as the justification but she suspected there was something deeper that drove his desire to murder these young men.

"Might I ask you one more question Harold?"

Maura was really pushing things but he appeared to have calmed down after his declaration of intentions. That seemed to have put order back in its place for him. Maura understood order. He needed to control his timeline and, somehow, after seizing her - some of that control had been returned to him.

"Alright Dr. Isles, one more question and then I must prepare to leave. I will have to confine you before I do that. What else would you like to know?"

"Why do you choose gay men?"

Harold smiled at Dr. Isles before responding. The smile was wholly frightening in its absolute certainty that what he had done was right and good. And he was very proud of his accomplishment.

"They are abominations Dr. Isles." And then he quoted those awful passages from Leviticus that every Homophobe uses as justification for bigotry and hatefulness.

"Lev 18:22-23 "You shall not lie with a male as one lies with a female; it is an abomination."

"Lev 20:13 "If there is a man who lies with a male as those who lie with a woman, both of them have committed a detestable act; they shall surely be put to death."

"Does that answer your question Dr. Isles?"

"I see." Maura tried to stifle a snort of derision that she couldn't really control.

Harold stared at her coldly, he was caressing the trigger of the pistol he was holding and Maura realized perhaps she should hold her tongue after all. She hoped he had the safety engaged because a gun could go off quite easily by mistake sometimes. He was not, however, currently pointing it in her direction.

"Do you find this amusing Dr. Isles? I would think you would be a little concerned that I have you under my power. A POWER given to me from God. I would think you would feel humbled somewhat by your circumstances."

He was seething Maura could tell, his face was flushed and he was working himself into a rage. She decided maybe she should back off. But then, that compulsive side of her personality could not seem to shut itself down. She found herself uttering words that were completely unwise under the current circumstances.

"I think your reasoning is far removed from reality and your current campaign is hardly original. People have been using Leviticus for centuries as a justification to kill. To murder. To Hate."

"And, if you truly believe the sentiments of the Bible scriptures and the words by which your God speaks; why don't you follow his commandments? One of them specifically states: " Thou shall not Kill." I should think The Ten Commandments outrank the obscurity of Leviticus don't you? God dictated them directly to Moses. Whereas, Leviticus was a dodgy interpretation of hearsay - hardly as reliable as Moses wouldn't you agree?"

Harold was turning purple but couldn't seem to find his voice. Maura droned on but picked up the pace of her delivery so she could complete her train of thought before he got himself together.

"In conclusion Harold; I think your premise is immature and inconsistent ... and as I said earlier...redundant. Not to mention that the Bible is considered to be mythology in many scientific circles and historical fiction in most."

Harold was sputtering and waving the pistol in an angry wild arc; attempting to stifle Maura's onslaught of opinions. All to no avail.

Whenever under high stress, or duress; Maura's impulse control was seriously compromised, which often resulted in a rambling discourse of scientific facts and personal observations based upon obscure research.

So she continued... on and on... like the unstoppable force.

"As a doctor and a scientist I find it probable that your behavior could be better explained by psychology. It is quite likely that you, Harold, are a latent homosexual who is consumed with self-hatred. You are unable to assimilate your physical desires into your intellectual belief system. Therefore; because of this internal conflict, you project your self-hatred outward - to the community of gay men that you could never be a part of. I find that very sad Harold."

"This is all conjecture of course, as I haven't had access to your files...but I am fairly certain...there must be files about you somewhere..."

Harold's face had gone from red, to purple and now it was pale white. Maura thought he was going to pass out. Some of her words seemed to have hit the mark. He staggered a bit, but then steadied himself and the color returned to a full blazing scarlet. He reached across the coffee table and grabbed Maura's arm in a vice like grip.

"Arggggh...you will shut up NOW."

He screamed at the top of his lungs before violently dragging her through the living room and into the kitchen. There was a pantry in a tiny corner at the back. The door was fitted with an old style lock and a dead bolt. He shoved her inside, slammed the door, turned the key and slid the bolt home. In an additional fit of rage, he proceeded to kick the door six or seven times before stomping away.

"Whew." Maura whispered to herself. "I'm still alive... for now."

**Korsak**

Vince hadn't call for back-up yet. This jerk had all the power and Vince was certain the fucker would not hesitate to kill Maura if he felt himself cornered. The time required to explain could mean the death of Maura. He would go in first and call for back-up if need be.

The tall Colonial home was guarded by a hedge of thick rich cedar; he squeezed into a narrow gap and slipped around the back. Ducking below the windows and creeping along, hugging his body close to the red brick structure; he faltered upon hearing the voices emanating from a widow near by. Taking a risk but wanting to be sure that Maura was still alive and unhurt he peeked inside the window.

The September day was unusually warm and the widow was pushed up allowing him a clear view through a well maintained screen. Maura was making some kind of a speech and he could tell it was one of her lectures by the tone she maintained. God he silently groaned to himself. Not now Maura. When he glanced inside he saw that she was seated on the sofa and the killer was standing near by waving a pistol wildly about. That was not good. He wondered if he could get a good shot through the window, but decided against that risk, as Maura would be in the line of fire as well.

He could hear some of what Maura was saying... oh my God... did she just tell the guy he was a 'latent homosexual' ? Vince was hoping she might try to reason with him, but he could tell by her acid tone and the content of her words that she was intentionally winding him up. Christ Maura! Fuck. He was starting to understand why Jane could get so frustrated with her at times.

_"Argggh...you will shut up NOW" _

Oh, oh. She really pissed him off.

Suddenly, the guy lurched forward seizing Maura by the forearm. Vince steadied his gun and unclasped the safety; preparing himself to shoot the maniac through the window. Fuck. Maura was still in his line of fire. Ducking quickly, as the asshole turned in his direction, he could hear their progression through the living room. It was accented by a trail of muffled squeaks from Maura and muttered, frustrating grunts by the serial killer. Damn! Taking another chance, he quickly peeked again and saw them disappear into a different room which led to the back of the house.

Moving cautiously around the back to the other side of the house he positioned himself below the kitchen window. There were filmy curtains fluttering from the gentle breeze and a bottle of yellow dish soap on the ledge of the pane. Damn, the slope of the ground here was too low for him to look inside.

The squeaking rasp of an unoiled hinge could be heard as a door was wrenched open. And then a SLAM. Snick. Click. Two locks. Thunk, clunk, clunk, thunk, clunk, thunk.

Ahhh... he's kicking the door. She _really_ pissed him off. Must be one of those old kitchen pantries, Vince mused. That's a good sign. He locked her in, which means he's not going to kill her just yet. Another stream of incoherent mutters was delivered before the nut case stomped out of the kitchen.

Vince would hold his position and listen. If that asshole returned to the kitchen he would break in through the back door. The risk of not being able to see inside would be too great for Maura's safety. All was quiet for several moments until he heard the slamming of a door near the front of the house. He scurried toward the front, raising his Smith and Wesson; hoping he could take this asshole by surprise. Goddamn Fuck! Vince swore out loud as he watched a Subaru pull out of the garage and tear down the street at frightening speed. The bastard's gone. Thank God for Maura. Still, he was hoping to catch that crazy son of a bitch.

Two minutes later, after breaking the window on the door to the rear and flipping the bolt; Vince sauntered into the kitchen and unlocked the pantry door.

Maura was standing in the back corner wearing a wary frightened expression. But she was not hysterical, which he somehow expected her to be. Aside from wariness and fright she also looked determined and Vince couldn't help but admire Maura's tenacity. She blinked her eyes, adjusting them to the sudden bright light before she realized who was standing in the entrance.

"Vince!"

Suddenly he was wearing Dr. Maura Isles like a stole. She was squeezing the life out of him and babbling like a mag pie. He didn't mind at all. Thank God was all he could think... and also... Jane is going to be _really_ pissed. But they could deal with that later.

**Angela and Phoebe**

"Okay honey we just gotta get some milk and then we'll be done for the day. I kin see you're about to wilt like a dandelion in the sun."

She reached over and cupped Phoebe's chin before stroking her cheek with a warm hand.

Phoebe leaned into the gesture like a puppy. She loved how warm Angela could be. Tough on the outside but gooey on the inside. Just like Jane. Phoebe startled herself with this thought. Angela really was very much like Jane. Before she could put any further thought into that idea she could hear Angela exclaiming in a strangled voice.

"Oh my God... I woulda never thought she'd come back home. What in hell is she doin' here?"

Angela had turned their grocery cart into the dairy isle but stopped it several feet away from the milk cooler. She was staring at a woman who was digging inside one of the frosty glass doors. The woman was tall and thin with very blonde hair. There was a toddler sitting in the front of her shopping cart. Phoebe thought she was very attractive, in a Barbie doll sort of way.

The woman glanced in their direction, as though aware of the scrutiny. Her eyes were very blue and they grew very wide when she settled them on Angela.

"Mrs. Rizzoli ?"

"Yeah... Hi Kelsie... I didn't know you were back in town."

And everything fell into place for Phoebe. Everything. Angela was Jane's mother.

They'd had an argument the night before.

_"Why can't I know your last name?" Phoebe demanded. Originally, she'd just been curious to know what Angela and Frank's surname was, but then Angela avoided the topic and tried to deflect the question._

_"What's your last name honey?"_

_She got that worried flutter in her heart, which made Phoebe realize this was part of the secret she was hiding._

_"I don't know what my last name is...but you know what your last name is so why can't you tell me? "_

_"I kin tell ya kid... I'm just not goin' to. A name for a name kid. That's my rules."_

_Phoebe had sulked but still could not get Angela to reveal their last name. Angela had waited around the front at noon so she could intercept the mailman - not wanting Phoebe to see the name on the envelopes._

Now it all made sense. Angela was right to hide this information from her. Phoebe would have fled for sure had she known that Angela was Jane's mother.

Sigh.

But that woman Angela was talking to. She was part of the puzzle too. Her heart was really bad. _Really bad_. She had a dark spot on her heart that was almost the same as Jane's. Almost exactly as Jane's had been. All tightly wound together. An ugly twisted knot. But hers was worse than Jane's had been..._way worse_.

Ahhh... Phoebe understood. The one that did the hurting got the bigger scar. It always worked that way. Every time that Phoebe had an opportunity to see the people together - the people who had hurt each other. The person who was meaner...was always the one with the ugliest heart. The bigger emotional scar.

She'd been standing very still, lost in thought, and hadn't noticed when Angela pushed the cart a little closer. She was talking to this Kelsie, but Phoebe could tell she didn't really like her much. Understandably so; Kelsie had hurt Jane bad. Phoebe knew and so did Angela.

Phoebe found herself wandering over to the tall, blonde, pretty woman. The woman with a toddler and an outfit like Barbie. The woman by the name of Kelsie. And, before she could really think about what she was doing she blurted...

..."If you want your heart to get better Kelsie... you should apologize to Jane. You'll feel a lot better after you do. Jane might not like it much but it's still a good idea to say you're sorry... you'll see."

**To Be Continued.**

**Merry Christmas All.**

_Thanks so much for the many reviews and the continued support for this story. I hope you stick around to see what happens._

_Oh... and I owe thanks to a reviewer. "SD" for the very end part with Kelsie. Thanks for the great idea. _


	15. Elephant

**I Can Feel Your Heart Beat.**

**Rizzoli & Isles**

**Pairing: Jane Rizzoli/Maura Isles**

**Author: myIllusion**

**Rating: R for later chapters**

_Disclaimer: I do not own the characters-no copyright infringement intended._

**Chapter XV "Elephant"**

**Phoebe, Angela and Kelsie**

_..."If you want your heart to get better Kelsie... you should apologize to Jane. You'll feel a lot better after you do. Jane might not like it much but it's still a good idea to say you're sorry... you'll see."_

The blonde woman, Kelsie, had a look of shock and fright upon her face. Her mouth was moving but words weren't coming out; her face was flushed with pink. She nervously shifted her glance between Angela and Phoebe while playing with her hair. She absently started to coo at the towheaded little girl, who was happily making a nest among the broccoli and lettuce in her shopping cart.

Phoebe couldn't believe it but Angela was just as stumped for words as Kelsie.

That happened sometimes when Phoebe said things that carried the magnitude and weight of an elephant. Especially when the elephant was the proverbial "pink" in color and no one wanted to notice him. Well, that pink elephant was standing in the milk isle between Kelsie and Angela Rizzoli. Phoebe was kind enough to point it out to them.

The two adults did what adults always do when a kid embarrasses them. They tried to pretend it didn't happen. Angela wasn't mad at what Phoebe said but she tried to act like it hadn't been said at all.

She snorted out loud and laughed real nervous like, before reaching out to pull Phoebe into a one armed hug. Once she had her under her grasp she met Kelsie's gaze with a rueful grin before declaring.

"Kelsie, I'd like you to meet Phoebe, she's a friend of the family and has picked up some of that Rizzoli bluntness."

Angela was being polite, but Phoebe could tell that she wasn't concerned about Kelsie's feelings. The most important thing to her was to protect Jane. And, Phoebe knew that Angela didn't believe it would be a good thing for Jane to see Kelsie. She was wrong. Phoebe knew it was always better to face the old hurts head on; that was the only way to really heal them.

Kelsie gaped at Phoebe, staring wide eyed - like there was horns growing out of her head or something. Phoebe stared her down in return. She wasn't going to let her off the hook so easily.

"I don't know anything about what happened with you and Jane. She doesn't talk much about her personal self but I know that you did something to hurt her. I can feel it in your heart and I felt it in Jane's. Your two hearts match in the way that they hurt. Or, they used to. But Jane has Maura now and hers is lots better. That old pain is mostly gone from her heart now... but I think it would be even better if you talked to her. Yours would get better too. I can tell you're really sad still."

Angela decided to butt in. She shot Phoebe a death glare. A look that was very reminiscent of one Jane might give, before focusing her attention back on Kelsie.

"Sorry Kelsie, Phoebe has an odd gift of sorts and can't help herself with what she says sometimes."

Kelsie's face was all splotchy and red; her crystal blue eyes were laden with tears and her voice was thick with emotion.

"No...ah.. Mrs. Rizzoli, it's alright... what Phoebe said is true. I don't know what Jane told you about what happened but I did...-"

"She didn't tell me nothin'. " Angela cut Kelsie off in mid sentence, her voice was like a hammer and she pounded her fist on the handle of the shopping cart; the whole thing rattled and shook with the force of Angela's anger.

" All I know is that Janie called me up to come and get her from that stupid field hockey camp. And she was a wreck. A real mess and damaged to the core. She never would tell me what went on, but I'm a mother and I figured out that it was cuz of you Kelsie. I wasn't even allowed to mention your name without her freakin' out... so, I took her to a shrink and eventually she got better."

"Janie is real happy now Kelsie. She's got a wonderful girlfriend, who's a doctor by the way, and she's a decorated Detective with the Boston Police Department. I don't know why you're back in town and I don't care. All I really know is that I don't want you messin' with Janie ever again. Stay away from my family Kelsie."

And with that said; Angela grabbed Phoebe by the arm, did an about face with their grocery cart, and exited the dairy isle without so much as a drop of milk.

Phoebe was being dragged away and not very happy about it. She glanced over her shoulder to get a final look at Kelsie, who's tears were pouring down her face in streams. She smiled weakly at the sad woman, hoping to reassure her in some small way. That Kelsie wasn't so bad. She made a bad mistake but she really wasn't a bad person. And, even though Angela didn't know it yet, she needed to get out of their way. Jane and Kelsie needed to meet again so they could heal their wounded past.

She blew a puff of air at her bangs, exhaled a dramatic sigh and turned her full attention back on Angela.

"You know what Angela? I guess I know your secret don't I?"

"I guess you do kid... are ya gonna give me a hard time now? Or, are we gonna stay friends?"

Phoebe could feel the fear and anger pouring out of Angela's heart, she could feel the worry and dread from a painful, hurtful past; it was charging head first into a frightful concern for the future. She could feel the ache of a mother who only wanted to keep her child from being hurt. Words weren't needed, for now, Phoebe decided. She and Angela could argue later about what just happened.

With that final thought Phoebe wrapped her arm around Angela's shoulder, she gave it a squeeze and she flashed that lopsided grin. She took hold of the shopping cart with her free hand before she replied.

"I really want us to stay friends... I'll drive the cart though."

**Korsak, Frost, Maura.**

"Everything is good to go Vince, we better get out of here before the neighborhood SK shows up."

Frost was all in black tonight. Korsak snorted derisively under his breath. The kid looked like he was trying to be some kind of "Shaft" in that outfit. Black turtleneck and slacks, black leather jacket, and heeled boots; the only thing missing were the shades. Too cool for school. I bet he has the shades in his pocket and decided he'd be pushing it to have them perched on his head, or actually wear them. He ain't no Samuel L. Jackson that's for sure.

"Vince?"

"Yeah okay... ah, good job Barry. What's a SK?"

"That would be Serial Killer... duh." Frost rolled his eyes at Korsak before drifting out of the kitchen.

Vince followed him out of the room and couldn't help but get a last word in.

"Hey...you watch your smart ass attitude kid. Are all the cameras well hidden and do they all work?"

"Yeah... for the amount of time I had to set this up you should be kneeling at my feet instead of riding my ass."

Vince shrugged his shoulders at the punk. The house was dark except for their small flash lights. Time to go and hope the bastard comes back home. Unless Jane manages to catch him on the prowl.

"Lets get back to the van Barry... he'll come home if Jane doesn't catch him. No way he'd leave Maura in that pantry all night... he'll come back to deal with her and get a big surprise when he opens that pantry door."

They managed to replace the window in the back that Vince had shattered when he broke into the house. They rigged the bottom floor with several cameras and microphones all in the span of two hours. The house was surrounded by SWAT.

Vince had called Jane earlier to set this show up and fill her in on what went down with Maura. It wasn't a very pleasant conversation.

"_She WHAT?, You're WHERE?, WHAT THE FUCK?, Vince?" _

_Jane was screaming through the phone at Vince who had just explained the circumstances by which he found Maura. He wanted to know how Jane wanted to deal with this new development in the case._

_Meaning, they had a lock on Harold's house. Harold didn't know about Maura's rescue and would be returning to "kill" her at some point later this evening. Vince thought they could set a trap for him, if Jane's crew didn't have any luck in tracking him down at the clubs and gyms._

_"Jane, you need to calm down and think this through. You can yell at me and Maura later but right now we need to set this up. Do you want me to call in a forensic team and seal off this bastards house or do you want to set a trap?"_

_"The asshole didn't see me, he doesn't know I found Maura. Maura said he didn't even ask her how she found him. She thinks he's some kind of mental case. You know a schizophrenic or something and he isn't really thinking too clearly. We'll catch him Jane, it's just a matter of how you want to go about it."_

_"Yeah...ah... okay Vince. I'm going to talk to Cavanaugh and he'll send you some guys. Clean up any trace in the house so he won't notice you've been inside and get Maura the hell out of there."_

_"We'll place two guys inside the house. One inside the pantry and one hidden wherever you think best... you're the one who knows the layout. The rest of the team will surround the place. I want to catch him intending to follow through on his threat to Maura. That means we want to catch him going back to that pantry and unlocking the door. If you can get all that on tape somehow that would be great."_

_Korsak was rolling his eyes and smiling at Maura at the same time. Her hazel eyes were huge as saucers while she tried to follow the conversation. She was wringing her hands together in her lap and Vince could tell she wanted to grab the phone and talk to Jane herself. He didn't think that was a good idea right now and didn't intend on letting that happen. Not when Jane was in a temper. He cared about Maura and Jane too much to let Jane spoil things with her foul mouth right now._

_"Jane, we don't know how much time we'll have. Maura thinks he was headed out to find his next victim so I don't think he'll be back for awhile but we can't be sure. You gotta make this happen fast. Why don't you send me Frost to handle the tech stuff. I'm sure he can rig up some kinda camera in the kitchen to get this guy on tape. He kidnapped Maura off the street so we don't have to worry about a warrant. I witnessed the kidnapping so we have due cause to set this up."_

_"Okay Vince... I'll send Frost over to ya, but lay off the guy - the last thing I need is a pissing contest in the middle of this fucking mess. I want to catch this nut job before he gets back to his house Vince. I don't want another victim tonight. Lets hope we won't need this extra trap... in the mean time you sit tight until Cavanaugh sends the SWAT team."_

_"And Vince, ah... thanks for taking care of Maura. I knew I could count on you. I don't want her involved any more Vince. Can you send her home... or, no, don't send her home that won't be safe right now. Um... can you send her to my parents house?"_

_"I'll try Jane, but we have to leave her car at the playground. Asshole Harold knows she parked it there. We can get a squad car to give her a lift if she agrees to go."_

_When he said that last part he was staring Maura down. She went from wringing her hands to balling them up into fists. Her head was shaking a vigorous no. Christ these women were stubborn and difficult._

Sigh.

They had a van parked around the corner for their stakeout. Barry's gear to monitor the cameras was set up inside. Maura was waiting for them when they returned. She was sitting on a bench seat with her legs crossed, casually sipping a cup of coffee and looking pleased with herself. You would never know she had been in the clutches of an insanely dangerous man only hours before.

"Everything go as planned gentlemen?" Her question was polite and she tilted her head sideways to smile at them. The grin was full of self satisfaction and her big hazel eyes were gleaming with anticipation.

Why did it seem as though she was in charge of everything? She was in big trouble. Didn't she know that?

Korsak sighed, but nodded a yes to her question. Barry, the wonder boy, launched into his geek speak, regaling Maura with the tedious details of his nerdy gadgets and magical wizardry.

Christ! Jane was going to owe him big time.

**Harold**

"I'll make that bitch pay." Harold was muttering to himself and sweating profusely.

"What did you say?"

Harold hadn't realized he had spoken out loud. He turned to look at Andrew who was sitting in the passenger seat of his Subaru. They had gone to a play this evening and Harold was going to take him home for a nightcap. He would allow Andrew to pleasure him before he took him on romantic drive. And then, Andrew would have one last look at the evening sky before Harold brought him home to God.

But that bitch was in his pantry. He forgot about that part. He would have to leave Andrew in the living room, go into the kitchen and warn the bitch to keep her mouth shut. Why was everything so screwed up? His thoughts weren't right anymore. His brain was on overdrive and he couldn't seem to regain the order he so desperately needed to function. It couldn't be his meds could it? No. The meds were evil. They made him flat and dull, and he could never talk to God when he was taking his meds.

Harold laughed out loud and smiled at Andrew reassuringly.

"Sorry Andrew, I was having a little fantasy about this woman I work with. She's a real pain and I was just blowing off steam. I'm too much of a coward to confront her directly so I just mutter to myself about what I would like to say to her." He chuckled as though he had told a funny joke.

Andrew smiled at Harold but felt something kind of strange flutter and flip inside his stomach. Something about Harold made him very nervous. The guy was really "hot" for an older guy. He was really built and had a nice package if that bulge in his pants wasn't stuffed with socks. But, still, something about him seemed really twisted and Andrew found himself having second thoughts about wanting to go home with Harold. Maybe he should just tell him to take him home instead, or better yet, let him out of the car. Andrew wouldn't mind a walk. He could wave a cab down afterwards.

"Hey um... Harold, you know what?.. I think I'd like to call it a night. I'm kind of tired. We can have that drink another time. Why don't you just let me out right here... I'd um... like to go for a little walk.

Harold thought his head was going to explode. Not now. This never happened. They always went along with him. They always did what he told them to do. He wrestled with varying ideas, he struggled with rage...all of these conflicting thoughts were multiplying inside his head, bombarding him with confusion and pain.

A part of him wanted to smash Andrew in the face for speaking. His head was pounding and Andrew's voice sounded whiney and loud. He smothered the need to lash out. He wiped his brow with the sleeve of his dress shirt. He'd taken his coat off because he was sweating so bad. Smile Harold. Make yourself smile. Don't scare the boy - you need to finish this tonight. One more trophy and you will have the whole set.

Harold smiled.

"Oh... really Andrew? My house is right up here. We're almost there, why not come in and lighten the load before you call it a night. I make a hell of a Martini."

Andrew sighed. I guess a drink wouldn't be so bad, but that was all. No way he was going to have sex with this guy. He's just too weird.

"Alright Harold... one Martini and then I have to go."

**To Be Continued.**

_I know some of you have been waiting to watch (read) the fireworks between Jane and Maura but you'll have to wait until the next chapter. I promise it will be worth the wait._**  
**

_Thank you so much for all the great reviews and sticking with the story for as long as you all have. I'll be wrapping it up in the next couple chapters, which will be a bit longer. Your feedback has been fantastic. _

_Happy New Year Everyone. _


	16. No Redemption

**I Can Feel Your Heart Beat.**

**Rizzoli & Isles**

**Pairing: Jane Rizzoli/Maura Isles**

**Author: myIllusion**

**Rating: M for later chapters**

_Disclaimer: I do not own the characters-no copyright infringement intended._

**Chapter XVI " No Redemption "**

**Harold and Andrew**

"Make yourself comfortable Andrew, I'll go get started on the Martinis."

Harold nodded at the young man, waiting for him to take a seat on the sofa. When it looked as though he was staying put Harold made his way back to the kitchen. He stopped at the little writing desk and pulled his pistol out of the drawer, shoving it into the front waistband of his trousers.

He wasn't going to take the risk of something going wrong. That bitch might leap out at him when he opened the pantry door. He also didn't want Andrew to change his mind. The idea of using the pistol to coerce him was unappealing - he didn't want his ritual to be spoiled by having to force the boy. But, under the circumstances, he wasn't going to take any chances.

Andrew watched Harold wander towards the back of the house before his picked the purse up off the floor. Why would Harold have a woman's purse in his home and what was it doing on the floor between his sofa and the coffee table? Andrew was a smart young man. He was having some very big doubts about his current situation.

Harold was definitely "off." Andrew had heard the rumors of course, about a serial killer. The cops were trying to keep it under wraps but the gay community was not about to remain quiet when they were being hunted. The nickname for the killer was "The Gay Basher," because that's exactly what the guy did. He bashed in the heads of gay men.

Andrew shuddered with the thought as his curiosity won out and he fumbled with the clasp on the handbag. A very stylish bag indeed, he mused. Furla, from their fall collection; made with Italian leather. He couldn't help but peek inside. The item on top was very intimidating. A sleek but hefty handgun to go with the stylish bag.

He suddenly felt as though he was in some other dimension of reality. Like he was part of a play. A mystery or a whodunnit? His was the character who was about to stumble into something really scary, or shockingly surprising. All the other characters knew what was afoot, but there was always that one poor fool who was completely left in the dark.

Andrew pulled the weapon out of the bag. He had never handled a gun before. He didn't like the thought of hurting anything with the type of violence that such weapons unleashed.

His father used to practice in their back yard. He painted a garish target on the trunk of a maple tree and forced Andrew to watch him shoot. That poor tree was riddled with hundreds of bullets and holes. Andrew cringed every time the rifle was fired. He could almost hear the tree shrieking every time a bullet pierced its trunk.

Later, after his father settled in front of the television with bottles of beer - Andrew would go back outside and pry out the slugs. Using his little swiss army knife he spent hours performing surgery on that innocent, injured maple tree. He kept the spent slugs in a jar under his bed. After he moved away from home he had them melted down and cast into a giant maple leaf. It hung upon his wall in his living room.

Andrew noticed a little logo etched into the handle of the gun; a circle with and S and W intertwined within the center. Smith and Wesson he surmised. He hefted the weapon in his right hand to get a sense for the actual weight. There was a little tiny button to the left of the trigger. Andrew supposed that was the safety switch. He wondered if it was on or off and decided to push the little button forward. That seemed like it should engage the safety.

Whoever had the gun in this purse wasn't being very careful. But, as an afterthought, maybe they were being prepared - considering where the purse had ended up. With that unsettling thought he flipped the button back into its original position.

And suddenly, as though an insulated space; a bubble without sound or sensations had popped from within, and Andrew was assaulted with noise and color. Screaming and slamming doors and shattered glass. Strangers in black clothes were tromping about and a woman entered the room through the front door. Andrew wondered if she was the woman who owned this handbag; it would go very well with that gucci dress and black boots she was wearing.

He looked to the back of the room to see Harold waving a pistol and shouting gibberish at someone beyond his sight. All at once, Harold was charging toward him with that pistol pointed directly at his head. Harold hadn't noticed that Andrew held a weapon too.

Andrew pulled the trigger.

A huge, loud eruption exploded, high above the sounds of the lesser chaos that ensued. Harold stumbled backwards, flailing his arms with a look of utter disbelief upon his face. A bright vermilion stain blossomed on the center of his chest, it spread like a ripple in a pond growing is size as Harold fell.

Slowly, ever so slowly, like time was inching its way through a thick miasma; Harold's legs collapsed beneath him, his elbows hit first, and then he landed flat on his back with his head bouncing up and down upon the floor. One final word escaped his lips while he was falling; it reverberated throughout the room like a haunted echo.

"NoOOOO...ooooOOOooo...oooooo."

Everything was quiet again.

**Korsak, Frost, Maura and SWAT**

Two SWAT officers were stationed within the house. One was placed inside the pantry while the other was hiding in the laundry room near the kitchen. They intended to have Harold trapped between them.

When Harold opened the pantry door he would be faced with an experienced professional instead of a frightened Dr. Maura Isles. The other SWAT team officer would slip out of the laundry room and trap him from behind.

Harold unexpectedly arrived with a guest, however; which changed their priorities. Korsak did not want Harold to have another hostage to use as leverage. He gave the order for SWAT to mobilize immediately.

"Take him now, before he gets an opportunity to hurt that guy or use him for a hostage."

They were watching the scene unfold within the van. Barry's cameras were working very well as were all the microphones. They watched as Harold headed toward the kitchen and his guest was seated on the sofa.

Everything happened at once.

Harold pulled a pistol out of the desk on his way to the kitchen while his guest was digging inside Maura's purse.

Maura gasped out loud before explaining.

"My Smith and Wesson is in that purse."

All three of them leaped out of the van and headed for the house. Korsak shouted at Maura to stay behind but she paid him no mind. He and Barry had their weapons raised as they opened the front door - Maura was just a step behind them.

Korsak's order for immediate mobilization cancelled out the original plan causing confusion along the channels of communication. The SWAT guy in the laundry room emerged too soon and Harold saw him.

He shrieked in anger before retreating back into the living room. No one could know what Harold truly intended as he advanced upon Andrew with that pistol. He was screaming about a trophy and babbling about Home when the young man shot him with Maura's Smith and Wesson.

Harold was dead before he hit the floor. Gun shot through the heart. The unanticipated moment was universally shocking; leaving the witnesses stunned and immobile.

Maura was the first to recover her wits. She glided over to the sofa where the young man was sitting like a frozen statue. He was still holding the Smith and Wesson in an upright position but his hand had started to tremble.

Korsak hissed. Maura had moved too quickly for him to stop her. Jesus that woman was incorrigible.

Reaching over slowly, Maura covered his hand with her own and gently pushed it down. As he lowered the weapon she sat down next to him and unclasped his fingers from the handle. She slipped the gun behind her on the sofa and held the young mans hand, gently stroking the back of his knuckles with her thumb to sooth him before she spoke in low soft tones.

"My name is Maura... and, I ... um... work with the Police Department."

He was rocking back and forth and staring at his hands, which Maura now clasped in both of hers. She could tell he was trying to gather his thoughts so she waited quietly beside him. Barry slipped up behind her and removed the Smith and Wesson from harms way.

"Could you tell me your name?"

"Andrew... my name is Andrew." The young man whispered softly, as though he was in some kind of trance.

After a minute or so he raised his tear filled gaze to look at her.

"I like your ddr..dress Maura. Ddd..ddid you buy the ba..bbag to go with it?"

His voice was quivering and he stuttered as he asked that seemingly inane question but Maura understood his need; a need to establish something concrete. Something normal in the midst of the recent insanity. She smiled warmly at him before nodding a yes to his question.

And then he started to cry. He crumbled into a ball and tumbled into Maura's lap; his shoulders were shaking and he was on the verge of hyperventilating. He was muttering the whole time.

"I've never fired a gun before... I never would, even when my dad tried to make me. I don't like guns..."

One of her hands was stroking his hair and the other was rubbing his back.

"It's okay Andrew,... it's okay now... Breathe Andrew...inhale, exhale... slow... that's it, just Breathe."

Maura stroked his back with a pattern of soft slow circles. She held him in her lap like she would a small child, all the while calming and soothing him with her voice.

Barry was gathering his gear, SWAT was taping off the scene, and Korsak was making the necessary phone calls. He would call the EMT's, the Coroners office, which she thought ironic; and then he would call Jane.

**Jane and Maura**

The hour was late, or rather very early. 2:00 a.m. Korsak had sent her home. He claimed they would take her statement tomorrow. She knew Vince didn't want her on site when Jane arrived at the scene. She had been too tired to argue with him. And, truthfully, she didn't want to argue with Jane in public; in front of their colleagues and peers.

Maura was sitting in her living room with a book on her lap but not really reading. She had showered and donned her pajamas with every intention of going to bed. She would face Jane in the morning. But sleep eluded her so she got up, descended the stairs and poured herself a glass of wine.

She must have drifted off without realizing because Jane was smiling into her eyes and stroking her hair to gently wake her up. Jane was smiling? Soft lips met her brow, then her cheek and then her mouth.

"Hi." Jane whispered onto her lips.

"Hi." Maura returned the greeting with wonder. Jane's mercurial eyes looked tired but held none of the anger that Maura had anticipated. She was unable to think of what to say.

They held each others gaze for what seemed like an eternity before Jane reached out to clasp her hand. She intertwined their fingers and pulled Maura off the sofa, quietly leading her upstairs. When they entered the bedroom she let go of Maura's hand and headed for the bathroom without a word.

Maura climbed into bed, turned off the lamp and waited for Jane to finish her shower. Jane didn't seem angry but she was oddly quiet, which left her feeling decidedly nervous.

Jane was naked when she returned from the bathroom. The only light in the bedroom emanated from the soft yellow night light in the upstairs hallway. Jane's naked form was cast in shadows but the sharp angles of her narrow body looked sculpted and chiseled in the gentle yellow highlights.

She slipped under the covers without the usual boxer shorts and tee shirt, which made Maura feel overdressed in her silk pajamas. Overdressed indeed. She mentally snorted at the inappropriate thought. Making love would not be on Jane's agenda tonight. They both needed a good nights sleep before they tackled tomorrows inevitable flurry of wrapping up this case and having a "talk"; which Maura was certain would entail a lot of yelling and crying.

Jane was suddenly there - looming above her in the dark. A goddess of the night filled to the brim with passion and power. Maura could feel the palpable tension. Her lips were warm and soft and tender, trailing kisses up her neck and across her face. A sly hand was unbuttoning her pajama top while the other was stroking her hair. Jane's lips were gently exploring the planes of her face, teasing; taking a path that avoided her lips.

A fever started to burn and Maura succumbed to the heat; she sought Jane's mouth and sparked a fire. Suddenly, Jane was no longer gentle and sweet. Her long and slender body had Maura pinned to the bed with all its force. She grabbed Maura's wrists and trapped them above her head, clamping them together with one hand while her other hand finished with the buttons on her top. She claimed Maura's mouth, thrusting her tongue inside demanding submission. Her hand was slipping inside the waist of Maura's pajama bottoms.

Maura pulled her mouth away, startled by Jane's aggressive dominance. A part of her was excited and turned on; she could feel how wet and ready she was. But Jane was not engaged with her emotionally. She tried to pull away but Jane was unaware of Maura's struggle. Her fingers were sliding through Maura's silky wetness and heading toward their goal when Maura wrenched her hips away before exclaiming.

"Jane... JANE STOP. I'm not going to have angry sex with you."

Jane was panting heavily; her eyes were unfocused and cloudy with pain and confusion.

"Oh God...I'm sorry Maura," she whispered, "That wasn't angry that was terrified."

Her voice cracked on the last word. She released Maura's wrists and buried her face in the golden hair at the curve of Maura's neck. Her body lost its tension as she collapsed on top of Maura - heaving with pent up emotion. Finally, she spilled the tears of fright and worry she'd been clinging to all day long.

She pressed Jane tightly to her body, wrapping her up in arms and legs and whispered gentle words.

"I'm right here... I love you Jane...I'm still here...

...I'm sorry... I'm sorry I frightened you."

**To Be Continued**

_Okay... so I promised fireworks for this chapter... as it turns out I lied. Not on purpose. I felt a need to take a different path with Jane and Maura in terms of Jane's "anger" over Maura's actions in relation to this case. That issue is far from being resolved yet, but I felt this was a good place to end for this chapter._

**Thanks again to those of you who have left me a note of encouragement.**

_Again...Happy New Year Everyone. _


	17. Anger Management

**I Can Feel Your Heart Beat.**

**Rizzoli & Isles**

**Pairing: Jane Rizzoli/Maura Isles**

**Author: myIllusion**

**Rating: M for later chapters**

_Disclaimer: I do not own the characters-no copyright infringement intended._

_Okay... caution... Major M factor in this chapter... fair warning for those of you who prefer to skip the sex scenes. This is a short chapter. The next installment will include Phoebe, Angela, the wrap-up of the case and possibly Kelsie... if I get that far. _

**Chapter XVII " Anger Management "**

**Jane and Maura**

She didn't know how she felt. Or, how she should feel. A pattern of behavior had been established years before and in many ways she had come to rely upon that pattern. Stomping into a room, wearing a practiced sneer, while boring holes into foreheads with a killer glare; got her the space and respect that she needed to survive in her position. Raising her voice and pacing about, flailing her arms wildly; were very overt and intentional signals that she was about to blow a nut.

People stayed away. They cowered when she erupted and she could control them with her anger. She could manipulate a situation by the fear she instilled in others - until she got what she wanted. Underneath that hard exterior was something very different, however; something she never imagined could emerge again. Hope. Trust. Happiness. Love.

When you have these things. These warm feelings of love, of compassion, of hope for a better future. When you want to trust, when you ache for that desire to let someone in. Allow them to see you, the real you... not the mask you wear during the day but what your soul is made of. When all of these positive, gentle, enormously tender and profoundly caring feelings are claiming the surface of the pool; when they bubble up from the depths to surround your hard exterior and weaken it with a passion to be good. To be better.

Anger becomes superfluous. The hard edges are crude and sharp and offensive to the evolution of love. You can not anger someone into loving you. They may fear you and pretend to love you because they fear you. But, that is not love.

She loved Maura with all her heart. Every little chamber was filled up with a desire to make Maura smile, make her laugh and more than anything; make her happy. She did not want to be angry with Maura.

Her old pattern was saying something different. You need to step on her hard so she doesn't ever do this again. You need to make her understand that you are in charge. If she won't follow your lead then she can't follow you at all. You need to shake her up. You need to scare her into being sensible. Lets face it Jane, that stunt she pulled was not sensible and if you hadn't sent Korsak out to spy on her she would be dead. You would have lost her. That's why you need to be mad. That's why you need to yell and scream and make her cry. When she cry's she is vulnerable and then you can control her. You can tell her that you will forgive but she must follow your lead Jane.

That's the way it works Jane. You scare them into submission so you can control them. Then you won't get hurt. That's how it always works Jane... Jane... Jane... are you listening to me Jane?

NO.

That isn't how it works. Not any more. I won't do that any more. I won't hurt her because I am afraid to lose her. That isn't fair. I am upset though. I'm upset that she was careless with herself and it did scare me. It terrified me because the thought of her being hurt would make me insane. But I'm not mad. I'm not angry. I'm... I'm... I'm...

In love. Truly in love.

I'll tell her I'm upset and I'll tell her why, but I will not yell and scream.

Hell, I can yell and scream at Barry and Vince. That will fill the need to throw a tantrum. Old patterns are hard to break but I won't use this old pattern on Maura.

Never again.

She was lying in bed watching Maura sleep and having this crazy internal dialogue with herself. Jane knew that Maura would wake soon and she didn't want their day to start with harsh words or hurt feelings. Jane was the one who made those things happen. Maura could be insufferably smug at times. She could be irritating as hell with her infuriating logic. She could be stubborn as a bull and yet endearingly sweet and naive.

But, Maura was never mean. She was never harsh and she would never, ever, do a thing to hurt someone intentionally. She had not intended to hurt Jane. So they would talk and be upset. But they would not argue and fight.

Maura's eyes fluttered open; long golden lashes revealed the color of amber with specks of deep viridian swirling within. Her gaze carried the sleepy wonder of innocence and curiosity of what the day might bring. A happy gleam and sparkle shone within those depths as she met Jane's gaze with full awareness. And then a shadow, a glimpse of worry for the upset that may come. A snippet of fear that the storm was still brewing and she would need to be prepared.

Jane slowly shook her head. Back and forth it went while she smiled down on Maura's face with love and understanding.

"I love you... I'm not mad at you... I don't want us to argue..."

She bent over and placed the lightest of kisses on those full and sensual lips. Lingering on the surface of that softness; sending all the tenderness and love within hear heart along a channelled path. From the deepest reservoir within her being, she mined the biggest jewels her heart possessed and passed them onto Maura through this kiss.

She pulled back from the heavenly sweetness of Maura's mouth before she got swept under.

" I was upset with what happened; what almost happened... but I'm not angry. "

Maura was running her fingers over her lips that were still tingling from the sensation, the overwhelming connection she had felt from Jane's ephemeral kiss. It was only a moment in time but seemed to forge an eternal imprint.

Would her lips continue to vibrate and tingle forevermore?

"You're not?" She managed to gurgle a response.

"No... but next time you decide to stalk a serial killer I hope you will trust me enough to invite me to come with you."

"Okay...I...ah... Jane, I'm sorry. I am so sorry. I thought you didn't take me seriously and I was just so frustrated with everything. I was so upset that Phoebe had run off... and Officer Silva was so dedicated and kind and I thought it was all my fault. I thought if I could locate him... Harold. I thought if I could just find him... then you could catch him. He... uh... he caught me on the street Jane... before I could even approach his hou-"

"Shhssh Maura I know." Jane silenced her with another lingering kiss.

A moment later, forcing herself to allow their conversation to continue she berated herself for interrupting Maura's thought process. But she couldn't resist - Maura was so sweet and kissable just then. Mentally giving herself a shake and a shove; she wanted to move this forward so she could completely immerse herself in Maura's being. She reached out and tenderly smoothed a lock of hair that had fallen over Maura's brow.

"I understand your need to follow that lead Sweetie. I'm impressed that you were so adept and thorough that you succeeded in finding his address. But Maur... why didn't you call me? Why did you feel the need to go to his house alone? Without any backup? That was just foolish. Of everything that happened yesterday - that's the one thing that really upset me... because you weren't thinking about your own safety. Do you have any idea how devastated I would have been had anything happened to you? And Phoebe... what about Phoebe Maura?"

Jane had pulled away a bit so she could gauge Maura's reaction. She had covered her face with both of her hands. Out of embarrassment or shame or just the need to hide; Jane didn't know, but she suspected that Maura was also crying.

Of course she was crying. This time Jane didn't feel bad about Maura's tears. She hadn't shouted at her, she hadn't berated or accused, she had only asked a question. A very reasonable question. And, Jane knew, that these were tears that Maura needed to shed.

Maura's whole demeanor throughout yesterdays events was in drastic contradiction to her usual methodical practicality. Korsak said she had antagonized Harold to the point he thought she would be shot. Later, after Korsak rescued her from the pantry she refused to stay in the van under his direct orders. And then, to top it off; she took it upon herself to disarm the very unstable young man who had shot and killed their suspect.

All of that had taken its toll upon her sensitive girlfriend; who was just now, finally, feeling the reality of what she had been through. Jane reached under that slender frame and pulled her into her arms; she whispered words of comfort and love while Maura wept.

Some little time later; Maura was draped across the length of Jane's long body, she lifted her head to gaze at Jane before she spoke in a shaky quivering voice.

"I won't do that again. I was wrong Jane and I'm sorry that I made you worry. I'm sorry if I hurt you by not trusting you. I don't have an excuse ... except that I was afraid. I was so tired of being afraid that all I could think about was finding him. So it could be over and we could move on with our lives. I wanted Phoebe to come home and was terrified she would run off again if we couldn't catch him. I...I...I love you Jane. Please forgive me..."

Her hair was tousled, the green of her eyes had swamped the usually dominant amber; revealing a rawness and passion that Jane had come to recognize when Maura was deeply emotional. The remnants of streaming tears left translucent trails upon her cheeks. Heavy droplets still welled within that open heartfelt gaze.

" ...I'm so sorry...I love you... "

Jane's soft lips pressed against her forehead, she kissed her glistening eyelids shut and washed away the salty tear stained trails with her tongue. Her mouth was tender and sweet, healing and soothing with gentle impressions; all the while murmuring soft words.

"Shsshh, everything is okay now... I love you too... shsshh Maur... I love you Maura..."

Maura was still wearing her pajamas. The top was opened in front from the previous evening. Her chest was pressed to Jane's chest; sternum to sternum - breast to breast - heart to heart. She could feel their hearts beating against one another creating a singular rhythm. The intimacy of the moment almost undid her. A wave of love and passion swept throughout her body like a wild unpredictable wind shattering all barriers between them.

She captured Jane's lips and together they moaned into the uprising of emotions that consumed them. Suddenly, her top was gone and Maura couldn't tell which of them had pulled it off. Jane's hands were tugging at the waist of her pajama bottoms - Maura raised her hips to help her slide them off. The intimacy of their kiss deepened; tongues exploring, caressing, desperately seeking to fuse themselves into a single being.

Jane sat up pulling Maura into a straddling position on her lap. Their mouths continued searching, never breaking contact as Maura's hands tangled in Jane's hair; dragging her closer, deeper into the well of raw emotion. Jane's arm circled Maura's waist, while her free hand crept between them seeking Maura's core. She stroked the silky, wet, warmth at Maura's center slowly, but Maura snagged her hand and guided it to where she wanted.

"I need you inside me." She panted into Jane's ear and nipped at her lobe.

She plunged inside, locking her gaze with Maura's; wanting to maintain the depth of their connection. Dark brown became a near obsidian and hazel turned to deepened feral green. They created a rocking rhythm that quickly escalated into a wild frenetic frenzy. Maura moaned and plead, riding Jane's hand with abandon. Frantic with need she begged and urged Jane on.

"Oh God Jane... please..."

"Yess ... harder... yess.. hurrry ... Jane.."

Her body was a vessel of boiling, liquid passion; wanting to explode, needing to self-combust. Every sensitive nerve was on the edge of flaming ecstasy.

Jane's mouth devoured her breasts; licking and sucking, teasing and biting, heightening the sensations - urging her to an almost unbearable summit.

Panting and screaming, Maura bit into Jane's shoulder with the final thrusts of Jane's fingers, which sent her toppling her over the edge into a sea of orgasmic nirvana.

**To Be Continued**

_Thanks again to those of you who have left me a note of encouragement._


	18. Sunday Dinner

**I Can Feel Your Heart Beat.**

**Rizzoli & Isles**

**Pairing: Jane Rizzoli/Maura Isles**

**Author: myIllusion**

**Rating: M for later chapters**

_Disclaimer: I do not own the characters-no copyright infringement intended._

_Sorry for the long delay. This chapter is more cerebral. A lot of processing happens with the characters and it sets up the end of the story._

**Chapter XVIII " Sunday Dinner "**

**Phoebe, Angela, Frank, Jane, Maura, Frankie, Jo Friday and Bass**

"Higher... higher Frankie... highhherrrr..."

Phoebe was screaming at the top of her lungs. They were in the Rizzoli family back yard and Frankie was pushing her on the swing. An old tire dangling on a fat rope. The rope was looped around the thick lower branch of a giant elm tree. A tree that had lived in the Rizzoli yard long before it was the Rizzoli yard.

She was standing up with her feet planted on the inside rim of the tire; her hands clinging tightly to the rope and begging Frankie to put some muscle into the task.

Frankie was looking at Elmer's arm. He and Jane had named the old tree Elmer when they were kids. Ma had told them it was an Elm tree and that was all they needed for inspiration.

The swing hadn't been used that often in recent years so he was a little concerned about the condition of the rope and the branch it was tied to. Phoebe was so tiny that Elmer's arm was barely registering a sway; the rope was faded and frayed a bit, but it was hefty and made to last. He decided to grant Phoebe her wish.

"Hang on kid you're going for a ride."

He grabbed both sides of the tire upon Phoebe's return swing, backed up as far as the rope would allow and charged full force as fast as he could - propelling Phoebe along the way. He let go only when he reached the point at which he could duck under the tire; allowing Phoebe to soar at heights no other had accomplished on that swing.

The shriek of excitement and subsequent laughter the girl emitted was totally worth the effort put forth. He smiled and waved at the teenager while she whooped and hollered. Jo Friday was running in circles, jumping and barking as Phoebe swung back and forth in an unfettered effort to reach the sky.

The autumn day was cool and crisp but the sun was shining brightly; it warmed his face and arms before the chill of the air could scare him inside. He was wearing a raggedy old red sox tee shirt with jeans and hadn't thought to grab his sweatshirt before Phoebe dragged him into the yard to be her human rocket thruster.

"If she falls... I'll snap your neck in two loser."

Frankie turned around to see Jane and Maura standing on the back porch wearing matching grins. Well, Jane had her usual smart ass smirk while Maura wore an amused smile that looked kind of wispy and thoughtful.

"Janie, Maura." Frankie shouted and ran over to give them each a heartfelt hug.

"Thanks for watching Jo and Bass Frankie."

Jane squeezed her brother extra hard before slapping the back of his head affectionately.

"Oww... Janie, that ain't a way to thank a guy." He smiled all the same while rubbing the back of his head.

Maura was nodding silently at the siblings but was too distracted with watching Phoebe on the swing.

" That rope looks to be quite old and is frayed at the knot. "

Maura was muttering under her breath while making her way into the backyard. Phoebe was completely unaware of her presence until she was about twenty feet away from the swinging teenager.

All at once the efforts to continue her momentum stopped, she twisted awkwardly to turn the old tire in the opposite direction until she was facing Maura.

She leaped off the swing while it was still in motion, landed gracefully on the ground and ran full force into the startled Medical Examiner - almost knocking her over. Jo Friday was nipping at their heels, yipping and jumping in gleeful celebration.

"Maura." Phoebe exclaimed before wrapping her arms around her waist and squeezing her breathless.

Neither thoughts nor words could take their form for Maura; she was wholly encompassed by the joyful feeling of being re-united with Phoebe. She settled for returning the hug with equal force.

"I could feel you there." Phoebe murmured into her shoulder as they held on tightly to one another. Maura nodded in return, not really trusting her voice for speech just yet. Her lacrimal glands were doing their thing; producing a river of tears, which did not embarrass her in front of the girl because Phoebe knew exactly how she was feeling.

They held each other for a long moment until they heard a throaty, husky;

"Ahem... think I could get in on that action?"

Jane was smiling at her two girls. That is how she thought of them in that moment and it didn't even surprise her. Suddenly, she was swamped by arms and laughter and the yipping, high pitched yelping of Jo Friday, who was leaping as high as she could to get included in the group hug.

"Alright you girls... dinner... you too Frankie. Wipe that smile off your face and go put on a decent shirt. You ain't wearin' that old rag to my dinner table."

Angela was smiling at the lot of them. What a family! Maybe it wasn't the kind of family she had envisioned when her babies were younger but it was a family all the same. When she looked upon those three huggin' in the yard she knew that Janie had finally found somethin' good and right. Her heart soared with the thought. That amazing child turned to look over her shoulder and flashed Angela a smile that could win a prize.

The little ensemble headed to the back porch with Phoebe in the middle. Each with an arm around the others shoulder while Frankie and Jo Friday were playin' side kick on either side. Frank senior musta read her mind coz she was wishin' she had brought the camera with her - and there he was, right beside her snappin' pictures. Sometimes God got everything right she had to admit. She would make sure to tell him that at church next Sunday - lately she had been a little mad at him.

Dinner was a classic potato gnocchi with pesto sauce. Janie preferred her ricotta recipe with tomato sauce but she had called earlier this morning to request the potato basil recipe. She said Maura hadn't had that one yet and wanted something special for their reunion with Phoebe. Even that phone call from Janie was a marked improvement in her behavior. Never before had Janie taken such an interest; to actually request that her Ma make something special for a guest.

'Course Maura wasn't a guest no longer in Angela's mind; she was family now and so was Phoebe. Just look at 'em all - they just fit so right together. Janie, Phoebe and Maura were sittin' on one side of the table, all in a row, and smilin' like they invented the expression themselves. Frank senior was in his usual place at the head of the table while she and Frankie balanced out the other side.

"Frank say's I can help him out some times on some of his easier jobs until I get to know how everything works... then later I can work on the harder stuff if I want."

Phoebe was tellin' Janie about being Frank's new apprentice. Snort. When did the two of them cook up that idea? Well, they both seemed happy about it so who was she to complain?

Janie's eyes were about to pop outta her head at what Phoebe said and Maura just smiled like the cat who got all the cream. Angela supposed she did when she thought about it. Maura got to have both Janie and Phoebe. They were both so devoted to her no one could get luckier than that.

"Pop, you're going to let Phoebe work the odd jobs with you? How come you never let me come along when I asked you to work on 'em? Frankie was pretendin' his nose was outta joint but he was really just tryin' to get a rise outta his ol' pop. Everyone knew how useless Frankie Jr. was as a plumber's helper. Angela would never admit it but she was just as glad that Frankie found another career.

Janie snorted and threw a piece of gnocchi cross the table at her brother.

"As if Frankie? For one; Phoebe is ten times more co-oridated than you are and two, she knows her left hand from her right."

"Janie do not be throwing food at my table... and be nice to your brother, not everyone in the family can be a genius like Maura and Phoebe."

That statement got the open mouthed, slack jawed expression she was expectin' from her two children. They both just gaped at her but then they started to laugh because neither of them was rocket scientists. They were far from dumb though and she was real proud.

And dinner went along just fine. Everyone catchin' up on the past few days that they had missed together. Angela made a rule before hand; there was to be no talkin' about that Serial Killer nut case Harold. She told Janie that wasn't no proper conversation for dinner. So far the rules were being followed, they had just finished desert and then that impossible child spilled the beans.

Phoebe blurted it out before Angela could stop her.

" We met a friend of Jane's at the market yesterday...or, someone who used to be a friend of Jane's but I don't think she is any more. "

The table got all quiet and Janie looked at Phoebe with a wary smile and a worried brow. Somehow, Angela could tell that Janie knew in the pit of her stomach what Phoebe was about to say. And, darn that girl - she knew what she was up to. She wasn't tryin' to cause no trouble, she really believed that it was best to confront things head on. But darn it there was a time and place for everything. And dinner was not the time nor the place.

"Phoebe... I told ya yesterday we ain't gonna bring this up right now. Especially right at dinner. We got other more important things to deal with in this family than some old school pal of Janie's. "

Angela glared at the teenager who seemed immune to such intimidation.

"Okay... I'll tell her later when we get home then."

She smiled at Angela, that awful lopsided grin she used when she thought she was being real smart. And then, in utter frustration, she blew a puff of air causing her bangs to fly around her face.

Janie looked at the girl and nodded calmly - like she already knew what the kid was going to say but just wanted confirmation. Phoebe returned the gaze with equal calm - like she was readin' Janie's feelings and knew it would be alright.

"It's okay Ma... I don't mind. Who did you bump into at the market Phoebe?"

"She said her name was Kelsie."

That turtle of Maura's has terrific timin'. He banged into the leg of the dinner table causin' everything to wobble. Maura's wine glass spilled right over spoiling the lovely emerald blouse she was wearin'. Angela couldn't tell if the upset on her face was coz of the blouse or Kelsie's name being brought up. Janie grabbed her napkin and soaked up the spill on Maura's sleeve before it got to the edge of the table. She was mumbling under her breath some kind of swears Angela had never heard before.

Sigh.

Why couldn't things stay smooth for more than half a day in this house? Angela wondered. Phoebe fit right in with this clan. She could stir a pot better than any one of her three kids and that took real talent.

Kelsie's name hadn't been mentioned in this house for twenty years and all the sudden Phoebe speaks it like it weren't a dirty word. Angela decided to create a little space for Janie and Maura to have some room to talk about this new development.

"Okay miss Phoebe dishes. Your turn to wash, Frankie will dry while I put the food away. Frank you can take the garbage out. "

"Hey, Ma... I wanted to put the game on." Frankie whined but Angela was having none of it.

"After dishes Frankie." And that was the end of a lovely dinner.

**Phoebe, Jane and Maura**

"We can talk about Kelsie later Phoebe. I think the three of us should talk about what's going to happen next."

They were seated in the living room. Jane and Maura were on the sofa and Phoebe was seated on the floor. She was patting Bass's shell with one hand while stroking Jo Friday's ruff with the other. Jo was snuggled up in Phoebe's lap wagging her tail like no tomorrow.

"Okay... but I don't think you should put this Kelsie thing off Jane. I felt her heart and I know what happened. I know you don't like her any more and you really don't care if you never see her but it will really be good for you...even if you don't think so..."

Maura was awfully quiet and Phoebe could tell why. She didn't want Maura to worry and she felt bad about bringing this Kelsie thing up; but it would really make her relationship with Jane a lot better. Sometimes she wished that everyone could do what she could do. Things would be so much easier. People wouldn't be so hateful and fearful if they could only feel what their actions and words could do. Really feel it on the deepest levels of their being.

Right now, for example; Jane and Maura were so connected and tuned to one another it was almost like listening to a beautiful duet. And they were tuned to Phoebe too. She was about to explode inside because she could tell how much they loved her. Both of them. They really wanted her to be with them as a family. And, that was more important to them than talking about Kelsie.

But Phoebe wanted this Kelsie thing taken care of. That was the last piece of the puzzle. Jane's heart was mostly better but there was still that dark corner. That place where all the ugliness started. Like a bad weed it needed to be pulled out so it could never grow back. And Phoebe knew that Kelsie needed to be the gardener. She needed to make amends to Jane so Jane would have a new and better memory of Kelsie. Something fresh to cover up the ancient hurt. Those old memories would never truly be gone but they could be softened. The hard, mean edges would be worn away and Jane could let it all go - for real.

"Phoebe..." Maura's voice was soft but firm, interrupting her silent reverie.

"We want you to live with us permanently. We want to get the paperwork filled out this week so you can continue to live here without the Social Service department getting over involved. Now that the case is over, we don't have the right to keep you here. Do you want to stay here Phoebe? With me? With Jane?"

"Um... yes I do Maura... I really do." Phoebe smiled at Maura to reassure her. She seemed so nervous about asking her but Phoebe had known the moment she met Maura that, somehow, she'd found her home. That's why she didn't feel as scared. But Maura wasn't done with everything she had to say yet...

"...Phoebe...I... ah... talked to a friend of mine who is a lawyer and asked him to begin a process for me. I want to ask your permission and I know this is a bigger question than just having you live here with me... but...I'd like to...I'd like to adopt you Phoebe. I'd like you to be my daughter... um... if that was something that you think you would would want too..."

Maura's eyes welled up with tears and so had Jane's. They were looking at her expectantly but were very happy and certain about what Maura said. Jane felt the same way as Maura but there was some other complication going on for Jane.

Ah... Phoebe guessed what it was... probably - she wasn't sure. She could feel an extra surge coming off of Jane's heart; a binding surge toward Maura - one that could meld them together like married people had. They already had that connection but Jane's was more intense right now. If they got married then Jane could adopt Phoebe too - but Jane didn't know how to ask Maura that yet.

She shook her head and realized that she had gone off in her head again without answering Maura's question about adopting her. Suddenly, her own eyes began to water. No one had ever cared so much about her. It wasn't that people hadn't tried to care for her. Many times, over her years of wandering, people had tried to care for her - had wanted to care for her but something had always gotten in the way.

And, Phoebe realized, a part of her was afraid to let them. She was a lot like Jane and was just now realizing that. Somewhere, way back in her past she had been deeply hurt. She didn't remember how, or who had hurt her, she only knew that it happened.

She couldn't read her own heart the way she could for everyone else, but she felt the pain. She felt a rejection that had settled with time; it anchored deeply within, like menacing claws gripping and pinching her soul. All this time she had been pushing Jane - nudging Jane along a path of forgiveness so she could get better. And now, just now - Phoebe was confronted with an identical challenge.

What did it mean to be adopted? Did it mean she didn't really have a mother out there after all? If she said yes to Maura's question what would she be letting go of ?

**To Be Continued**

_I know this has been a long story and thanks to all of you who have continued to read along. Maura will get her answer in the next chapter and Jane will meet with Kelsie. I will also wrap up some little details about the case. _

_I'd love to hear your thoughts about the story._

_Thanks again to those of you who have left me a note of encouragement. _


	19. Loose Ends

**I Can Feel Your Heart Beat. **

**Rizzoli & Isles **

**Pairing: Jane Rizzoli/Maura Isles**

**Author: myIllusion**

**Rating: R for later chapters**

_Disclaimer: I do not own the characters-no copyright infringement intended._

**Chapter XIX " Loose Ends " **

**Phoebe, Maura, Jane, Jo Friday, Bass**

_What did it mean to be adopted? Did it mean she didn't really have a mother out there after all? If she said yes to Maura's question what would she be letting go of ?_

Maura silently watched Phoebe process the impossible question she had sprung upon the girl. She scolded herself for being so insensitive. Darn. I did it again. Always going after what I want. This was all too soon for Phoebe. Her own experience of being adopted had left her with emotional hurts and questions about who her "real" family was. As an adult she still had those questions and hurts. She still searched in vain for her biological mother without really a hope of finding her.

Doyle had made it clear she didn't want to be found. That wasn't really true. Maura couldn't even lie to herself. Doyle had said her mother was distraught by having to give Maura up, and for the protection of both of them she had gone into hiding. She still had a hard time believing the truth of what Doyle told her. However, deep within, she knew he hadn't lied. That man Doyle; her biological father, had given her something at least. A little piece of a puzzle that was the cause of inner discord for most of her life. The issues of self-esteem that plagued her still, but consequently motivated her to become accomplished and successful.

With all of her success, she still had gaping holes in her emotional life. Those holes had been filled considerably with the presence of Jane and Phoebe. She could understand what Phoebe was feeling just now. Why she had wandered around from state to state, from city to city, from town to town.

Phoebe was just a child, all alone and yet she managed to use that incredible gift of hers to ease the hurts of others. But, Maura suspected, even if she hadn't admitted it to herself; Phoebe had been searching for her family. A family that might be "out there" still. She understood the need of Phoebe's search because she held that need within herself.

Maura would look at facial structure and body type, and hair color, and age. Every woman she met that fell within her criteria was on a list of "possible," which she stored within a file of her mind. A file she called, "Mother."

And so, with that in mind, she eased herself off the sofa and sat beside Phoebe on the floor. She slipped her arm around the girls shoulder before she quietly reassured her.

Phoebe had gone off in her head; she hadn't spoken but her eyes were filled with tears. Those dark, expressive, ancient orbs of wisdom were glistening with confusion and worry. Maura did not want to be the source of her discomfort.

"I'm sorry Phoebe. You don't have to answer that question. I want you to know that you will have a home with me for however long you want to. I love you and want you to be a part of my life on your terms. It was so insensitive of me to ask that of you right now. I just want you to feel safe, and to know that you have a home...always ... you will always have a home with me... and Jane. "

Maura offered that last part up because she knew that Jane felt the same as she. In the span of ten days she and Jane had become committed friends, lovers, partners, and were now offering themselves as adoptive parents.

After she and Jane had made love that morning they cuddled up together, facing one another with their legs and arms entangled. Jane's eyes were still that deeper dark they turned when she was filled with passion.

They hadn't discussed what might happen when the case was closed. Would Jane go back and live in her apartment? That idea seemed foreign to Maura. The three of them had merged together, somehow, in Maura's home. It felt so right. So complete.

_"A lot has happened Maura...in a short time. I don't know the half of what some of it means but I know what I want. I want us to be together. I want us to live together and I want that to be with Phoebe too."_

_Jane had spoken the perfect words. Words that nurtured her soul. They seemed to hum and vibrate throughout her entire body. They flowed within her veins and settled in the chambers of her heart, filling it up with light and life and love. _

_" I want that too Jane. I want all of that. " Maura whispered onto Jane's mouth._

She had been so elated with what Jane had proffered all she wanted to do was make it happen. She called her lawyer to solidify the foundation and set the wheels in motion. Now, however, at least where Phoebe was concerned; she would have to be patient. She did not want to frighten the child into running off again. That idea caused her heart to quake and shudder.

Phoebe shook herself to clear her mind. She was still holding Jo in her lap and stroking the wiry ruff. Jo flipped on her back to expose her soft pink belly. She sent to Phoebe, "rub?" Phoebe smiled and rubbed the dogs tummy. So easy she thought. So easy and pure with animals. They just said what they wanted clear and true. No strings attached, nothing to misconstrue. Maura was the only person Phoebe had ever met whose intentions held that same type of purity.

Maura was sitting next to her cuddling her shoulder; her heart was about to burst with worry and love. Phoebe knew what Maura wanted. As complex as her brain could be; all that thinking about facts and science - trying to connect everything together so the world could make sense to her: Maura's heart was clear and true. It rung like a bell that had perfect tone. Even the parts that held sorrow or pain were not damaged. They simply held sorrow or pain; they didn't seethe with vengeance or regret or blame. Maura was unique and Phoebe understood her.

She reached out with the hand that had been patting Bass a moment ago. She clasped Maura's knee and squeezed it tight.

She looked into those mutable eyes. Two golden pools with specks of green that swirled and danced with emotion.

" I love you too Maura. Don't be so worried. I promise I won't run away again. I want what you said. I want you to adopt me...but I still want to look for my family... can I still be your daughter if I want to look for my other family? "

Maura's breath hitched with what Phoebe said,

" Of course you can...

...and I will help you search for them. "

Phoebe hadn't noticed but Jane plopped herself on the floor with the rest of them. Bass was under the coffee table, Jo was in her lap and Maura was gushing against her shoulder. Jane was seated right in front of her; long legs all folded in on one another, her knees were bumping into Phoebes knees. She reached out to stroke Jo's tummy and included Phoebe's hand in the caress.

" So will I. "

They were on the floor, all of them together; a family. Phoebe had never been so happy in her life. Still, that part of her that was a teenager; that part that couldn't resist the urge to stir an already bubbling pot of emotion, that inner mischief which always seemed to surface at inappropriate times - felt a need to get the final word.

"You know what Jane? You should just ask her. I know you want to, and you're all nervous about it, but you'll never know until you do. I'm sure she'll say yes...you'll see."

And with that said. Phoebe leaned forward and kissed Jane on the cheek. She smiled brightly at the stunned Detective before declaring,

"...I'm tired... me and Jo are going to go to bed."

_...three weeks later_

**Jane & Kelsie**

She couldn't believe how calm and peaceful she felt. A part of her was nervous and a little bit scared but equal parts curious. Kelsie had called a week ago with a request to have coffee and "talk."

Jane had been very firm with Phoebe, telling the relentless teenager that she would only pursue this course if Kelsie made the first move. There was no way she would be calling her up to ask for an apology or any other such nonsense. And, Maura was far from comfortable with the idea.

Jane had never known Maura to be irrational before. She couldn't fathom Maura being jealous either. But the green eyed monster reared its head shortly after this encounter had been arranged.

_"What if you decide you still love her Jane? After all the years of running away from those feelings, what if she says she wants another chance? I know it is unlikely but what if...-"_

_"MAURA STOP!" Jane could hardly believe how many "what if " statements Maura was rattling off. Maura didn't like sentences that started with "what if." _

_"Maura what I felt for Kelsie was very monumental for that time in my life. What I felt for her is partly responsible for who I am today... but Maura, that is all it is to me right now, in this moment - it's part of my past."_

_" A painful part of my past. Those feelings of unrequited love are in the past too. I can't pretend it didn't happen and I don't want to... and, as much as a part of me dreads this meeting; I've come to agree with Phoebe. I want to have something good to remember about Kelsie. I don't want the anger any more, or the shame, or the rejection. I don't want to associate my memories of my youth with those hurtful feelings any more." _

_"I'm happy Maura... I'm so happy now and that happiness is because of you...please believe me, please trust me ... trust that I need to do this for myself... so I can be my best when I'm with you."_

_Maura had relented then. She allowed Jane to hold and soothe her but later that evening she was wild and dominating in bed. Jane was a little shocked at how aggressive Maura became but she rather enjoyed the surprise. On her way to the shower in the morning she glanced at Maura who had decided to sleep in. The satisfied grin and glint of amusement that met her gaze was a little disturbing and bordered on what Jane could only think of as, "very naughty." _

_She understood why when she entered the bathroom and caught a glimpse of herself in the mirror. Christ. What the fuck? Her body was covered in hickies and bite marks. Maura had marked a trail from her neck to her...! Damn! I'll have to wear a turtle neck to work for a fucking month._

So, here she was wearing a navy turtle neck sweater with black jeans, striding down the path in her "don't fuck with me" boots, and walking Jo Friday on Saturday afternoon. Kelsie had agreed to meet her in the park. Jane thought it might be easier for them to talk if they were outside and away from people. Maura and Phoebe were out shopping for accessories for Phoebe's bedroom. Moon Fabrication had removed the insulation and Maura decided that Phoebe should choose her own decor for the room.

These random thoughts distracted her momentarily; she almost wandered by without noticing the tall, slight figure standing near a bench. A shadow from the past - the ghost of teenage angst and sorrow. She didn't seem so scary after all. It was just Kelsie. Her one time best friend forever. Her one time lover.

Kelsie aged in much the same way Jane had. Very well. Her hair was thick and long and the color of straw. Her eyes were crystal blue. They held that same steady calm, the cool that had personified her youthful friend. But something else was leaking through. Sadness. Incredible sadness and sorrow. The closer Jane approached the clearer it became.

They stood for a moment not saying a word. Silently appraising one another. They were still like Yin and Yang Jane thought. Jane was dressed in dark colors and full of fire and life. Kelsie was wearing a sky blue sweater with faded blue jeans, and hiking boots. Her face was masked and calm and cool. But it could not hide her sorrow nor her fear.

"Hi Kel." Jane whispered.

"Jane." Kelsie breathed in relief. As though she had waited a long, long time for this meeting and it had finally come to pass.

Jo Friday uttered a low grrrrrrrr. Phoebe had told her earlier that she had to be good. She was allowed to say one bad word but after that she was supposed to be nice. So, Jo growled one time; astonishing Jane, but then she wagged her tail as if nothing happened at all.

This canine interruption prevented Kelsie from hugging Jane like she wanted. And Jane seemed startled that the dog had growled at her.

"Jo... NO! Wow... I'm sorry Kel, she never does that but she's wagging her tail now so... um.. that was just kind of weird. Um... anyway, how are you Kel?"

Kelsie was playing with her hair and fidgeting; looking altogether extremely uncomfortable but she forged onward. She wanted to say, needed to say these things to Jane.

"Could we walk Jane? I think it will be easier for me to gather my thoughts if we could take a stroll while we're talking."

"Sure." Jo wagged her tail and took the lead. She would be the leader and they could follow her directions.

And so they strode, side by side following an errant route mapped out by a fifteen inch terrier. They didn't notice where they were headed, they didn't think about why. The trail wasn't really important... what mattered was where it would lead them.

Jane wasn't in a hurry to say anything more. She asked Kelsie how she was and decided to wait for an answer. Trusting in her instincts as a detective; she knew that it was Kelsie who needed to speak and she who needed to listen.

She found the situation ironic. Just a month ago Phoebe was saying to Maura,

'you need to let her say these things, it's the only way your heart can heal'.

Kelsie let out a deep sigh and then she began to speak.

"I'm not well at all Jane. I'm terrible in fact but things are getting better." She risked a hesitant glance at Jane, who encouraged her to continue with a subtle nod.

" I've been married for the past ten years to a wonderful man. My second husband, by the way...I have a two year old daughter whom I adore. I'm an attorney with a private practice and do quite well for myself professionally. But...I've lied to myself for twenty years. "

"I've left my husband Jane. I've taken my baby girl and I've come home. Home to the scene of the crime."

**To Be Continued**

_Thanks again to those of you who have left me a note of encouragement._


	20. Full Circle

**I Can Feel Your Heart Beat. **

**Rizzoli & Isles **

**Pairing: Jane Rizzoli/Maura Isles**

**Author: myIllusion**

**Rating: R for later chapters**

_Disclaimer: I do not own the characters-no copyright infringement intended._

_This is it... the Final Chapter... I hope you enjoy._

**Chapter XX " Full Circle " **

**Jane & Kelsie**

_"I'm not well at all Jane. I'm terrible in fact but things are getting better." She risked a hesitant glance at Jane, who encouraged her to continue with a subtle nod._

_" I've been married for the past ten years to a wonderful man. My second husband, by the way...I have a two year old daughter whom I adore. I'm an attorney with a private practice and do quite well for myself professionally. But...I've lied to myself for twenty years. "_

_"I've left my husband Jane. I've taken my baby girl and I've come home. Home to the scene of the crime."_

Jane could only gape at Kelsie's declaration while her detective mind searched for a clue as to what she meant by that cryptic statement. 'Home to the scene of the crime?' The crime of breaking and entering into Jane's heart? The crime of vandalism of said heart ? The crime of being a heartless lying bitch?

While sorting through those options she recognized an uncomfortable, tingly, hair raising on the nape of her neck, and panicky feeling in the pit of her stomach. Ugh.

Please don't say what I think you're going to say Jane begged silently. She hadn't come here for this. Had she? A small part of her ego wondered about how honest she was being with herself.

That tiny niggling voice in the back of her mind was saying; yes Jane, this is what you've wanted to hear for twenty years. You want her to tell you she's sorry and you want her to beg you for another chance. How many countless fantasies did you have ending in this very scenario Jane? How did those fantasies end Jane? With revenge? Or, would you welcome her back into your heart and into your bed? Kelsie was your ideal for years and years. She was your perfect woman except for those little flaws. She rejected you. She said she hated you. She hurt you. Is it time for payback Jane? Or do you still want her?

NO.

Kelsie wondered what was going on in Jane's mind. She had a wide eyed look of confusion - is that a good sign? she mused, but decided she should continue with what she wanted to say before she lost her nerve.

"I came back because of you Jane."

And still Jane did not respond but continued to stare at her like she was some kind of alien being or speaking in tongues.

" Things have come full circle for me Jane. I've spent twenty years telling myself I was normal... uh... you know "straight" and forcing myself to live like I believed it. But no matter how much I tried I could never forget how much I really loved you. I could never forgive myself for how I treated you... how hateful and mean I was. I'm sorry Jane. I am so sorry for what I did to you... to us."

Their easy stroll had faltered; the pace came to a jilting stop and both women stood frozen, staring at one another. Jo tugged on the leash, which pulled Jane out of the stupor that seemed to paralyze her. Noticing a grassy patch of lawn on the side of the path she motioned toward the spot.

"Lets sit down Kel... I think I need to sit to talk about this stuff." Her husky voice was shaking with nerves, her mind was filled with contradiction and her emotions were off the chart on levels of confusion.

"Okay." And Kelsie strolled over to the patch of grass, sat down and pulled her legs up to embrace them with her arms. She set her chin on her knees and gazed at Jane wistfully.

Sigh.

Jane sat down beside her and placed Jo Friday in her lap. She didn't want the little terrier to start growling again. For some reason she felt like Jo knew exactly what was going on and would take steps to prevent Jane from being an idiot. Jane was still processing the use of Kelsie's word "us". After all these years Kelsie was thinking of she and Jane as "Us." What the fuck? Jane was starting to get mad.

Could nothing ever be simple? All she wanted was for Kelsie to say "I'm sorry I was a jerk all that while ago... I'm really happy that you have a new girlfriend and best wishes." Why couldn't people just once in awhile do the right thing without pissing all over their good intentions in the process?

"Jane... um...are you going to say anything?"

Sigh.

"I'm trying to wrap my head around what you just said Kelsie. I appreciate the apology and I can tell you're really sorry about how you broke up with me. I don't even know if that is how you perceive what you did. To me... it was a break-up. But the things you said. You said you hated me and that you weren't "like that...a dyke like me." And I get it Kel. We were just kids and being gay back then was a hell of a lot harder than it is now. "

"But for all that Kelsie...I was crushed by what you said and what you did. You could have just told me no. That you wanted to stop being lovers. I would have had a hard time with that but I think I would have eventually understood and accepted it. We could have probably even salvaged our friendship. Instead, to save yourself you went and told those fucking girls that I tried to feel you up... and you threatened me Kel. All of those things were so cruel and so damaging it took me a long time to recover from that betrayal Kelsie...in some ways I'm still recovering. "

"Do you know... I was tempted to tell the whole lot of them that we had been fucking each other for two weeks before you decided you weren't like me? I wanted to hurt you like you hurt me. I thought 'fuck her, I can be mean too'. But then you know what else I thought Kel? I love her and I don't want to hurt her... and so I couldn't do that to you."

Kelsie had her face pressed into her knees, her shoulders were heaving and tears were streaming down her cheeks. Jane watched her cry; she felt no satisfaction but a deep sadness for the woman she once loved. She wasn't going to let her off the hook, however; Kelsie had come here to make amends but she also had another agenda.

" I know you wanted to see me Kelsie... to apologize and I thank you for that. But did you want something else too Kelsie? "

Sniffle.

Kelsie wiped her eyes with the sleeve of her sweater, she nodded her head and stretched her long legs out before her.

"Yes Jane... I want you. I want another chance at what we had... I know you are involved with someone. Your mother told me at the grocery store. So did that girl... Phoebe. Um... I shouldn't be saying this because I know you will turn me down. But I don't think I could move forward in my life if I didn't ask Jane. For years I've been stuck on the idea that you are my "one true love" and I know I won't let it go unless you tell me to."

She smiled at Jane then. A tentative, awkward smile that said so much. It said, I know you'll say no. I know you think I'm a fool. But I'm a brave fool. Please forgive me, I couldn't help myself...and yes... I have a little hope... but not really.

"So... Jane will you give me another chance to love you?"

Jane's stomach was flipping in every direction. Kelsie still had loads of charm and that strange sense of humor which left you wondering which part of the joke was the punch line? Everything she said just now was perfect. And, damn if it didn't pull her heart strings. For a moment she was back in that dorm room laughing with her beautiful friend. Appreciating that beauty that had so ensnared her, loving the mischief that sparkled from those compelling pools of azure blue.

Jane returned the smile that Kelsie bravely wore with her standard smirk. Some things never change she decided. But she didn't mind that Kelsie asked. Kelsie knew what Jane would say but she asked her anyway - because she had to. Jane's need was just the same in the opposite way. That teenager she had once been needed Kelsie to ask... to balance out that old rejection. To make the apology Kelsie offered sincere.

"You need to let it go Kel."

Their eyes met in an open, honest gaze for the first time. Together they acknowledged the truth of the past and what it meant for this awkward here and now.

Kelsie's eyes were streaming tears again. Tears of sorrow for what had been, tears of grief for what would never be, and tears of relief and acceptance of the present moment.

"Thank you Jane." She whispered.

Nudging Jo Friday out of her lap Jane reached out and pulled Kelsie into a warm embrace. After twenty years Jane was holding her again.

Finally.

She had come home to Jane. The home was in the healing of the past. The home was in the courage to face it honestly. The home was in completing the circle. The home was how it felt to be forgiven so she could start anew.

The women drew apart after a long tender moment of holding one another.

"Thank you Jane... I love you Jane."

"Your welcome... I love you too Kel...but, um... you know... not like that... um like...-"

Kelsie laughed for the first time. A real deep, from the gut chortle that said, 'don't be such a dork' Rizzoli.

"I know Jane... not like _that._"

"Guess what Kel?"

"What?"

"I'm getting married."

**The Case of Harold Parsons**

Harold Parsons committed heinous acts of murder. Hate crimes with no mercy. A predator of the sickest sort, literally and figuratively. The official record states that Harold Parsons was a mentally ill person who had weaned himself off anti psychotic medication. Medication that kept his Schizophrenia in check.

The brutal murder of his baseball teammate resulted in this diagnosis at the very early age of fourteen. In his defense Harold stated that the young man had forced him to perform fellatio, which consequently sent him into a blind rage. He claimed he had no actual recollection of his act of violence.

Released from juvenile detention at the age of eighteen Harold became an exemplary member of the community. He worked as a case manager for the Department of Child Protective Services; he was a volunteer at a the local community center and was a lifetime member of the Holy Baptist Church on Seventh Street. The conditions of his release into mainstream society were based upon his treatment regimen. His medication had been administered and regulated for the first ten years of his release. Later, he was allowed to manage his medication himself as long as he showed up for monthly drug tests to assure the dosage levels were within his psychiatrists specifications.

Because Harold was shot and killed by an intended victim, investigators had to rely upon physical evidence and witness testimony to flesh out the theory behind Harold's five day killing spree. After a fruitless search of physical evidence in his home investigators stumbled upon monthly payments to a storage facility. A treasure trove of evidence was found; it documented the mind of a diabolical self-righteous, homophobic killer.

His so called "trophies" had to be the most bizarre representation of a killers "collection" that Jane had ever heard of. Splinters extracted from his own hands that he willingly self inflicted while committing each murder. The splinters were pressed between glass and framed in tiny light boxes. Each box was set upon a strange display.

The first "trophy" was set in the center of the table while each of the others were placed strategically around it in a pyramid shape. Maura had been the one to figure out the significance of his symbolism. Jane had showed her Harold's juvenile records and the notes from the psychiatrist who interviewed him.

_" It's all about that first victim when Harold was fourteen Jane. His position on the team was the pitcher. If we test the splinters in that center display I believe we will find they came from the bat that Harold killed him with. A bat that was made of White Ash. " _

_"What makes you say so Maura?" _

_Jane knew the answer but she enjoyed how much pleasure it gave Maura to explain her theory. A theory that she worked out alone. A theory that almost got her killed. But, Jane decided that Maua had earned the right to tell Harold's story. _

_As a formality she tape recorded what Maura had to say so they would have additional documentation if they needed it. Maura's theory was not evidence but Jane still wanted it as part of the supplementary background on the case._

_" That first victim... I believe his name was Donny Benson. Harold hit him so many times that his face could not be recognized. The bat was cracked in two. Overkill. The difference between Donny and the recent victims is very important. Harold was so humiliated by what Donny made him do he needed to obliterate him completely...erase his face, blot out his eyes from seeing or telling what Harold had done."_

_During the span of years that Harold restrained himself a transference occurred. He became Donny in a way. That is why it was so important for him to preserve his victims identities. That is why he practiced with those manikins. It was very important for him not to damage their faces."_

_"I don't get it... that doesn't make sense Maura. He hated gay men Maura... I would think he would want to bash their faces in too... just like he did with Donny."_

_"No Jane. Somehow he perceived that Donny was "normal" or "straight" even though he had Harold perform fellatio on him. In the juvenile file Harold claimed that Donny called him a 'faggot' and laughed at him. So, in Harold's adult corrupted mind he needed to be normal too. And having a man perform fellatio on him fell into his odd category of "straight." The witness interviews confirm this thus far. Currently five men have come forth voluntarily to describe their encounters with Harold. All of them maintain that Harold wanted them to perform fellatio on him but adamantly refused to reciprocate. "_

_"He had been recreating that first murder over and over again. He obliterated Donny so he could become Donny; the cool attractive "straight" guy. His victims became him. He'd been killing himself each time Jane. That part of himself that he hated. That part of himself that got down on his knees and wanted to pleasure Donny Bensen. He preserved their faces so the world would know "who and what" they were... and that they deserved to die."_

_"When you combine his fanaticism with the medications he's been on for years and years. When you read his journals it all makes sense... of course I can't prove it because Harold is dead and we still have missing pieces. But that is my theory Jane. A story woven with scattered facts, sordid details, and a healthy dose of speculation and conjecture; a dark and ugly tapestry of hatred, murder and sin." _

_"Wow Maura... can I get you to write that on a napkin and sign it for me? The speculation and conjecture part I mean."_

_" JANE!.." Maura stomped her foot. " I'm not finished and this is serious," but she couldn't suppress the tiny upward curl of her lips in reaction to Jane's reference of their private joke._

_"Sorry Maura. " Jane put her hand over her mouth to cover up the smirk that emerged._

_" Getting back to your question about the display. It's a baseball diamond not a pyramid. Donny Bensen is the pitcher's mound. Stephen Fitzgerald is first base. Jacob Peterson is second base. Paul Whitfield is third base. And...Andrew McPhearson would have been Home."_

_" Harold was obsessed with, 'Bringing them home to God.' He told me that himself when he held me captive. He also told me God wouldn't want their beauty marred and that is why he preserved their faces. But I also believe he used his religious beliefs as a surface excuse for his actions. He couldn't bring himself to look at his own latent homosexuality. He was furious with me when I confronted him about it. "_

_"I know Maura...Korsak told me all about that." Jane tried to keep the edge out of her voice but a little of it leaked through anyway. Maura was suddenly staring at her lap to avoid the intensity of Jane's gaze. _

_"It's okay Maura...it's all in the past and I know you won't do something like that again. Finish what you were saying... I'm sorry I interrupted you." Her voice returned to it's normal husky tones and she softened it so Maura would know that she wasn't going to pursue the matter. _

_"That pretty much covers it. The two by fours were important. The length he used is the average range for the length of a baseball bat. They came from White Ash timbers as do the majority of baseball bats. He practiced with Pine and used the Ash for the real "game." I believe he was planning on having many more victims. He still had three more twelve foot lengths of White Ash and many surplus display cases. We were fortunate to stop him when we did Jane. "_

_Jane turned off the tape recorder. She sighed heavily._

_" I know."_

The detailed drawings and notebooks discovered within Harold Parsons storage facility would be evaluated by psychiatrists for years to come. Jane had doubts, however; about whether Harold would have remained harmless had he continued his course of medication. The evidence suggested that he had been practicing for murder for years. He used old store manikins as targets for practice with his homemade club. Hundreds of them had been found in a heaping pile - all with their skulls bashed in.

On a personal level Jane was saddened by the social implications of the case. With the exception of crimes against children; hate crimes were the most malicious and repugnant of cases for Jane to investigate. Until the members of society, as a whole, collectively made a stand against such acts of violence and hatred; the problem would continue to fester.

Sigh.

Jane finished the final details on her report and closed the folder with a sense of relief she had never quite experienced on any other case. The complicated involvement of her personal life and the sad conclusions that were revealed left her feeling somewhat ambivalent.

She ran her fingers through her silky wild mane, stretched her long legs underneath her desk and decided it was time to go home. Home to be with her family.

**Jane, Maura, Phoebe, Jo Friday and Bass**

Phoebe found the old red wagon in the garage. It was in perfect condition but it had to be real old because it was made of metal and had those old type wheels on it. _ Radio Flyer_ was written in slanted white letters on the side. She couldn't believe how heavy Bass was but she managed to get him situated in the center comfortably. He retreated to his shell as soon Phoebe told him she was going to pick him up. She place a blanket in the bottom to make it comfortable for him to ride in.

"C'mon Jo, you can fit in too if you want."

Jo Friday got up on her hind legs to peek inside the wagon at Bass. Her front paws were resting on the rim and her little tail was breaking a wagging record. She looked over at Phoebe as if to say 'are you sure I can fit in there too?'

"You'll fit Jo..." And then Bass decided to inch his way to the front of the wagon making a little more room for his canine friend. He was trying to make an effort with Jo because it was apparent she was a permanent resident of his home now. Maura told him not to be so stuffy. How could she think that he was stuffy? That dog was hyper active - he had to retreat to his shell on occasion to get some peace and quiet. That did not mean he was stuffy. He was agreeing to ride in a wagon wasn't he?

"Thanks Bass, that was really cool of you to make room for Jo... now Jo you just get up behind Bass and don't lick his shell...he doesn't like it when you do that."

Phoebe blew a puff of air at her bangs while waiting for Jo to situate herself behind the dignified tortoise. The little dog was trembling with excitement and Bass was well...he looked bored. Phoebe chuckled at the pair while pulling them down the walk that led to the back yard.

Maura and Jane were on the swings. Well, Maura was on the swing and Jane was pushing her.

Phoebe watched for a moment before joining them with Jo and Bass. After Maura said yes to Jane about getting married. And after Jane met with Kelsie. And after the case of that crazy Harold was closed. They got on with their lives together.

Everything was pretty smooth. Phoebe felt a little weird about starting school in January. She had a tutor for now until the next semester so she still got to enjoy a lot of time with Jane and Maura when they weren't at work.

Maura decided she wanted a swing set in the back yard. She had it custom built to her very specific specifications. There had to be three swings all in a row. The frame had to be super sturdy and the seats had to have soft padding. The ropes were thick and strong. She insisted on rope even though the carpenter told her chains would be better. The three of them spent the time before dinner on the swing set, sharing the events of the day together - talking and laughing and swinging like children.

Phobe smiled. Maura was getting braver all the time. She could hear her urging Jane to put her back into it.

"Higher... higherrr Jane... higherrrr... HIGHERRRRrrrr..." Maura screamed and erupted into wild laughter as Jane sent her soaring toward the heavens.

The utter joy that filled Maura's heart made Phoebe weak in the knees.

Sometimes she hated her gift because she shared the misery of the world in a way she would rather not. But today. In her back yard. The joy she felt was immeasurable. She could feel the love in each and every Heart Beat. She pulled the wagon into the yard to greet her two mothers. They laughed out loud when they saw its content; they laughed even harder when they got a look at the face Bass was making. Jo jumped out of the wagon to run and bark and jump - and Phoebe raced over to claim a swing.

"Me too Jane...please... push me high... high as the sky."

**The End.**

_I can't stand to leave things unexplained which is why you got the case details of Harold whether you wanted them or not. I didn't include the proposal because so many other people have written beautiful proposals in their stories and I didn't think I could do as well. But, hopefully this ending left you with a happy feeling. I may write a sequel which would involve Phoebe's search for her family and accidentally ensnare the three of them in another case. But for now... the story is finished._

_I want to thank all of you who have supported and reviewed this story from the start. Some of you checked in on every chapter and I love you. :) Some of you checked in every once in a while... I love you too. :) I tried to respond to every review with a thank you... I'm sorry if I overlooked anyone. I'd also like to thank the people who reviewed anonymously...I wasn't able to send you all a note. So, Thank You so much for the wonderful support... I hope you enjoyed the reading as much as I enjoyed the writing._


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